Gents, if you’ve had one you’ll know exactly what I mean. Not the best way to start a Friday, but mercifully brief and thankfully clear, although I’ve been worrying about the procedure and the results for the best part of two weeks.
Amongst my trawling of Dr Google, I discovered that tests have been carried out in South Korea that show that music played during the er, probe, is the best way of soothing the furrowed brow of the cystoscopy patient. Which of course got me thinking…..what songs would be most appropriate to this, or indeed any other anxiety inducing situation?
Jackthebiscuit says
I’ve got the pillow biters blues*
*not a real song.
GCU Grey Area says
You have my sympathy; have had its close cousin Flexible Sygmoidoscopy (three more from them later), and two colonoscopies.
Boneshaker says
Respect.
GCU Grey Area says
Pfft. Uncomfortable and undignified, but hardly in the same league as giving birth. Glad all’s gone well. The wait for results after scans, blood tests et al is bloody awful.
NigelT says
The biopsy procedure on the old prostate is interesting…sounds like a loud staple gun and pretty much feels like one up the jacksy. No wonder a nurse was sat at my talking end. Had to be done, and thank goodness it was as it showed I had cancer…worse things happen at sea…apparently.
These things have to be done….! After I woke up after the prostate op I wondered how they got the damn catheter up there, but thankfully was asleep at the time.
bobness says
Ive had two of those. I wouldn’t file them under “ Great days of my life” that’s for sure. Much preferred the MRI even if it did mean lying dead still for 40 minutes.
pawsforthought says
Whilst training as a nurse I say in on a day’s barium enema clinic. The consultant (proctacologist, I assume) revealed during the course of the day that in 25 years of practice he had only ever received one thank you letter! I never say in on a cystoscopy, but I did do a few catherterisations. I reckon I’d go with this song-
Boneshaker says
Good choice – and barium enemas eh? Lots of clenching required there (“could you hang on to it a bit longer Mr Shaker, we need to take a few more pictures….?)
ChrisRand says
I’m not sure it was a thank-you letter, but during a recent colonoscopy, the consultant gastroenterologist and I chatted about what I did for a living, to distract me, and to keep him from getting bored. After I’d told him, he asked: “Does that mean you can get me to number one on Google for ‘consultant gastroenterologist’ locally?” So that afternoon I sat down and wrote him the sort of plan I’d usually charge quite a bit for, and sent it to him with a note saying it would have been nicer to have met under more sociable circumstances, etc., and I hoped this would go some way to showing my gratitude for his, er, work. He seemed as surprised as he was pleased.
What got me about the whole procedure was the amazing technology involved. “Do you want to watch it on the screen?”, they asked. I’d probably have said no regardless, but didn’t hesitate to decline once I realised it was on what looked like an IMAX 65-inch UHD setup with Dolby Atmos and for all I know, in-seat motion effects. Keeping my eyes shut tightly for 10 minutes seemed like a better option.
For music I’d have picked Half Man Half Biscuit’s “The Light At The End Of The Tunnel”.
pawsforthought says
Hehehe! Great choice of tune.
fentonsteve says
My first colonoscopy, they didn’t give me quite enough Propofol and I woke up during. Opened my eyes to see a mass of pink cauliflower on the telly.
“Oh, hello! You see those white blobs? You shouldn’t have those!”
Cue outbreak of stoner’s giggling and, thankfully, more shuteye.
thecheshirecat says
“The Only Way is Up”
Yazz and the Plastic Population making a rare Afterword appearance.
mikethep says
I’ll take any number of invasive procedures, especially if profopol is involved (and friends, I’ve had a few…) if it means I don’t have to have any more MRI scans. They freak me out bigly.
Freddy Steady says
I’ve had a colonoscopy and the actual procedure was fine. It was drinking the liquid to clear your bowels out beforehand that was the problem. Absolutely vile.
Twang says
Don’t know what’s involved really….I’m probably glad to say, but hope it goes well Bone. Please post pictures.
Oh! It’s not Facebook! 🤡
chilli ray virus says
I’m a regular flexible cystoscopy-ist – used to be every 3 months, now every 6 months. The specialist gets to choose the music. He’s a bit of a Dylan fan. The op is pretty routine, mostly painless (if a bit uncomfortable) and very quick – Im usually wheeled in around “Johnnys in the basement” and wheeled out well before the “vandals took the handles.”
fentonsteve says
Good luck, @Boneshaker. The first one is the worst, or rather the waiting is.
ip33 says
As someone who has to catheterise everyday and has had lots of flexible cystoscopy the first one is the worst. Just go to your ‘happy place’ and it will be fine.
ipesky says
Need Sonny Boy Williamson. ‘Checking up on my Baby’ playing loud – stormy days and nights, indeed…
retropath2 says
Checking up through my boaby, surely……
Moose the Mooche says
Oh very good. If also… a bit wince-making.
Mike_H says
The First Cytoscopy Is The Deepest.
dai says
As I have Crohn’s I have had many colonoscopies. Had one one year on Valentine’s Day. It was the only action I was getting on that particular day …
RedLemon says
Had a couple of cystoscopies, in fact thought I was going to get one this morning, but I was spared the indignity.
Not painful, but not fun.