Year: 2018
Director: David Soutar
I don’t suppose that many of the Massive were Brosettes in their youth, which is a shame. Not because of the music, mercifully little of which appears in this jaw-dropping programme, but because it might mean that you have missed out on one of the TV highlights of the year. Fear not, it’s on iPlayer, which is where I saw it during the dire Christmas Day TV schedules after seeing what a stir it was creating on Twitter.
For those of you who have managed to suppress the memory, twin brothers Luke (drums) and Matt (vocals) were the heart of one of the biggest boy bands of the 80s. They went their separate ways, and although they have adapted to the ageing process in very different styles they are of course still twins. To help you tell which is which it might be useful to remember that Matt is the one with the rug. Now they are to reunite for a show at the O2 and the cameras are in tow, presenting documentary footage without narration nor captions, leaving the brothers’ words and actions to tell the story.
These days both live in California. Luke makes his living in movies but still feels the call of home. ‘I’m a London boy … Big Ben … the Embankment … cab drivers’ and keeps himself grounded with some home spun philosophy. ‘Find a place of authenticity as soon as you can, because otherwise you’ll always be the person you created’, muses Swami Luke. Matt is still in music, performing residencies, apparently very successfully, in Vegas casinos. ‘Home is where I’m working’, philosophises Luke, ‘Those four letters H O M E personify the word ‘home’’ reckons Matt.
For all that Matt is the more homely of the two, you can’t help but notice that Luke has his wife in Britain for support during preparation for the show, while Matt seems to be taking on a challenging situation alone, even arriving at the rehearsals after Luke has already bedded in with the band. Matt also seems to be the more fretful brother, staying awake brooding on arguments despite thinking a positive thought as he ties a bandana around his head each night and pulling it down to wear around his neck the next day.
We get a basic introduction to their rise to success, including a run down of proposed names. ‘We had Eppy-Tome [Epitome] which I believe is Latin for abstract’, explains Matt. And some back to their roots stuff when they revisit childhood homes. A particular Joy is Luke, marginally but crucially the smarter of the two, staring at Matt as reminiscence gives way to a rant about health and safety. ‘Can we start a petition? That is the biggest problem in England! You can’t play conkers in England!!’ ‘I can live with that.’
There is a mass of rehearsal footage as well of course, where decades of passive aggression, reflexive swearing and outright hostility meet in squabbles over arrangements (‘You do the arrangements, I’ll be in the other room – just two f*@&ing bars earlier…’) and pyrotechnics (real versus projected ‘it’s not a problem, really’). It’s the Troggs fairy dust tapes, meets Let It Be, meets Tufnell and St Hubbins in a London rehearsal studio. The fallout to that one carries on to the next day as they bicker in the green room of Good Morning Britain, apparently oblivious to the cameras catching every word.
As the day of the gig gets closer the pressure starts to show. ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day.’, says Luke, ‘And f£&# me that’s true … but we don’t have the time that Rome had.’ The crisis in rehearsal is intercut with footage of and reflections on the breakup of Bros, and the point is made that their difficulties are based on a repeating and well rehearsed pattern of pain. Typically it is Luke who sees that the emotion of their mutual, still raw grief for their mother could work to their advantage on stage and finally pull them closer.
Of course the show culminates with the O2 show, where patient fans will eventually be rewarded with an extended clip of their best known When Will I Be Famous?, performed to a rapturous crowd who have waited more than two decades for that moment. Matt reflects that the two men are two worlds colliding, resulting in ‘Destruction and the genesis of a new beginning.’ As you were Luke, as you were.
Might appeal to people who enjoyed:
Spinal Tap, family conflict
Arch Stanton says
This really is the greatest music documentary ever made.
If you haven’t seen it yet run to the iplayer now…
It’s the 21st century’s Spinal Tap.
deramdaze says
Marking the 30th Anniversary of a Top 500 (?) list on Capital Radio declaring Bros to hold numbers one and two!
Obviously that was, even at the time, utterly ridiculous (never, ever, ever, but never, ask the great unwashed to vote on an issue unless you absolutely have to … listening Fatboy?).
However, it’s chastening to know that a 1988 poll would have to be, by a considerable distance, better than its 2018 equivalent.
garyt says
Am I right in thinking the original third member that they sacked, with a £1,000,000 payoff, was the only one to come out the other end with any dough?
Gatz says
Craig ‘Ken’ Logan is not acknowledged during the film, not even when he appears briefly in archive clips.
Arch Stanton says
I believe he became head of Sony music UK!
davebigpicture says
There was a piece, possibly in Q, saying that the twins burnt through loads of cash doing unnecessary, stupid, expensive stuff like giving Rolexes to crew they had offended. Like many before them, they didn’t realise that a) they were paying for every limo, bottle of champagne etc out of their royalties and b) it would all stop abruptly one day.
Black Celebration says
Can’t wait to watch it. I have seen them in interview situations many times and they are fascinating. In the absence of a coherently-themed religion, many people like Matt Goss seem to crave the highlights of spirituality with motivational internal speeches – placing great value on being “true to yourself”. Words like that sound powerful and chest-beatingly authentic but the substance is not there.
He reminds me of The Apprentice candidates and David Brent-types who are everywhere, quoting the Dalai Lama, Winston Churchill and Nelson Mandela and networking with entrepreneurs – i.e. wanting to be at ground level for a start up and then selling it to Google for millions. Again, no substance there, it literally doesn’t matter what it is.
They stray into my professional patch sometimes and they tend to be timewasters. They may have the kernel of a good idea (let ‘s say it’s “free sausages on the bus every Tuesday morning” ) but will have applied absolutely no thought as to what happens next. The expectation is that the idea itself is marketable, others will run with it, and that they will be paid for being brilliant.
The Goss Bros are a bit different has they have musical talent and enough charisma to fill the O2. They have a nice clutch of hit singles to build a show around. Hope it went well but I will watch to find out.
Arthur Cowslip says
You’ve summed up many pertinent issues in that little post there! Love it! I’m now wondering what your professional patch is and why you might be dealing with issue about sausages on buses…..
But I heartily agree with your disdain for these Apprentice-type timewasters. The scourge of the modern western world!
Black Celebration says
My day job involves arranging life insurance, groups of people, usually employees at a workplace. If you insure a group, you don’t normally need medicals and it’s cheaper, easier and quicker than doing it one-at-a-time. Far more interesting than it sounds (honest). This is a real example of what I mean:
The Apprentice David Brent arrived with no chit chat. He outlined a scenario that is a massive opportunity – making me feel special by being involved. A group of like-minded local businesses are to be insured, as a network, with no medical underwriting and at very low rates. In return, we get special access to the network. Call it a “loss leader!” – some of these guys are going to be the next Elon Musk or Richard Branson! Wouldn’t it be super-awesome to have established this connection early on?
As you can imagine, his talk is so beguiling that by now I am frothing at the mouth and straining at the leash to get this going. I ask for more details of the network he has developed. He talks for a minute or two about his motivations for success and goal setting, which is great but not what I asked about (fascinating though it is). I ask again, really politely, for more detail about his network. “Here’s where I am with that…” he doesn’t really have one. Not yet.
I understand that he needs something to offer to get the network going, but he made out at the beginning that he was at the helm of a massive established group of young business leaders and it wasn’t true. Because I am British, he went away feeling like he had absolutely nailed it – but I followed up with questions that I know he can’t answer and I assume I will never hear from him again.
dai says
I watched this and while, yes, there are some comedy scenes that echo Spinal Tap, I found it to be difficult, annoying and even a little moving in places.
Gatz says
I tried to put that over in the review. Although there is no commentary the cut is of course it’s own way of manipulating viewers’ reaction. The lack of extended music footage from their heyday could be a down to rights issues, or a deliberate choice to focus on their adult characters.
I would be curious to know how much approval the Goss brothers had of the final cut, and if they realised how they came out of it.
Arch Stanton says
I belive they were producers (along with James Corden).
Which might explain the lack of Ken or the fact that all but 3 dates on the come back tour were cancelled but this was never mentioned.
Colin H says
Ah, I remember something about those cancelled dates. Wasn’t there some guff put out about it being down to ‘logistical issues’ – which we all interpreted as the logistical issues associated with not enough tickets moving from place A (the box office) to place B (people’s pockets), with associated ‘financial issues’ ensuing.
Black Celebration says
I remember Boy George cancelling Christchurch NZ shows for Culture Club because Christchurch wasn’t ” feeling the love”.
The Good Doctor says
I shall watch with interest. Apparently they announced their comeback as “the biggest reunion in pop history” – booked a nationwide enormodome tour – which was then gradually scaled back to two nights at the O2 due to lack of advertising funds or somesuch.
p.s. Fans of jaw dropping Pop-umentaries featuring resolutely unpleasant characters bickering over nothing- make sure you also watch this if you haven’t seen this ‘WTF’ packed documentary about the time David Van Day mounted a hostile takeover of Bucks Fizz….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2dAMA3R4pA
pawsforthought says
I thought it was a bit sad that they clearly didn’t have the rights to use any of their (well, I assume their) music from 30 years ago. Watching it also made me reflect that you (thankfully) don’t hear their music, even on local radio. What must they have done to annoy the nation so much, considering they sold out Wembley stadium back in their heyday? Even 2 unlimited are played on Heart FM!
Moose the Mooche says
They owe us nothing.
UUHHHH WERRR!
Nothing at all.
Black Type says
I presume you’re used to making that sound quite often, Moose.
Moose the Mooche says
Usually followed by “….Sounds a Bit Rude”
Dave Ross says
I haven’t watched it all yet but fully intend to. The first 20 minutes I did see was jaw dropping enough. Matts quotes and Lukes weariness until he saw his drum kit. What I still can’t work out is just how big Matt has become in Vegas. Apparently the biggest and best since Sinatra? Genuinely fascinating, enthralling and entertaining with more than a hint of The David Brent Movie. I did hear their version of “Silent Night” over Christmas and it is an astonishing thing if just for Matts voice. Great review by the way
mikethep says
It was brilliant. We laughed a lot at the beginning, but it gradually got darker and we started to feel like heels. I ended up admiring them for coming through it all, even though they talked and behaved like absolute twats quite a lot.
Black Celebration says
Same here. Some great tap-esque moments but as they are real people it wasn’t funny in quite the same way. The meltdowns were incoherent bouts of shouting – which is how real people argue with each other – wth the session musicians calmly on their phones, waiting for it to blow over. I guess they see this a lot.
Mike_H says
Session musicians on their phones to whoever got them the booking, to see if they’ve got anything else for them.
I am not a musician but an electrician. When I used to do agency work it sometimes became apparent that a particular booking was in fact a shit-show and the sooner I was out of it the better.
Arthur Cowslip says
There are few things in life more horrific and fascinating than has-been pop stars trying to still milk some meaning out of their lives!
I have every sympathy for them. I can’t imagine the depression it must cause to feel so immortal and on top of the world one minute, and suddenly at the bottom of the heap without any warning at all. It must seriously screw you up. (Yet I’ll still watch this and make jokes about it afterwards).
Uncle Wheaty says
Just watched it.
Not sure I can say I enjoyed it but it was a pleasant diversion from the crap currently on the TV as the rest of the family watch some Avengers movie.
They both seem to have a lot of passive aggressive issues and the drummer one clearly feels inferior.
Off to watch Deadpool 2 now which I am sure will be more fun!
Freddy Steady says
Tuned in yesterday. Quite hard work in places …not sure the lead singer comes out of it that well. Or the drummer . But mainly the lead singer. Though hats off , he’s doing well in Vegas and they both look physically well.
Bartleby says
Thanks for the heads up, I really enjoyed it. Some comedy gold moments – they both seem to exist in the space between Howard Moon, Nigel Tufnel and Alan Partridge:
“the letters H O M E are so important, because they personify the word ‘home'”
“Here is the little, kind of, conversation corner”
“This is one of the loves of my life, Alfie the dog. I got him painted holding a pint of beer”
“Born in London, I have a love of concrete”
“We want to create a show that’s so insane that people go ‘Bros should be on stage'”
“I’m a London boy: Big Ben, the Embankment… cab drivers”
“Chess. Love a game of chess… Long game of chess. Love it”
“It’s not the sort of place where you can’t move the cushions or you can’t just crash and throw everything in the air. As long as, when you leave, you know, make the bed!”
“I remember people saying to me, please don’t leave Britain, please don’t go. I just had to get out of this war zone!”
“One of my songs is called We’re All Kings. It’s all about, if I see a man sweeping the road, he’s a king to me.”
“You get the illusion of real pyros coming down”, “Those are real pyros”, “You just fucked me off dude”
“I feel too capable to be asking permission from anyone” and my favourite:
“We had one toy that we loved more than anything. That was a dart. We didn’t have a dartboard. We used to throw it up in the air. And now you can’t even play conkers in England. And if you do, you’ve got to wear goggles.”
But as funny as I found them, it was hard not to feel a little sorry for them. Despite the therapy-speak, they don’t seem to have properly got over the kicking they got in the UK press back in the day, nor come to terms with their particular experience with huge but fickle fame.
Gatz says
‘He’s a king to me … because I don’t want to seep the road.’
Marwood says
My favourite:
I made a conscious decision because of Stevie Wonder not to be superstitious.
Bartleby says
Damn I missed that one!
fishface says
Why do i feel i know the guitarist in the rehearsal band?
The older guy cradling an acoustic most times.
Gatz says
I thought it might be Robbie MacIntosh at first but the guitarist is credited in a subtitle, and I was wrong.
Mike_H says
Rather embarrassing stuff for the Goss bros. but, having expended all that time, effort and money, I suppose they need some sort of return on their investment, however cringe-making it may be.
Feedback_File says
Just got round to watching this. Not what I was expecting – yes there were odd Jedward like quotes but it was compelling stuff. The arguments in the studio make Let It Be look tame.
If you are not a fan of their music (and I’m sure that can’t apply to many on here!) don’t let that put you off – that’s purely a sideshow to the emotional rollercoaster of the brothers relationship.
Hamlet says
I saw this documentary in the wee small hours of New Year’s Day, after stumbling home from a party.
In fairness to the Goss boys: they relinquished all control over the final edit, and some of the arguments really are brutal. Yes, they clearly aren’t the brightest guys in the world, but when they were talking about their mum dying it was genuinely affecting stuff. In a similar fashion, when Luke (I think) was talking about losing all his possessions and having to get the ring back off his missus, I, perhaps in a minority of one, was quite moved! Nice to see that she didn’t hold it against him, as they’re still together.
Yes, the music is dreadful, but it’s a very good documentary that isn’t quite the nonsense some would have you believe.