Shocking commercial betrayal of the grass roots principles of the fest, or the usual ‘biggest act we can get’ story? Couldn’t give a tupenny one myself, but that’s just me, and I’m kinda drunk right now (reaches for one of the two glasses he can see, misses, and wonders if it might be time for bed).
Adele for the Top Spot at Glasto
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Yeah the sell out bastards, bring back the days when Level 42 could headline & Simply Red supported them
http://www.ukrockfestivals.com/glasto-advert-1986.jpg
Oi! I’ll have you know Level 42 headlined one of the nights at Cropredy the other year. It was the main reason we didn’t go (though Simply Red would have been another good reason.)
Headliners the first year I went – Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine and the godawful ‘Stay’ hitmakers Shakespears Sister.
Imagine the great rock festivals of the 60s and 70s: Woodstock, Altamont, Isle Of Wight, Monterey, Newport etc
Now imagine those festivals headlined by Cliff Richard, The Tremeloes, Vanity Fare, The New Seekers, Edison Lighthouse, The Osmonds, Englebert Humperdinck, Helen Reddy, Bread or any of the other big-selling chart acts of the day.
Fast forward 40 years and that’s exactly what Glastonbury has become.
“Fank you Glastobury, fank you very march…”
GlasTONbury…
Oh, my gawd. It’s bleedin’ big here, innit? I’ve never seen so many bleedin’ people.
Actual quotes from Adele from last year:
“The crowds are too big – I don’t know if I could do it.”
“I went this year to watch Kanye [West] and I literally just crapped my pants on the size of the audience. It was pretty insane.”
Editor’s Note: She literally didn’t…
From this and her recent opening night comments, will the Glasto set contain a scat interlude?
To be fair, Glastonbury reflects the times it exists in. It has a much broader audience, festivals are no longer the preserve of hippies and hairy blokes eating lentil curry out of tins and their bored girlfriends waiting for Uriah Heep to come on… and unlike the festivals of old you mention it’s not specifically a *Rock* festival, it tries to be all things to all people – and for all it’s faults it does represent a pretty broad spread of music across it’s billion of stages and fields – Ozric Tentacles will be on somewhere and while Adele is on, and half a mile from the pyramid stage there will be a load of people in a Yurt dancing to a cement mixer.
” … there will be a load of people in a Yurt dancing to a cement mixer … ”
I’ve read this several times and laughed on each occasion – well done. I will read it again tomorrow to laugh anew.
My pleasure, cheers Peanuts.
In reply – Here’s a man laughing a lot about Peanuts:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMPJZ4YZnqI
I think it’s the iPhone charging posts and the hair-straightener tents that somehow convince me it’s more of a mainstream event these days.
That and the abandonment of countless thousands of pounds worth of camping gear bought just for the weekend. “I can’t be arsed carrying it back to the car. And anyway, it’s all muddy now”
Is exactly the right answer. Have a massive up.
ffs! This is in reply to Johnny’s initial post, 9 posts up.
Adele – she’s Elton in drag, right?
Adele has an engaging stage presence, a few good songs, a great voice and a massive audience. “Glasto” left behind its “grass roots principles” long ago when it stopped being the Pilton Festival and became a middle class weekend away with the kids in a camper van (and became known as “Glasto”).
Tom Jones has played there hasn’t he, and Dolly Parton? Tony Bennett? So why not Adele?
Obviously I’m personally not in favour of any of this selling out to The Man stuff and think that The Pink Fairies should headline all three nights. I was at Bath ’69 you know.
With Hawkwind and Quintessence playing free on the back of a flatbed track outside the entrance.
Re Pink Fairies: on the back of a flatbed truck, obviously. Just outside the main gates. But, headlining and sticking it to The Man.
I stood behind a young chap at the Leeds / Reading festival in Leeds a few years ago having abandoned my 16 year old son and his pals to the delights of The Limp Biscuit and others whilst I searched for music in the tents. The aforesaid young chap wore a tee shirt encouraging us to “Fuck The System”. He was queuing for a burger van.
Be fair, he’s gonna need his daily input of saturated fats and complex carbohydrates if he’s going to make of good job of it.
Why do you care?
Look on the bright side, Cilla is unavailable this year.
Why not? To many people Glasto’s just another telly programme, innit? Better than Jools bloody Holland.
My thoughts as well – she’ll look good on the telly.
I’ll be at the festival. If I’m not on shift and there’s nothing else I’d rather see, I’ll be interested to see how she goes down with the crowd (very well, I’d guess).
I hope she has a couple of drinks, like she did at the Brits.
Friend of mine saw her at the O2 last week. Said she was excellent but clearly had a few glasses from the medicinal sherry bottle.
Regaling the crowd like a young Delia Smith
Don’t give anyone any ideas ! Next thing you know, it’s Jools addding boogie woogie piano to Rollin in the Deep.
Unisex Hairdresser Salonzak.
Which tent are they in?
I’ll be able to blag a pass for this year again, but am undecided whether to go or not. The downside is that I’ll have to be nice to my sister for the next four months in order to borrow her campervan and it’s a bit of a trail down there.
The majority of attenders don’t give a monkey’s who’s on. If you don’t like who is on the main stage, there’s dozens of others, so I wish people would stop bellyaching.
“…stop bellyaching.”
Exactly!
A soulless overly commercialised travesty of what once was.
Never been, mind.
I don’t do chemical toilets and dogs on string.
I think you’ll find doing dogs (on or off string) is illegal, Rob 🙂
(The law’s position on chemical toilets is unclear.)
The law on chemical toilets is perfectly clear, one at a time and flush before AND after use,
You forgot: Do not push over when occupied.
The best we could manage at the Isle Of Wight was a long trench with a wooden plank to sit on and a sheet of tarpaulin to hide your modesty.
Kids today…. etc
No dogs, on strings or anything else, thank God, since the (chortle) “Peace Convoy” royally fucked things up for everyone and steered poor old Michael Eavis – in desperation to keep the momentum up – back towards the mainstream and away from the forces of chaos that had ruled the place since the beginning. Which was a huge shame.
A few years later and the forces of chaos reared their head again, but this time in the form of fleets of hired Transit vans full of likely lads and scallies down for a weekend’s robbing, which in turn prompted the Pilton Wall; even higher and harder to scale than the Berlin model.
It’s difficult to see how the early free-wheeling approach could possibly have survived the waves of E’d up unwashed rave morons unable to observe a curfew through sheer selfish stupidity, rampaging moral compass-less gangs of knife wielding crims, and in the background the slow, inevitable grinding onslaught of Health And Safety and Market Forces that has seen the often locally based small-scale food stalls and bric-brac vendors pushed out by the hordes of corporate stalls for whom Glastonbury is just another date on the calendar that includes Cheltenham, Silverstone, Womad, Badminton and plenty of other places where you certainly can’t stroll about bolloxed on mushrooms and blow. Which you can easily manage at Glastonbury.
For all the superior, sneery “it’s got too commercial; where’s the hippy spirit?” nonsense, there’s no denying that Glastonbury is STILL the Grandmother and Grandfather of good times, and Adele headlining makes not an ounce of difference; it will be a stonking, life-affirming weekend for anyone who retains the ability to just fucking enjoy themselves.
Splitter !
Good summary of the last couple of decades. It’s a very different festival now from the last time I went over the fence in 1994, but if I was going this summer I bet I’d still have a whale of a time.
Its one of the wonders of the world that the biggest name in festivals is not yet in beholden to “hordes of corporate stalls”, in the marketplace they have a stall where the local Rugby Club makes food & they turned down PieMinister, who had been there for years, for getting too big last year, but still you can go to either of the Bestivals & they have Nandos, Pizza Express, Wagamama whilst making a big thing of the festivals supposed ‘local farming community roots’.
I’ll just copy+paste the rote answer from every other year:
“Blah blah, main stage, blah blah, other stages, blah blah, 100s of other acts, blah blah, doesn’t matter who’s headlining the pyramid stage”
I, for one, am looking forward to it.
It’s now mainly for idiots who buy a maximum of two or three CDs a year, probably Adele, Sam fucking Smith or Sheeran. Wankers who think sitting on someone’s shoulders and waving their arms to Lionel Ritchie or the Wurzels is coolly ironic. Tiresome arseholes who can twitter on incessantly (verbally and on line) for the six months leading up to the event that their “going to Glasto”. This opinion is valid and true, because I have to work with these very same knobs every day.
Have a pakora.
And that’s a big “yes” from me.
God, imagine that! Not buying lots of CDs! What a bunch of WANKERS. Not like us, eh? (Because as this thread proves, being really really into music is *definite* proof against being a cunt.)
Never understood why people give a fuck what other people do with their weekend.
What are “CDs”?
A bit like LPs, except the needle doesn’t stay on as well.
Well said @disappointmentbob. Any minute now someone’s going to make a reference to “civilians” like a wanky actor would do…
People who pay a bloody fortune to go to a music festival can’t possibly like music. They go for…. er… the lights. Or something.
People enjoying themselves! To the WRONG THINGS!
MONSTERS!
In my day it were a different kind of knobhead.
There were the ones who sat around campfires smoking themselves so insensible that they never actually managed to catch any of the bands who were performing.
Or the other ones getting completely wrecked on dodgy scrumpy and ending up passed out in the piss-ditch with sunstroke and later getting their stomachs pumped in the St Johns Ambulance tent.
‘Appy days!
What we all want to know is – what will Pencilsqueezer be wearing? A psychedelic onesie teamed with punky biker jacket and classic DMs? Stretch kaftan in tropical print and iconic green wellies? Day-Glo thong, GPS butt plug and nipple clips?
A multi – coloured nylon afro wig, summer woad, nail polish and a winning smile.
Won’t that lot itch like crazy under the Chelsea Pensioner uniform ?
Best response to this was in the Grauniad CIF, where some wag observed that Glastonbury is being headlined by an Alison Moyet tribute act.
It’s been an industry event for a LONG time, and better, smaller, hipper, noisier, druggier (etc) events are to be held elsewhere. Up to you which you go to, given the many festivals over the Summer.
The Alison Moyet thing pisses me off. She’s nothing like Alison Moyet in any way except that they’re both bigger than a size 12.
I like Adele and Alison Moyet and can see the similarities. Both names start with ‘A’.
But also, they are kind of torch singers, bringing loads of desolate emotion to their songs (well, the ones I like, anyway).
The size thing doesn’t bother me, except in that it’s good that they both succeeded because they write and sing great songs, not because of what they look like. And their success and confidence push for a wider acceptance of what looks good on the dancefloor.
Have to disagree about Alison Moyet there. Saw her a couple of years back at a Kirsty McColl tribute night and she looked foxier than Mrs Fox on a foxy night out.
Adele is still shite though.
I don’t mind Adele. She sings well and has a great personality. But it’s lightweight pop music that doesn’t really interest me.
What does interest me however is how she became so massive. Back in the 60s/70s, there were a dozen or more female singers who were the equal of Adele. But now there are hardly any. So, being first in field of one equates to huge sales for the Tottenham lass today.
This theory also explains the success of Amy Winehouse.
Add in M**e and C******y, and you get the dullest, most mediocre set of main stage headliners they’ve ever had. At least Kanye was funny…
Clearly you are all mad. Adele and Coldplay are going to be AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…..
…ZING!!!!!!!!!
We have this thread every year now, don’t we?People who’ve not been to Glastonbury in three decades complaining about that the Incredible String Band aren’t headlining.
I’m not an Adele fan, but this is a massive coup for the festival and I’ve no doubt she’ll put on a great show. She’s the most popular musician on the planet, after all.
Monterey, 1967:
“Who this hell has booked Otis Redding? A bloody soul singer? This festival’s gone to the dogs!”
Factual error there Bingo. The most popular musician on the planet this week is Kendrick Lamar. Sorry my mistake. This week it’s Elton John.
But otherwise you are right on the money.
Young, British, female, talented and extremely popular. Ticks all the boxes.
The Danish rock purists grumbled and mumbled into their beards when Roskilde booked Rhianna.
She drew the biggest crowd I have EVER seen at the festival. I wasn’t that bothered to see more than a few songs myself. But it was a joy to see lots of under-20s having the time of their life at a music festival.
When Icona Pop played on the second largest stage, I lurked behind a tree with lots of Danish yummy mummies while their teenage daughters went bonkers with excitement at seeing their idols live.
“… I lurked behind a tree with lots of Danish yummy mummies while their teenage daughters went bonkers with excitement …”
Oh. Dear.
When I came up before the magistrate, she was not very understanding, H.P.
But when I gave you as a character reference, she changed her tune. I got off with three months community service.
Glasto is a huge money-maker for Greenpeace etc. and needs a constant supply of huge names to keep it’s huge audience, both those actually on-site and those watching on TV worldwide.
Adele is a colossal global star who allegedly does a good show and is therefore just what an event of Glasto’s stature needs.
The pop punters will bloody love it. “Music Enthusiasts” like us lot are -not- Glasto’s core audience in this century.
I shan’t be going, of course, no matter who is on (camping at my age? notachance!) but I may even watch her set on’t tellybox if I remember. Why not?
It’s sixteen years since I last pitched up in the Green Fields. I enjoyed each and every one of the times I made it to that there Glastonbury. I’m sure it will be no less enjoyable for many who attend this year regardless of who headlines on the Pyramid Stage. Adele is not to my taste but she undoubtedly makes a great many people very happy which is decidedly preferable to engendering the opposite.
That’s good enough for me.
Look into the eyes………….INTO the eyes…….not around the eyes… Adele is great, and you WILL enjoy her Glastonbury set.
http://i1350.photobucket.com/albums/p773/minibreakfast/DSCN0085_zpsqqqzwxha.jpg
And………. you’re back in the room.
That otherwise cool shirt is ruined for me by the “(Bob Dylan)” tag at the end of the quote. Like we need it?
I suppose they have to cater for CIVILIANS though.
Um, here’s a thought. How long has Glastonbury been on the telly? And how long has it been crap? Cropredy is on the telly too these days. It’s crap now too.
Glastonbury. Thank for reminding me.
Days/Clumps of days to avoid like the plague.
2016 – Already (thank the Lord) Completely Avoided…..Cheltenham, St. Patrick’s Day.
2016 – To be avoided…..Glastonbury (cheers), Record ‘Store’ Day.
Any more?
It’s not Monterey. It’s not Woodstock. It’s not even Glastonbury anymore. So let it go.
Erm – I’m pretty sure the Glastonbury festival is ‘the Glastonbury festival’? Did I miss a memo?
Perhaps you missed the irony.
Inescapably whirling as I am in a vortex of self-indulgence, I’m just gutted that it isn’t the Roses.
On the other hand, given that isn’t, I won’t have to blow any roadies to get to see it, so swings and roundabouts….
Given that IT isn’t ..,,,
I find that every year when I go to a festival (or two) some of the best moments happens when I watch acts that I wasn’t very interested in beforehand.
So I’ve stopped dismissing any artists in advance – a lesson I’ve learned after showing up for the final ten minutes of a festival gig and loving what I’ve heard…you just never know when that live magic is going to show up and slap you in the face.
*thwack!*
(©minibreakfastcorp)
Mini looks a lot better in that dominatrix outfit than you do though.
Especially since she attached that Adele sleeve to the gimp-mask with bulldog clips.