Go to ChatGPT and ask the following question:
“Tell a joke in the style of theafterword.co.uk”
AI News 2 – Afterword jokes on ChatGBT
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Musings on the byways of popular culture
“Why did the Afterworder refuse to read the last chapter of the book? Afraid it might fade into the land of forgotten threads, lost in the archives, where only nostalgic musings and obscure references reside.”
“Why did the Afterworder refuse to skip tracks on their playlist? Just in case the B-side had an insightful hidden track, like a forum thread that starts with cat videos and ends with profound philosophy.”
“Why did the Afterworder bring a dictionary to the party? They were hoping to analyze the lyrics of the latest pop songs as if they were deep Dylan-esque poetry, and engage in a debate about the true meaning of ‘ba ba ba’.”
“Why did the Afterworder start a thread about escalators? They were convinced that the escalator’s upward motion was a metaphor for the existential journey, and they spent 100 comments debating whether going down represented life’s inevitable descent into chaos.”
I think we can get ChatGBT to take over now – it can write and read all our content.
I feel as if it knows us too well! This is spooky. Are some of those direct quotes it has found on here? Surely that bit about a thread starting with cat videos and “turning into profound philosophy” isn’t just something from the mind of a robot?
I wonder if I can get it to play the wordle golf tournament for me?
That’s a fascinating experiment, Sal. I’d like to really put ChatGPT though its paces.
Tell a joke in the style of…..
Philip Larkin
On the Buses
Taylor Swift
Donald Trump
Lizzo
Alan Bennett
J.K. Rowling
Boris Johnson
Billy Bragg
etc etc etc
Hours of fun to be had!
I have tried that kind of thing but it’s not clever enough. It just reposts the same stuff time and time again and changes it slightly – not like us here on the ever-changin’ , chameleonesque Afterword.
Ever-changin’ and chameleonesque! That’s us! @Black Celebration.
Rapier wit! Dazzling repartee! Hilarious one-liners!
On a good day at least.
AI can’t do wit, spontaneity and timing.
You forgot Wee Willy Harris
Laugh while you can, sheeple!
Lulled into complacency and compliance by the siren call of the latest piece of
shiny new tech, you will soon just be powerless dullards slumped in front of your
computers*
* Pretty much business as usual for most of us then
Sounds great to me.
Will there be audiophile headcans and cheese toasties?
I’ve just asked it to write an episode of The Goon Show:
Title: The Goon Show – “The Dreaded Dishcloth of Doom”
[FX: Eccentric music playing]
Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time once again for another absurdly nonsensical episode of The Goon Show! Join us as we follow the misadventures of our beloved characters, Spike Milligan, Peter Sellers, and Harry Secombe.
[FX: Whistle blowing]
Spike: (as Eccles) ‘Ello, ‘ello, ‘ello! What’s all this then?
Peter: (as Bluebottle) Oh, hello there, officer Eccles. We’re just conducting important scientific experiments.
Harry: (as Neddie Seagoon) Scientific experiments, you say? Well, it better not involve any of your usual shenanigans!
Spike: (as Eccles) Oh no, no, no! This time we’re investigating the mysterious properties of… (dramatic pause) the dishcloth!
Peter: (as Bluebottle) Yes, the dreaded dishcloth of doom, it is!
Harry: (as Neddie Seagoon) The dreaded dishcloth of doom? You two nincompoops couldn’t investigate a sausage factory without causing a calamity.
Spike: (as Eccles) Oh, but this dishcloth is no ordinary dishcloth. It’s been behaving strangely, it has!
Peter: (as Bluebottle) Yes, just last night it did a somersault while I was washing the dishes. A full somersault, I tell you!
Harry: (as Neddie Seagoon) Nonsense, you’re both off your rockers. Show me this so-called ‘dreaded dishcloth of doom.’
[FX: Sound of a dishcloth rustling]
Spike: (as Eccles) There it is, officer! Observe its malevolent wobbling!
Peter: (as Bluebottle) Yes, look at it go, wobble wobble!
Harry: (as Neddie Seagoon) (Sighs) That’s just a regular dishcloth. I can’t believe I’m wasting my time on this.
[FX: Loud crash]
Spike: (as Eccles) Oh dear, it seems the dishcloth has knocked over a stack of plates!
Peter: (as Bluebottle) Wobble wobble, crash crash!
Harry: (as Neddie Seagoon) I’ve had enough of this nonsense. I’m going to consult with our resident expert, Professor Crun.
[FX: Footsteps]
[FX: Knock on the door]
Wallace: (as Professor Crun) (Mumbling) Oh, what’s all this racket about, then?
Harry: (as Neddie Seagoon) Professor Crun, we need your scientific expertise. These two numskulls are convinced that a dishcloth is cursed or something.
Wallace: (as Professor Crun) (Chuckles) Dishcloth, you say? Let me take a look at it.
[FX: Sound of dishcloth rustling]
Wallace: (as Professor Crun) (Laughs) This is just a regular dishcloth! There’s no curse or doom involved.
Spike: (as Eccles) But, but it wobbled!
Wallace: (as Professor Crun) Wobbled? Oh, you lot are a bunch of ninnyhammers. Look, I’ll show you.
[FX: Wallace wobbling the dishcloth]
Wallace: (as Professor Crun) See? It’s all about balance and physics. Now, go on, get out of here with your dishcloth fantasies!
[FX: Footsteps]
Harry: (as Neddie Seagoon) Well, I guess that settles that. No more dreaded dishcloth of doom nonsense.
Spike: (as Eccles) Right, right. Let’s go find some other scientific mysteries to solve.
Peter: (as Bluebottle) Wobble wobble, mysteries to solve!
Narrator: And so, dear listeners, another bizarre adventure comes to an end. The dreaded dishcloth of doom turns out to be nothing more than a product of imagination and an overactive sense of absurdity. Tune in next time for more hilarity and chaos on The Goon Show!
[FX: Eccentric music fades out]
I’m sure I saw The Dreaded Dishcloth Of Doom play Battle of The Bands at Fibbers in York once. They came last, naturally.
Invent a band that Afterworders will like
Sure, here’s a fictional band that might pique the interest of Afterworders:
**Band Name:** “Ephemeral Echoes”
**Genre:** Progressive Psychedelic Folk-Rock
**Description:**
“Ephemeral Echoes” is a band that seamlessly blends intricate progressive rock elements with the dreamy vibes of psychedelic music, all wrapped in a folk-rock tapestry. Their music takes listeners on a journey through lush sonic landscapes, combining complex instrumental arrangements with introspective and thought-provoking lyrics.
The band’s lead vocalist possesses a hauntingly ethereal voice that resonates with the depths of human emotion. Their lyrics delve into philosophical concepts, personal reflections, and imaginative narratives, often leaving listeners pondering the mysteries of existence.
Drawing inspiration from classic rock icons, as well as world music influences, “Ephemeral Echoes” crafts melodies that transport listeners into a realm where time seems to slow down, allowing them to escape the daily grind and explore the realms of their thoughts and emotions.
With their richly textured soundscapes, intricate instrumental interplay, and poetic storytelling, “Ephemeral Echoes” captures the hearts of Afterworders who appreciate music that invites introspection and intellectual engagement, creating the perfect soundtrack for deep discussions and contemplative evenings on the afterword.co.uk forum.
Aaaaaaargh!! That blurb would ensure that I never even took Ephemeral Echoes out of the sleeve. It reads like the work of a 6th former who is on a work placement and has regurgitated ancient copy from the NME.
It’s a very good pastiche!
Sounds like one of mine!
I preferred the demo version of AI
The amusing thing about ChatGPT when translated to French it homophones to “Cat, I farted”
See my tag
Missed that when looking on my phone
Please see me after class, Digit.
Trays, those unsung heroes of the kitchen, have a fascinating history. From the earliest days of human civilization, trays have served as a practical way to carry and present food. In ancient Egypt, trays of gold and silver were used to serve the pharaohs. And in medieval Europe, trays were often decorated with intricate designs and used to display the most elaborate feasts. Today, trays come in all shapes and sizes, from simple plastic models to elegant silver platters. But no matter how humble or grand, trays continue to play an essential role in our daily lives, making entertaining easier and more enjoyable for everyone. So let’s raise a toast to those beloved trays, and the countless memories they’ve helped to create!
“Mölkky: The Game of Champions”
Introduction:
Mölkky, a Finnish lawn game, has gained tremendous popularity worldwide due to its engaging gameplay, strategic depth, and social appeal. As a combination of skill, precision, and camaraderie, Mölkky has transcended cultural boundaries and emerged as the game of choice for champions seeking both competitive thrill and leisurely enjoyment.
Historical Context:
Originating in Finland in the late 1990s, Mölkky draws inspiration from traditional skittles games. Its simple design and rules make it accessible to players of all ages and backgrounds. Initially played amongst friends and family, Mölkky’s popularity grew organically as enthusiasts spread the word about this unique and entertaining pastime.
Gameplay Dynamics:
Mölkky’s allure lies in its blend of accuracy and strategy. Players take turns throwing a wooden pin (mölkky) at a set of numbered pins arranged in a tight formation. Knocking over pins scores points, and the first to exactly 50 points wins. Strategic decisions come into play as players aim to knock down specific pins, while also avoiding surpassing the 50-point threshold, which results in a score reset to 25.
Champion’s Mindset:
Champion Mölkky players exemplify a combination of precision, adaptability, and sportsmanship. Success demands a keen understanding of physics, calculated throws, and the ability to quickly adjust tactics based on opponents’ moves. Champions showcase a balance between aggressive pin targeting and cautious point accumulation, displaying their mastery over the game’s intricate dynamics.
Social and Community Impact:
Beyond its competitive nature, Mölkky fosters social interaction and bonds among players. Parks, beaches, and backyard gatherings become venues for friendly Mölkky matches, strengthening connections between players and encouraging new friendships. This sense of camaraderie, coupled with Mölkky’s inclusive nature, contributes to its reputation as the “Game of Champions.”
Global Phenomenon:
Mölkky’s rise to global prominence can be attributed to its easy setup, minimal equipment requirements, and adaptability to various environments. Its versatility has led to international championships, where players from diverse cultures converge to test their skills and forge cross-cultural connections. The spirit of competition and shared love for the game have contributed to making Mölkky a unifying force in the world of sports and recreation.
Conclusion:
Mölkky’s journey from a Finnish backyard game to an international sensation exemplifies its qualities as the “Game of Champions.” Its simplicity belies the strategic depth that champions master, while its emphasis on social interaction fosters bonds among players. As Mölkky continues to unite people from different corners of the globe, its legacy as a game that transcends borders and backgrounds cements its status as a true game of champions.
Why did the music critic refuse to play hide and seek with the orchestra?
Because every time they found a good hiding spot, they couldn’t resist giving it a glowing review! And the strings section just couldn’t handle the praise – they kept getting all wound up!
So ChatGPT not so good at telling jokes then.
It reminds me of a TV skit in the nineties – perhaps Spitting Image – where they had John Major proving beyond doubt that he had a sense of humour.
“My dog has no nose”
“How does he smell?”
“(chuckle) He can’t smell! He doesn’t have a nose!!”
When I typed ‘in the style of the afterword.co.uk’ it wouldn’t play, said it couldn’t access specific websites (yeah right…) but when I tried the Afterword, it came up with this:
Why did the vinyl record go to therapy? Because it had too many groovy issues to work out, man.
Spooky.
The 2018 Data Protection Act, in rhyming couplets.
As clunky as you’d probably expect. With errors.
—————————————————
In eighteen, one-eight, the law did update,
Data Protection Act of twenty-eight,
To safeguard info in this digital state,
A rhyme to guide you, let’s contemplate.
Rights for individuals, control they maintain,
Data controllers must comply, no disdain,
Transparency and fairness, like a steady rain,
Informing all processes, the law does ordain.
Personal data, a treasure to keep,
Consent must be clear, not buried too deep,
For processing purposes, limits not to leap,
Lawfulness and purpose, in promises we reap.
Rights to access data, a window so clear,
Rectify inaccuracies, hold data dear,
Erasure and restriction, when needed, appear,
To balance the power, the Act holds near.
When breaches occur, alarms start to sound,
Notify authorities, quick actions abound,
Protecting rights, trust should surround,
Cyber threats and leaks must be tightly wound.
To youngsters’ data, special care to show,
Their innocence guarded, as they freely grow,
Parental consent, processes to follow,
Safe and secure online, they should know.
So, in rhymes I’ve told, the tale of this Act,
In twenty-eight it emerged, a legal pact,
For data’s protection, it’s a guide, in fact,
Rights and rules united, in privacy’s pact.
Amazing stuff, Mike!
The great Scottish bard has competition it’s a Mechanical McDonagall!
Electronical McGonagall.
The UN Convention on Human Rights
Oh, gather ’round, dear souls, and lend an ear,
For a tale of rights and justice you shall hear,
Of a noble pact signed by many a nation,
The UN Convention on Human Rights’ foundation!
In nineteen and forty-eight, a grand decree,
Crafted in Paris, for all the world to see,
A covenant of values, so fair and just,
To safeguard dignity, in whom we trust.
Article one, a beacon so bright,
Proclaims that all are born with equal light,
Endowed with reason and conscience, they stand,
No matter the race, in any land.
Ah, article five, a treasure to behold,
“No one shall suffer torture,” it boldly told,
No cruel treatment, no unjust pain,
A world united against such bane.
The right to speak, to share your thought,
Article nineteen, a freedom sought,
Expression unchained, ideas set free,
A cornerstone of true liberty.
So, here’s to the Convention, a beacon so true,
Championing rights for me and for you,
Let justice prevail, let freedoms ring,
In the spirit of McGonagall, let us all sing!
Very nice try, Mike.
But that illustrious Caledonian bard could never write anything that good. His charm is that he always came horribly unstuck.
Yes, I thought that. Far too good for an actual McGonagall.