Hannah, when she was on here, around this very time of year, used to do an annual check up post, just asking ‘how are you?’
So that’s what this seasonal tribute act is – an invitation to say how the last 12 months have been for you – any peaks or troughs, any personal firsts or new revelations?
I will read attentatively, and though may not respond to all who care to post, will do my best to hold you in the light, as the Quaker expression goes.
I’m always cagey about sharing personal stuff in a public space, but I’ll give you some brief notes:
– Turned 50 this year. A milestone, but not a particularly great one. All I can think of is opportunities missed and time that has gone, sentimental grump that I am.
– My son started the Big School this year, and in a matter of weeks seemed to blossom on maturity and confidence, which is great to see.
– After being diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes a couple of years ago, this was the year I well and truly left the initial Honeymoon Period behind. I’m now injecting insulin at comparatively massive levels that would have shocked me a couple of years ago, so it’s a bit of a change in my head and my approach to the condition.
– I left my job for one which involves working at home full time, with less responsibility, less manic emergencies, less meetings and less office politics. I LOVE it.
– Having been a budding musician for decades, I think this was the year my level of ambition finally lowered enough to match my level of ability. I’m making the music I want to make, which feels unique to me, and I have a small handful of fans who (they say) quite enjoy it. It feels great. When I’m older I can even see myself gigging again, once I get the confidence.
– I used to be a pretty big cinema goer, going at least 40 or 50 times a year and taking great pleasure in whittling down my top ten at the end of the year. Now I barely go at all (think I’ve been about three times). I’ve really drawn a line under that hobby.
– I know one these forums I play up a it to the image of a grump who doesn’t like listening to new music. But the truth is every year there are still about two or three new (to me) musical discoveries that blow me away. This year it’s been The Beach Boys’ Smile Sessions (yes, yes, I know, where have I been…) and the comeback albums of Shirley Collins in her mature years (beautiful stuff).
I am so out of touch with the UK! How old are you when you start Big School?
Your move to a less stressful job sounds like a very good idea.
Sorry to hear you don’t go to the cinema so often, Arthur. With a great local cinema ten minutes walk away (where I’m a volunteer), it’s become my major cultural activity. So many excellent new films!
11 or 12, to answer your question. A pivotal time in life for any youngster! I remember being absolutely terrified and the Big School seemed massive and confusing. To be honest I never really got the hang of it and struggled to fit in the entire time I was there (all together – aw!).
I went from a junior school with 200 kids to a comprehensive with nearly 2000. Suddenly we had to wear uniforms and do homework. Childhood had come to a very abrupt end. I think having to adapt was a good education in itself.
In Scotland, at least at the time, primary education is a year longer than in the rest of Britain. I moved from the last year of primary in Glasgow to the first of secondary in North Wales in the middle of the school year. It was a shock, and not a particularly pleasant one, but I never did grow to like that school. Moving on to a separate sixth form college is when being in an education environment became enjoyable again.
Fine, thanks for asking. Most of the year has involved settling into our new renovated home in the funky northern NSW town of Murwillumbah, known to the locals (who like all Aussies don’t like too many syllables unless they’re adding them to cricketers’ names) as Murbah. What a year ago was all concrete and steel fence (the son of the house was a drug dealer) is now a paradise of native plants inhabited by the birds and the bees. This is thanks to the indefatigable Mrs thep, with significant moral support from me, obviously. It’s promising to be a stinker of a summer, so we’re hoping we won’t be in drought rules…
There was the usual 3 months in Blighty, loving the twins and family, not so sure about everything else. I always promised myself I wouldn’t turn into one of those boring expats moaning about the weather and all, but it seems I lied to myself…
Apart from that, I’m loving being a part of Fiddle Faddle, the local old-time fiddle group I joined last year, thudding away on the bass. Lovely people, I’m making new friends and there are various splinter groups as well. I found myself playing bass and singing backup on You Ain’t Going Nowhere at the Stokers Siding village hall last month. Not exactly Sydney Opera House, but you have to start somewhere.
Fond seasonal wishes to all the Massive, of course.
Great photos, Mike. Thanks! Great to see what Murwillumbah looks like.
Fiddling and Faddling! You’ve got a busy cultural life!
Nice work @Salwarpe. This thread was an excellent idea.
Thank you, KFD. I’m not sure there was much work involved. It is a pleasure to provide a space for AWers to generously share their lives, ups and downs, highs and lows. People live such interesting lives, and it’s kind to offer a glimpse into other perspectives and experiences.
Perhaps not so much the work involved @salwarpe.
But that you had the idea to ask the question! That deserves a small round of applause.
We certainly are getting some very informative, rather moving postings.
Looks good – hope Murbah is south enough to escape the current meteorological woes Queensland is currently undergoing.
Me too! What a horrorshow…
My father died in January, and the effects of that have dominated the year.
Not emotionally – don’t worry about that. He was 99 and the time was bound to come. I am one of the executors, along with my oldest brother. That’s not been as stressful as I feared, just been very very time-consuming. My three brothers all emigrated years ago, but the funeral and the clearing of the family house together has meant that I’ve seen a lot more of family, which has been really good, but has meant less time for other things – not that most normal people would notice. I don’t do normal people’s social lives; I do mine, where I maximise every moment when I’m not on shift.
I have kept myself in check this year by repeating the phrase ‘first world problems’, as that is all I suffer. This was epitomised by EasyJet cancelling three successive flights home. There are worse fates than just having to go out for another meal in Bilbao. Somehow, I even managed to get stranded in Geneva but, being me, I just happen to have friends who have a house looking across the lake to the French Alps who could accommodate me at short notice. As we had breakfast in the garden next morning, an eagle circled about twenty feet above us. I’m not really suffering, am I?
Mum (finally) went into residential care this year. It’s all good. She was really struggling at home and had fallen several times earlier in the year. She had carers coming in 3 times a day but it wasn’t enough. She finally realized that she needed round the clock care. It’s been a great move for her. I know it doesn’t always work out that way but she really loves the place she’s in and the people there are wonderful. The hardest part for us will be in the new year when we have to clear her rented flat.
Work has been more stressful than I can remember. Earlier in the year I had seriously considered quitting but things have settled now. Still very busy but there is some semblance of order.
Life in Ireland continues to be very good to us. I only wish the opportunity had come sooner. My wife is now assistant coach for our sons football team – mostly doing the admin and organizing everything. She’s also now chair of the school PTA. It’s allowed us to get to know so many new people which is great. Our son starts secondary school next September. He’s grown up so much this year. He’s not my little boy any more. I’m finding it both difficult and fascinating adjusting to him becoming a young man.
Culturally we did pretty well this year – Blur, Depeche Mode, The Waterboys, Wilco, Peter Gabriel. Hozier next week in Dublin. We already have Lucinda Williams and Bill Bailey to look forward to next year. Going to Rome in June. I have 3 business trips to the U.S. in March and April so it’s going to be hectic.
Here’s hoping for great things for all you wonderful people. Have a great Christmas and remember, love really is the best.
The interesting concept of the last year at work, of which I have 29 working days left. (Older readers will recall I have done this before, but I mean it this time.) With the clock counting down I have been slowly divesting the chore and responsibility side and tried to do more of what I enjoy, or manipulating what I don’t to what I do. At the same time I have been ramping up my hobbies and pastimes, and am busier in this part time limbo than I ever was when full time working. Well, remembering early years, maybe nearly almost more accurate.
Three festivals this last summer, as I ease myself into becoming ever more prolific a “writer”/ reviewer, with Celtic Connections next month to start next year off with a bang. I don’t get paid in money, it is tickets and discs that make it possible, but I have my pension, for which I am grateful ( and have worked my bollocks off for)
Swimming, wild swimming, is a passion I share with the wife. She gets less good at travel as her Ehler Danlos bites, so it is handy the Lake District, Eryi and the Trossachs are all within a days drive.
Looking a big forward to next year, if remembering not to tell God too many of my plans, she tending to make life more interesting, in the Chinese way, if you hope and invest too much in the future, rather than today.
Ooooh. How long will you be at Celtic Connections? I’ve only done it once, as it really works far better for locals than visitors, given the length of it (and the lack of desire to sleep in a Landrover in Glasgow in January). There’s always so many interesting collaborations going on. I know my beloved Lau have got something up their sleeve.
A week: 28/1 – 4/2, which misses a lot but I have tix (or promises) for King Creosote, Thea Gilmore, Josienne Clarke, NATI, Su-a-Lee, Colin Steele’s Stramash and Lankum. Plus I’ll hit the after hours sessions at the Glee Club and Drygates.
Have I told you about my knee operation? Thirteen months ago it was. Plump up the cushion, draw yourself a cheroot and , if you’ve got six hours or so, I’ll tell you all about it…..
With the death of my father in late January, then my dog Oskar, and then my mother, within the space of less than six weeks, followed a couple of months later by a stroke (clot, not bleed) and a protracted seizure while clearing out Mum’s bungalow, it’s fair to say I didn’t have the best of starts to the year. Going from the fittest person of my age I knew to disabled, literally overnight, was devastating to say the least.
I had to learn, exhaustingly and scarily, how to walk again during my almost seven weeks in hospital in Ipswich – at the beginning, having done five or six metres between parallel bars, I’d have to sit down for a couple of minutes to recover before making the return journey.
Thanks to much hard work from physios and OTs, I gradually recovered much of the use of my left limbs, although worsening of particularly my left leg problems means I’m currently something of a mystery to medical science. My locum oncology consultant doesn’t think it’s down to my brain tumour, while the stroke doctor doubts that the problems are stroke related. Finally I’ll be getting a neurology appointment in early January, so the unravelling of the mystery might at last perhaps begin.
On discharge from hospital in Ipswich I went to my stepmother’s where I received further OT and physio support, staying for almost four months. And now I’m back in Mum’s bungalow in the area where I grew up. With my rollator I can manage a pretty long walk – record so far is 135 minutes, including a couple of steep climbs, the second of which being longer and steeper. Around the house, unsupported by any contraption, I shuffle and lurch like a bad impression of an inebriate Frankenstein’s monster. (My scar’s in the wrong place, for one thing.) I’ve had to give up the tenancy of my council flat in Norwich, as it wouldn’t be safe for me to live at the top of 14 concrete steps, given the risk of a further stroke and/or seizure. Able bodied, allowed to drive Nigel had been quite looking forward to moving to the bungalow, but for disabled, might never drive again me, being two train rides away from where I’d lived for 37 years is a rather different prospect.
Because the brain oncology consultant in Ipswich has resigned, with no replacement as yet in place, I remain under the auspices of the Norfolk and Norwich and Addenbrooke’s hospitals. A neurosurgery registrar at the latter told me disappointingly at the end of July that the site of my problem was “too angry” to consider any intervention for at least a year – there had been talk of my having a stent fitted to help with blood flow where the pesky tumour is pressing on a vein.
All in all, it’s been the shittiest year in this newly anointed pensioner’s life, but it could have been worse – trapped for at least four hours in the bathroom after the stroke (it took at least five and a half before I could drag myself the nine feet to my phone to call an ambulance), dangling, back contorted, side of my face pressed to the floor while undergoing a violent seizure, I thought I was going to die there. And there were fellow patients in the stroke unit who’d lost the ability to speak.
Small mercies, eh?
I have no words Nigel. I think of you often and hope you are despite everything as ok as possible. Hugs man, hugs.
Amen, I was struggling for some way to respond to this that didn’t sound trite Nige and as usual P has found the right words.
I hope for your and everybody’s sakes that at some point the idea of waiting hours and hours for an ambulance becomes de-normalised. As the putative next Health Secretary is already moaning about the NHS asking for money I don’t have much hope.
Rather puts one’s own issues into perspective, Nigel. I hope and pray for a better 2024 for you.
In fairness, Moose, the ambulance was here within about half an hour of my making the call – the delay was down to my difficulty in extricating myself from the bathroom. Thankfully I remembered to tell the call handler that I was in a bungalow and slept with the window open, so the paramedic didn’t have to break in. (It then took him an hour or so to get me into a position where I could be manoeuvred into a chair and out of the house.)
Blimey.
Trying to negotiate a trip to your neck of the woods for the new year, Nigel. Hope it materialises.
To see you and the lovely Sue again would cheer me up no end, Doc!
Should you wish another tripster to see Nigel then I shall gladly accompany you both. @retropath2 @nigelthebald
👍
@nigelthebald
Words fail me.
Glad you’re still here to tell the tale and hope
the coming year will be as wonderful as the
one now ending has been woeful
Nigel the Indomitable! If you were a King from the Dark Ages, historians would be in awe of your courage, commitment, humour and tenacity @nigelthebald.
I wish you all the best for 2024.
Incidentally, I must comment on how much I’ve enjoyed having you as a Friend on Facebook over the past few years (ever since the Great Afterword Crash in fact).
Witty comments. Canine tales. Norfolk photos. Political commitment. You’ve brightened my day many a time. Thanks a lot!
Thank you, @Kaisfatdad!
I feel it’s only right that I should point out that I’ve felt distinctly domitted (sic) on multiple occasions this personal annus horribilis.
And sadly no more Norfolk or canine photos except in memories, while Suffolk photos will be limited in scope mostly to memories, given the inconvenience of wielding camera and rollator at the same time.
That must be so depressing @nigelthebald.
But this week you have already delighted me with some fantastic dawn photos. So I have a small flicker of hope that you’ll find a way to take a few Suffolk photos in the long run.
❤️
Let me echo KFD’s words and add that you will find a way to take photographs even with your rollator.
All the best.
Holy shit, that’s a post that puts in all in perspective.
I am so sorry you went through all of that, Nigel. Life is a proper fucker sometimes.
So sorry Nigel. How awful what some have to go through.
Jings, Nigel, what a fucking awful year! Every best wish for a better 2024, and it sounds like it couldn’t be much worse.
I spent yesterday evening on a Teams call with a bunch of widespread pals. One of our number needed support as he has been diagnosed with prostate cancer and will be operated on in the new year (caught early, prognosis as good as it can be). Along with lots of laughs we shared the burden of our medical and family traumas and I’m sure we all came away feeling the load lightened at least temporarily.
Be present for your friends when they need you and be grateful if it’s not you at any given time. 🙏
You are a truly remarkable person, Nigel. To endure all that in a year, but persevere through and (what seems like) will yourself back to some form of mobility and then look at the bright side – at least I’m not dead…
Your spirit is amazing. And thanks for all the anti-gov/anti-Brexit posts and frozen shed roof pictures on FB – they brighten up many a morning when I start up my laptop of a morning.
You provoked a bit of a tearful moment when I read that earlier, Sal. (I’m just stubborn rather than remarkable.) And it’s sad that I’m unlikely ever to see #shedpond ever again…
Nigel, that’s absolutely awful. I have no words.
If it’s not too morbid or insensitive a question, what does it feel like when you are trying to learn to walk again? Is it physical tiredness, like having no strength in your legs? Or is it more like your brain trying to instruct your legs but they aren’t listening, something like that?
Both, Arthur!
How awful, Nigel. I’m really sorry to hear all that and hope your recovery’s speed and thoroughness becomes just as much of a medical mystery as your current problems. Bless you.
An unimaginable nightmare of a year for you Nigel. However, it is coming to an end and you are making progress. You should be very proud of yourself.The
Best wishes to you. I do hope next year is a great deal better.
I don’t know you Nigel, but echo all that everyone has said above. I know, from a less serious challenge to my health last year and the responses from several on here, that the kindness of strangers means a lot. So love and strength to you – I hope you continue to get better and the next twelve months are better than the last. X
Nigel, I’m very happy that you’re made out of such strong material and refused to accept that it was time to leave – let’s hope that 2024 is a year for recovery and medical problem solving!
As others have said, your story definitely makes me think twice about whining about my relatively tiny problems!
Wishing you only good things ahead, keep fighting!
yikes, hard to imagine a tougher year. I wish you an infinitely better 2024
Echoed. I hope you continue to get stronger throughout 2024. All the best to you, sir.
What everybody else said. All the best
I’ve toyed with posting on this thread about the frustration of trying to get some progress underway on fixing my arthritic hip but our mutual friend Nigel’s situation has rather put my problems into perspective.
I’ve been trying to figure out how I can negotiate the steep flight of steps I need to traverse to reach the street outside so I can walk to the bus stop and travel to my nearest post office so I can put some credit on my gas and electricity meters. It is a painful process at the present time and I try to avoid going out because of the repercussions from doing so. My world has shrunk from small to smaller as the months have passed but frankly after reading the full extent of Nigel’s travails then bugger it. I shall suck the pain up and give it a go this coming week.
As for the year’s events the most fun I’ve enjoyed has been the all too little time spent with good friends from this very place and the occasional evening in the company of a few family members.
I haven’t been able to properly paint for a few months due to my hip as I stand at an easel to work so it’s been lots of sketchbook action but I intend getting back to “proper” work in the new year whether it hurts or not. I can’t abide not painting. It’s a necessity for me even if everyone else quite sensibly couldn’t care less.
I’m so pleased you are planning on painting again. Are you going to change your style to adapt to the circumstances? I dunno, quicker, broader strokes with less detail and fewer shades of colour?
Ta. It’s enormously helpful to know someone cares apart from me.
I don’t know how my work will or won’t evolve. I will continue working with the ideas about landscape/elements and memory that have become the engine of my work. I have a piece that I had to abandon when my hip became too painful to tolerate when standing for prolonged periods so I’m planning on working that up to completion first and I’ll see what transpires from there. I imagine I’m going to have to work in shorter bursts of activity which will slow me down but until I try I don’t really know how feasible any of it will or won’t be. If I can get a few pieces made during the coming year that I am vaguely satisfied with without it causing me too much pain then I’ll settle for that.
I’m definitely looking forward to seeing whatever you come up with.
I’m doing just fine, thank you for asking. Aware as in all things that this too shall pass, so just trying to appreciate the ride as it goes by. This is the last calendar year of my eldest girl living at home: she’s got four uni offers under her belt and just had an Oxbridge interview, so one way or another she’s off next year. That’s sobering: not sure how I’ll handle not getting to see her every day, hang out and be the trademarked daft old softy that is my fatherhood persona. Like I say: just got to enjoy the ride. The girls are the best thing I’ve ever been a part of, or ever will be, and every second with them is a miracle.
On the other major life tentpoles: health is good, relationship is as close to perfect as anyone can ask for, and I’ve made some decisions to ramp up the career if possible, just to try and get a bit of relative pension comfort in place while I can; we’ll see. By any measure I’m the most fortunate of men, and really the work of life is to make sure I notice and appreciate it as it flows past.
Wishing all of you a merry Christmas and a vastly improved 2024, from whatever base.
Howdy, as I type it is day 14 of pretty much bedridden with asthma. It all starts with a humble cold Mrs Wells brings home from the grandkids. I have been hit pretty hard a few times plus she gave me Covid so this is a worry. I am 66 with a poor immune system and she is 55 and fit.
I’ve had this since childhood but each year the fight gets harder. Its also disruptive – the endless coughing gets on everyone’s tits and you get sleep deprived. 2 hours a day max. And of course the cortisone doesnt help so that is when you get me overposting more than usual. Nuthin else to do between coughing fits at 4 am. But I am improving so should be ok for Christmas.
We are building a house down the coast , Inverloch, best part of 2 hours drive from Melbourne , southern tip of Oz mainland. The house will get this retiree back in a garden instead of a rented apartment, pristine air , the records out of storage and plenty of room to isolate which I think I will have to start doing. Exciting times but I have never lived in the country, and you know, things change, so there is some anxiety about it all.
I saw plenty of bands sans mask which was foolhardy in hindsight, there will be less of that I guess.
Sorry for overposting but its kept me going in a difficult year.
Posting has been fine. Nothing to apologise for. Hope you get well soon.
What on earth makes you think you’re over-posting, Junior?
When you see 3 new posts in a row and they all have your name maybe.
Dont worry about it. It’s 1.45 am here and I’m a bit ga ga.
All good.
I wouldn’t worry about that Junior, those of us in the more exotic time zones are often posting several comments in a row while the rest sleep.
Southern Gippsland. It’s a lovely bit of Australia. I get what you’re saying about a change of environment; it will be a wrench, but certainly for the best. I wish you well.
I can reveal that Junior has a new man shed.
So much of the year has been accompanied by images of war and the slaughter of innocent lives. I now feel a degree of numbness towards it, it’s been so consistent. But looking back on the year, that’s what seems to colour it most. The future, both on a global and a personal level, is far too scary to contemplate, but other than that everything’s pretty dandy so far.
Dark forces are on the rise. I am an overthinker, troubled by thoughts of war and social breakdown, climate change and all that entails. I have to remember the here and now for me is fine, OK. I am lucky, with the life I live. Be here now. Overthinking is a bummer though. Of course there are causes for concern but you can’t let that take over your thoughts. Don’t worry be happy. My mental health is good now but it wasn’t always so, the drugs do work. It’s troubling to consider the way the world is headed, well it’s already arrived. It was always the case that awful things were happening out there but now it feels different. Before there was always the sense of progress. Now it feels like we are heading backwards towards ignorance and brutality. I have to remind myself that so far efter 61 years it’s gone alright for me. Actually it’s better than ever. A good life,work and relationships going well.
May I join the chorus of support for you, Nigel, and say as others already have that your troubles certainly do put my own into perspective – which I accept must seem like more of a comfort to me than it does to you.
I’ve had bit of a wobbly year by my usually stolid standards. I gave up my job in May, on my own terms but only just, bringing to an end 38 years of continuous full time employment. The transition to pre-tirement part-time consultancy went smoothly enough but the implications of the change plus some emerging physical frailties and the collapse of my always-slim hopes of an NYC run of my play (and with it my delusions of theatrical fame), sent me into a mental health place where I’ve never been before. It’s kind of strange to finally visit the depths I’ve heard so much about, and perhaps in common with other middle-aged middle-class plodders coming to depression for the first time, it brought with it a side order of guilt and shame. Anyway – I started talking to a chap once a week, did some mental tidying, blessing-counting and jolly-good-talking-to- ing and climbed back out of there. For now…
During all that life took me to Mexico, Austria, Greece, Spain, Turkey, Lithuania, Estonia, Malaysia and Thailand, so I can hardly complain, can I, and right I’m now sitting on the banks of the Mekon looking across at what I imagine is HP Saucecraft’s house. You should see the state of his bins.
Well done Chiz on all fronts. Re HPs bins that triggered a coughing fit !
🤣
@Chiz , can i ask what sort of work takes you to such wonderful locations?
Conferences mainly, plus some holiday and the first of several contemporaries’ 60th birthday parties
👍
@chiz I’m sorry and surprised to read that your play wasn’t taken to NYC. Sorry for the people who are missing out on something special, surprised because – speaking as one of millions of fans of Hamlet – I found your play every bit as compelling, witty and intelligent as Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead and far more interesting and entertaining than Ian McEwan’s Hamlet-themed novel Nutshell. I find it hard to believe there’s not a much wider audience for it.
Thank you Gary! It’s all about money and risk in the end, and I couldn’t find anyone with the former who was prepared to take the latter. No doubt there will be a village hall tour of the Home Counties at some point.
Wow! You’ve actually seen HP’s Bins! Think of the hundreds who have that on their Bucket List.
I second what Gary said! I am very sorry to hear that your hopes were so disappointingly crushed. For all the talented people that get a lucky break, there are equally talented people who just don’t have the same luck.
I keep my fingers crossed that your “village hall tour of the Home Counties” gets seen by one of those celebrities who can fix a move to the West End,
Sorry! I’m probably being vastly insensitive, but it often feels that if an aspiring talent can just get support from some high profile name doors start to open.
Best of luck for 2024! Fingers crossed or a few more lucky breaks!
I’m sorry to hear you’ve had a tough year, @chiz. May 2024 be much lighter.
Thank you Bob 🙏 It will be
I feel very lucky compared to some people above, and people generally I guess. Started the year in a new teaching job after a prolonged period off work because of a sudden health scare and the enforced removal of a few organs. Cliched as this may be, it caused a complete re-evaluation of what matters and I view every day as a bit of a bonus now. I’ve not been as happy in years and reduced alcohol consumption means I’m feeling healthier than for many years too.
So all good – thanks for asking.
I have in the past posted here about my war of attrition with my eco-vandal neighbours (“EVNs”). For anyone still interested, there follows a brief overview of what has been happening. I hope you will forgive me for being deliberately vague about actual names, dates and locations as the matter is now heading to court and I do not want to post anything that may derail whatever progress I’ve managed to make.
Anyway here goes…
When my uncle “Pat”, a passionate environmentalist, who I was very fond of, died during the first lockdown he left my sister and me six acres of beautiful riverfront land in a government designated environmental Special Protection Area (“SPA”). Despite my making it clear that I would never sell the property and everyone in the family was welcome to visit and enjoy it, around half of my eight cousins were not at all happy. Goaded on by the EVNs, they have effectively ostracized Belle and I ever since. To this day, this set of rellos pointedly does not invit us to family events such as weddings and memorial masses (a big deal in Ireland).
Having “befriended” my uncle during the last 10 years of his life, I think it highly likely the entitled Z-List celeb and her oleaginous husband tried pressuring “Pat” into selling them the whole farm. A couple of years before he died, the old boy caved in and effectively gifted them a slice of equally beautiful land next door at a price well below its true market value.
Believing they had more right to a rundown (no toilet or bathroom) cottage and land where my Dad had been born 100 years before, they set about making my life a misery the moment I took possession. At one point this awful woman dismissively told me that my only emotional attachment to a property where I had spent the happiest days of my childhood was that I “had just inherited it”.
Convinced they could do what they liked to their bit of land, the gruesome twosome embarked on the kind of environmentally ruinous development that would have had my uncle turning cartwheels in his grave.
Aside from building two huge sheds on their own land with no planning permission, the despicable duo effectively claimed squatters’ rights in my uncle’s workshop. They also took all of his tools – some of which had belonged to my great grandfather and none of which were of any possible use to them.
Far more seriously, the pair constructed an uninsured jetty on my uncle’s SPA-protected shoreline. Had I not found out about this particular addition to their burgeoning property portfolio, it would have caused huge legal problems for me and my sister were anyone using it to have an accident. What makes the latter act especially despicable is that it was carried out when “Pat” lay dying and everyone else was refraining from visiting the farm because of pandemic restrictions.
Having suffered enough of their aggression, I finally dobbed them into the local council and various other relevant official bodies for breaches of planning regulations and various other laws. Several rounds of appeals and delays later, the council are finally taking them to court for ignoring enforcement orders mandating they remove their structures and make good the environmental damage they have caused. Since Irish planning legislation is absurdly weighted in favour of large-scale offenders, it may be some time before justice is done.
While it has been an incredibly tough three and a half years – it is not nice being called a “cunt” in a pub by a second cousin you have met twice in your life, I am here for the long haul. The fact that the EVNs hardly ever visit the property now would seem to indicate a definite turning of the tide in my favour. Either way, I am not going to rest until their structures are torn down and they are sent packing. As I cannot afford to rebuild my late uncle’s house, my long-term plans for the property are to donate it to an environmental charity.
Extremely draining I’m sure Jaygee. But you are fighting the good fight.
Cheers for the encouraging words, JW. Loads more I could post about these loathsome people but sometimes the less said, the better
It’s been a slightly strange, intense year. I’ve been writing up my part-time doctorate and got completely absorbed by it. Now that it’s submitted, I feel a huge weight lifted – until the viva anyway.
`The heart of my thesis is a series of interviews on childhood experiences of disability. Which are, I think, marvellous.
However in the course of writing up the background literature, I discovered that, from the late 1960s and through the 1970s, babies born with a disability were selectively killed. It sounds incredible I know – what sort of a country would allow something like that to happen? This one, the UK. It’s all there in plain sight, in the medical journals. The government was made aware, nothing was done – no-one was rapped on the knuckles, let alone charged.
I’ll never look at the medical profession, or the good old NHS, in the same way again.
Not all disabilities, one suspects, but likely those “deemed” (I know!) to have no chance beyond a very limited span. I don’t condone it, but I get it. When I did paediatrics I worked for two elderly spinster consultants who ran the child development centres: where those poor kids destined to never get beyond infancy were seen and reviewed. Many of those were the 24-30 weekers, born so prematurely that survival was usually only gifted with major and life-limiting problems. These two doughty individuals were seen as defeatist, as they wouldn’t fight so many tooths and nails to keep these scraps breathing, knowing only too well the pain each gained year of life might give the parents. As I am sure your research has shown, sometimes it is more complicated than mere eugenics.
I think it was a combination of eugenics, money and at least one very strange individual. My specific interest is in spina bifida, which is, of course, immediately apparent at birth in a way that many other disabilities are not. In Sheffield – a big centre for SB at the time – one third of babies with SB were selected for surgery and two thirds selected for death. The issue wasn’t that they would have died soon anyway, so why postpone it. The issue was that they would have grown up with a disability and therefore a life not worth living (in the opinion of those in charge). Most centres adopted a version of the Sheffield model. Other centres eg Cambridgeshire operated on all babies born with SB.
It’s worth noting that Lucy Letby will spend the rest of her life in jail for being found guilty of killing 7 neonates. The man in charge at Sheffield was responsible for at least an order of magnitude more. There’s an annual award in his name. This tells us something about the value that society puts on the lives of those with a disability. Frankly, it’s not good.
A mixed bag of a year.
The highs – we traveled. Darwin, New Zealand (twice for her), The Maldives, UK, USA. We really enjoy where we live, so getting a 2 year extension that would allow us to contemplate retirement was excellent. My son is well, very happy at University, doing well, and 14 months into a relationship to a nice girl. The rest of our families are all doing well, even if Dad gave himself a black eye opening a bottle of wine.
The not -so-highs – the brain thing. Even at my best I’m not the same person I was; at my worst, I’m a walking wreck. Sharon has picked up a lot of the burden, planning every trip and ensuring I get through the trip OK, which is often a bit of a dice roll. My doctor is good, but progress is very very slow, if at all. It’s probably the only significant low in my life, but it’s a sizeable one.
Musically it’s been a quiet year, with a late end of year burst fuelled by Apple Music. Cinematically, it was Indiana Jones and Oppenheimer on the big screen, and sundry others, including Barbie, on smaller screens.
So, I’m taking things a day at a time, which is in general a good way to approach life.
Keep on keeping on, Si. Living in the moment, taking each day as it comes is what we should all do.
As I write, it’s 18 December.
Friday, 29 December 2023 will be my last day of employment.
After that, I pass over to the other side, with the vast, unknowable hinterlands of retirement stretching before me.
It’s all rather scary.
What on earth am I going to do…?
@duco01
Enjoy your retirement, d.
The first thing you’re going to do is have a lot less time on your hands
than you thought…
Enjoy your retirement!
Yeah … you’re probably right. You expect to have tons of time to hang around with nothing to do, but … it doesn’t quite work out like that…
Next year you’ll have time for the @Duco01 top 500, think of that!!
Hilarious! That is so true @retropath2!
@DuCo01 has nobly taken on the task of making the primary suggestions for our book circle. A task at which he excels.
However, rather than the slim novellas we’ve had recently, I suspect the next list will contain several chunky 500 page epics,
That’s right. “A Suitable Boy” by Vikram Seth is going on the next book circle shortlist!
Infinite Jest, surely?
Thanks for asking. It’s all been generally pretty good this end- Mini Paws’ school experience has been better since she moved class. There was a fair bit of bullying in the first and second term of secondary school, but the school moved her to a class where she has friends and things have (on the whole) been better since. She’s still ‘out and proud’ which I suspect confuses or annoys some of the other kids (hence the bullying) but she seems pretty happy in her own skin.
We’d generally accepted that holidays were never going to be any better than a ‘6 out of 10’ having to drag an unwilling 12 year old with us, but our two music festivals this summer felt great. We all seemed to enjoy them, aided a little by a more relaxed approach from me. I hardly saw any bands/artists (about 13 over the weekend) but this seemed to work for everyone. I also found out that wearing a beard made of gaffer team stops my daughter from being in a bad mood (and puts a smile on the face of those you walk past).
Not much else to report- approaching our 15th wedding anniversary in the new year (how the hell did we get there?!), things are ticking along. Even work’s fairly tolerable at the moment.
I wish you all a happy Christmas and a pleasant new year. A bit early in the day for a toast, but’s here’s to the Afterword massive.
An odd year. It started with an 9 and a half hour wait in A+E on New Year’s day after copiously bleeding over the bedroom floor when an abcess burst in a place where you don’t want a abcess.
Then followed 9 months of operations, treatments and 25 courses of antibiotics before I returned to Royal Mail in October. And touch wood I’ve been fine since then.
In the middle of that my wife became ill and had an op in May. And she’s fine now, thank god.
My mother in law is in her care home and she’s had a couple of hospital stays. The dementia has really hit home this year and she doesn’t really know either of us most of the time. But it is what it is.
Work is fairly tough, Royal Mail under the cosh with daily stories about how terrible we are, which is doing wonders for morale! But hopefully things get better next year.
All the best to everyone on here, a merry Christmas and a happy and peaceful New year.
I feel the same at times working for the NHS. Don’t worry, I’m sure most people understand the pressure that you (and your service) are under. That said, I didn’t get many Christmas cards from my patients.
All told it’s been a quiet year. Probate on my other half’s late father’s estate has just cleared and we have some outline plans which could make 2024 a lot more exciting (and stressful) once his house is sold.
I continue to revel in WFH, and being utterly devoid of ambition will be happy to carry on as I am until retirement in a decade or so if I can. Healthwise, unlike many others here, I’ve been golden. I’m 4 years Covid-free, though The Light experienced her first dose earlier in the year and reports that the experience lacked charm.
Sometimes I wish work wasn’t such a big part of life, although I do a lot less post Covid. We took the decision to carry on for another 3 – 5 years, which means signing up for warehouse space again. A bit more space this time but quite a lot more money. Such is life. My joints and feet aren’t really that great but we’ve got a daughter who has just started an animation degree and our pensions aren’t strong enough to just stop yet while our Tory overlords want me to work until either I’m dead or for another 7 or so years, whichever comes first so we continue onwards.
Son finished uni and has a decent first job and is planning on moving in with his girlfriend some time next year. We’ll see if they can afford it…..
My dad will be 95 in January, frail but still lucid.
Still trying to get out to gigs where possible although the distance I’m prepared to travel for one night has shrunk.
Over all, can’t really complain.
As ever, best wishes to you all
Year started inauspiciously with chronic hip pain (detailed here), my Uber receipt tells me I went to Emergency department on Jan 16th, a couple of days after shoveling a fair bit of snow which may or may not have caused it. It has gradually improved throughout the year despite me not being rigorous enough in doing my exercises. Basically if it felt ok I didn’t feel the need to bother, it it was hurting like f*** I didn’t want to make it feel worse. My Crohn’s disease has been a bit up and down, currently not too bad, but I have a colonoscopy to look forward to in the New year. Just had my 6th Covid shot, yes we are still doing that in Ontario. I see above that some others are dealing with much worse.
Otherwise the twin challenges of lots of hard work and raising a teenager effectively as a single parent. She has had quite a few difficulties and is now at a “special school” where the method of teaching is quite different to regular high schools, as such they contain students which don’t really fit in and this can be because of depression, addictions and even a history of violence (guns, knives). This is all slightly worrying, but she seems to be doing better and her attendance particularly this school year is much improved.
Think I only saw about 6 gigs this year, highlights being Peter Gabriel, The Smile and Plant and Krauss. Similarly not too many music purchases as my votes here for albums of the year (new and archive) prove.
Already have tickets for 3 big gigs/festivals next year Stones, Wilco’s Solid Sound Festival (both in US) and Springsteen here in Ottawa (postponed by a year). Otherwise my hopes for 2024 are to stay in my job (possibly hard to achieve), change some poor habits and consequently lose some weight hopefully, Chubby Checkers any one?
Thank you, everyone for your kind comments. It has indeed been [technical term klaxon] a fuck of a year.
There may however be a faint light at the end of my “mystery to medical science” tunnel. The stroke doctor doesn’t think my worsening left side problems are stroke related, and my gorgeous locum oncology consultant – were I 35 years younger, she’d still be way out of my league – doesn’t think they’re caused by my brain tumour. When I saw her in early October, she mentioned neurology getting involved, and when I replied “No!” to her asking in mid November whether I’d heard from them, she said she’d chase them up. Finally I have an initial appointment – strikes willing – with a neurologist in early January.
We’ve had a pretty good year thanks. This year was my 23rd playing piano for PlaySchool and they continue to hire me and commission new songs. I still play the odd live gig with people I like playing with – thankfully the days are gone when I’d go to work on a Saturday night in some poxy club out on the suburbs backing useless singers who thought they were Elvis.
Our grandchildren continue to delight us, especially the 2 year old girl, we think the 5 year old boy is on some sort of spectrum and our daughter is reluctant to talk about it. We’re hoping his first year at school might sort this out.
Remarkably my health seems OK – 15 years since my heart attack at the age of 54 and I keep taking the meds and eat well and walk most days. Need to up the days I do my little exercise routine though, and less wine of an evening is definitely a NY resolution. I’ll be turning 70 next year – just writing that down doesn’t look like me.
My best wishes go out to all of you above who have various health issues.
One thing I’ve noticed this year has been I’ve got quite concerned about the state of the world. Ukraine, Gaza. The possibility that Trump will be elected again. The No vote here for recognising Aboriginal people in the Constitution, by a 60-40 margin. Just the capacity for people to say black is white and millions of people to believe it.
Have a good Christmas all.
Update: I typed too soon regarding my neurology appointment. The hospital has just phoned to cancel. Bugger it!
They’re hoping to reschedule later in January.
My Crohn’s disease has fairly well behaved itself although it caused me to miss Strawberry Fair in the summer (a free festival, so I didn’t lose any ticket money) and required an afternoon in hospital for an Iron & B12 infusion. And the side-effects of the meds caused severe sunburn on days two to four of our first week away since 2019. I started the year almost agorabphobic, after Covid Shielding and nearly a year of self-imposed “let’s see how it turns out”, but a weekly chat with a lovely lady put and end to that. I went out to four gigs, and caught the flu at the last. Being immuno compromised means easier to catch, harder to shift but on the upside it wasn’t Covid and it didn’t end up as pneumonia.
Offspring the Younger had a rotten year of guts ache, cameras inserted at both ends and a MRI. Only moderate indicators of Crohn’s found, he’s off the meds and stable, and started on a FODMAP diet (essentially a list of things to try, one at a time for three days each). It has impacted his A-levels, his social life, and his ability to hold down a part-time job. It all seems painfully familiar to me, but at least they will keep an eye on it in future, given my history.
Offspring the Elder fell out with her uni flatmates and went back into halls for her final year with a completely new crew. The latest Unsiutable Boy has lasted 15 months and has helped, I think.
Mrs F continues to tolerate me with only minimal complaint.
All round, I’ve had a much better year than many on here, and for that I am grateful. Best wishes to you all for 2024.
Like some others, I wasn’t sure whether to post anything here, given what some people have had to put up with this year. However, also like others, my year has been signposted by health issues.
In February, I was admitted to hospital for I/V antibiotics for cholecystitis, one of the most painful things I’ve experienced to date (when acute) but dealt with promptly.
In May, I had my annual prostate MRI scan, which apparently showed that my lesion had grown by a very small amount. Cue angst. MDT recommended another biopsy, to make sure that it hadn’t got more aggressive. A week after the procedure, I had a serious bleed and ended up in A&E because it wouldn’t stop (of course, it stopped while I was waiting to be seen). Doc said it was likely due to the TRUS biopsy, but couldn’t rule out something “higher up” – so referred me for an urgent colonoscopy. Had that in June. Turned out that the bleed was due to the biopsy, after all – but they also found and removed a polyp which turned out to be precancerous – so I’m now on a “polyp surveillance” list, to be re-scoped in five years. Prostate lesion hadn’t changed or become more aggressive, so that was good news anyway.
In August, I heard through neighbours that they thought my elderly parents had been scammed by a builder – flew home to find out what was going on.
In October, I got seriously jaundiced – turned out to be a gallstone stuck in my bile duct – cholecystitis again, more I/V antibiotics locally, then flown to Liverpool to have the stone removed (local hospital couldn’t do it). I’m now on the waiting list for gallbladder removal. And my PSA went up, although I’ve been told that might be due to recent infection and my frankly bonkers LFTs.
In my head, I imagine I’ve been handling all of this just fine – but in fact I’ve been snapping at people, I’ve been more argumentative and brittle on here and elsewhere (which is not really my style!). I’ve sent more PMs to you guys to apologise this year than in the previous decade. And, of course, I’ve missed M. Ended up back at bereavement counselling to round the year off.
To sum up: horrible year. Thanks to everyone for keeping me diverted on this very site (particularly to Mr Pencilsqueezer, who is more help than he realises); and apologies if I’ve casually offended or annoyed anyone along the way. And here’s hoping for a better 2024 for all of us.
Well that’s not a great year @fitterstoke, hope things improve in 2024.
(And I do like Pink Floyd!)
Thanks, Dai. I’m never sure whether to post stuff like this – whether it’s a bit self-indulgent, especially when you see what everyone else has to put up with. I posted it and deleted it – then posted it again (with some edits).
Gallstones are not fun at all: certainly the pain and havoc they can cause are immense. The pain, when they/it get stuck in a narrow pipe and your gall bladder contracts down to push em on, is certainly the worst pain I have ever experienced. I remember wondering how it compares to childbirth, which was the only thing that gave me solace, and perspective. (Sure, the wife pointed it out too: “imagine if that diddy stone weighed 6 plus pounds”. I didn’t point out the bile duct is a bit narrower than the averag
Ed: that’s more than enough detail, thank you……
Yoiks! That’s given me a whole new point of view…
Let’s hope 2024 is a vast improvement, Fitz.
You’re no more snappy than plenty round here, and it helps us to understand if we know you’re typing from a hospital bed. For starters, you can disregard much of what I say before 9am (the third mug of tea appears to be crucial in getting the brain cogs aligned).
Thanks, Steve. All the same, it’s a bit disconcerting to read something back later and think “that really doesn’t sound like me”.
Well what a shit run of challenges, Fitters. May 24 bring you a better time of it.
Without making light there’s quite a few TMFTL bands in there with all our ailments.
Cholecystitis. If that aint a prog band.
I’m inclined to the Post Nasal Drip Blues Band.
Cheers, Junior. And yes: I know what you mean – “Polyp Surveillance” has a post-punk/new wave ring to it, I think. Leather trenchcoats, Fender Mustangs…that kinda vibe.
The Jacksie Periscopes already exist, of course.
Possibly.
Hope you get yer op soon, @fitterstoke!
Thanks, retro!
Sorry to hear that you’ve had a tough year Fitter. I also joined the Afterword Colonscopy Club this year, and like yourself had a precancerous polyp removed. If there are male Afterworders over 50 who have not had one, then I would encourage them to do so.
Apart from anything else, you then join The Afterword Colonoscopy Club, where you receive a quarterly newsletter and a badge with “Shine On Up the Khyber”, which I believe is a Pink Floyd reference.
🙂
As a Crohn’s Disease sufferer I have had quite a few. Got one to look forward to in a couple of weeks.
Good luck!
Cheers!
My most recent consultant review went along the lines of: “those pills have toxic side-effects which can build up after a while, how about you stop taking them and see how you get on?”
Me: “Are you out of your mind?”
We agreed on an Up Periscope, stop tablets for 3 months, and another Up Periscope to compare. I’ve never had two in a year before. What larks!
Which pills? @fentonsteve 10 years ago I ended up in hospital for Christmas and they saved me with 3 blood transfusions. All because of my Crohn’s medication (combined with other meds) causing a huge reduction in my white blood cell count. The nurse said it was the lowest she had seen in 40 years of nursing
I’ve been taking 6-Mercaptopurine for 8 years now, and toxicity occurs (or it simply stops working) in many people at around 10 years.
Side effects include reduced white blood cell count, reduced vitamin D, B12, iron, calcium, reduced kindey function and, for 1 in 10,000 patients, UV hypersensitivity.
As if being A Ginger wasn’t bad enough, I am the lucky one. I basically can’t wear shorts or t-shirts, except during winter, and spend 6 months a year wearing the sun hat I bought in Alice Springs.
All of this is much better than having Crohn’s symptoms, though.
May be similar to what I was on. I might be reaching the same stage with Humira as it appears to be becoming less effective. Hence the colonoscopy in 2 weeks. I may be moved on to other medication. Either injecting like Humira, in pill form or even regularly going on an IV. If my treatment does change then naturally I am hoping for pills.
Yep, that all sounds familiar. My Electrician pal (he’s a decade younger than me) started on 6-MP a couple of years before I did, and when it stopped working the effect was pretty rapid – his Crohn’s symptoms really flared up in a matter of weeks. He was put on fortnightly Humira infusions for months before it calmed down again. I can see that looming on my horizon.
The side-effects of 6-MP are all tolerable to me and it was easy enough to adjust my lifestyle to suit. I’m not really keen on (a) another flare-up or (b) a whole new set of adjustments, but I understand I’ll probably have one or both sooner rather than later.
I’m always conscious that there are plenty worse off than me – sitting in the hospital waiting room is usually a good reminder. So what if my legs get sunburned in 10 minutes on an overcast day? At least I’ve still got two of them.
Humira has been great for me. Injecting oneself weekly isn’t fun, but you get used to it. It’s is incredibly expensive, thankfully covered by work benefits
Adalimumab is available on NHS for treatment of Crohn’s in England – so that’s something.
Thank goodness for work benefit where you are, Dai.
Yes, and I’ve recently transferred back to the NHS hospital (Addenbrookes) as my consultant retired last year and Bupa (Mrs F had family cover through work) decided to stop covering chronic illnesses*.
(*) Bupa will still cover one-off “corrective surgery” i.e. having my intestines removed. I’m not keen, tbh.
Not forgetting you can get t-shirts with this on.
“Yaroooh!”
“It appears to be a Fiio. Fortunately they are very durable.”
I hope you have a much better 2024, fitter. And I hope your parents’ finances are okay.
It’s accumulative. Each of those events, by themselves, are not so bad, but one after another takes its toll. I have a few small things brewing, nothing serious, but I have discovered I cannot get travel insurance to cover clots, the one thing more likely to happen with travel. Looks like I’m stuck in the UK for the rest of my days.
I’d also echo how helpful pencilsqueezer is.
That’s a bummer, Tiggs – all forms of travel or just flying? ie, could you take a cruise?
A cruise is less likely to provoke a clot but I would still have to pay out of my own pocket if I had one.
Yoiks! I thought they might have been prepared to cover all travel except flight or bathysphere…
Most modes of travel involve sitting still for long periods. I’ll enquire about cycling or hiking holidays.