Musings on the byways of popular culture
03/12/2017 by Uncle Wheaty 97 Comments
Uncle Wheaty says
03/12/2017 at 17:30
Here is a Happy Christmas from Cheap Trick:
03/12/2017 at 17:32
I’m not really after anything, tbh. I’ve managed to cobble together a list to help people out, but I’m not that bothered about receiving stuff at this point. A few records and a few books will be very nice.
03/12/2017 at 17:39
Same as Bob – not much floating my boat at the moment.
Maybe the Chris Difford and Loudon Wainwright autobiographies.
Leicester Bangs says
03/12/2017 at 17:52
I put a lot of effort into presents for others. Meanwhile I’ve set up an Amazon — sorry, ‘tax-dodgers’ — wishlist so I can get some decent stuff for myself.
03/12/2017 at 17:53
Win the Christmas lottery.
03/12/2017 at 17:58
Same as usual – something I didn’t know I wanted until someone who knows me better than I know myself buys it for me.
Not likely to happen though, so The Light and I will buy each other the new Game of Thrones on blu ray and some boxing pads and gloves that well both use down the gym. I found some cufflinks I liked in a charity shop the other day and have already given them to her so she can give them to me on Christmas morning. Tbh if I wanted anything in the present price range I would just buy it for myself, so we end up getting each other things we would have bought anyway. Isn’t that fairly standard with financially independent adults?
03/12/2017 at 18:00
Yes. That is what we do.
03/12/2017 at 18:27
Am I the only one that finds that a bit baffling? Why not just say “no presents” and be done with it?
03/12/2017 at 18:29
Years of disappointment!
03/12/2017 at 19:05
Because that would be much more difficult. I’m not a Christmas fan, but you have to show some kind of willing or seem either preachy or passive aggressive. I’d prefer to give the whole thing a miss, but you have to find a way of doing the least possible to avoid the greater hassle of working around it. Never mind. Soon be January.
04/12/2017 at 13:17
My experience is that you don’t have to show much willing at all. I was finding christmas stressful year after year and I decided that it was unfair to me. I wrote a very carefully worded email to all the members of my family and made a unilateral statement. It turned out that my siblings actually had quite similar views and had also been worried about voicing them. I haven’t bought (or received) a present since and it now means I can enjoy the run down to the end of the year and look forward to a week off work without christmas getting in the way. Try it, I haven’t regretted it for a second and there was zero backlash.
03/12/2017 at 18:05
A quiet life. Which seems unlikely.
Sewer Robot says
03/12/2017 at 18:25
Are you John Wick?
03/12/2017 at 18:38
Would that I were, Mr Robot. Would that I were.
03/12/2017 at 19:57
I didn’t know you were a Japan fan, bogl.
03/12/2017 at 18:13
Peace and quiet. Chocolate. A good book. A hug. More chocolate. That’s it.
03/12/2017 at 19:02
I quickly read that as a good bonk and was going to quickly concur but a good book is equally as good I guess.
04/12/2017 at 13:34
Equally as good? Depends on a: the book and b: the bonk.
Although a good book lasts longer, I guess. At least in most cases.
04/12/2017 at 19:19
There’s a Sting in that tale.
Wilson Wilson says
03/12/2017 at 18:23
Music and books, like most others here. What I really need is the spare time to consume them…
Yes I have little time for reading these days.
Music wise I should shun my addiction to Radio 5Live and listen to more music whilst driving.
03/12/2017 at 18:49
A new multipack of Marigolds.
Maybe a nice thumping 12″-er.
Moose the Mooche says
Oh, madam doesn’t want much does she?!
Bingo Little says
03/12/2017 at 18:50
The sum total of my Xmas list is “Keep Your Eyes Open”, a book of photos of Fugazi by Glen E Friedman (his “My Rules” is already on the shelf, and much loved), a hardback collection of Kurt Vonnegut’s short stories that I spotted in Forbidden Planet recently (never seen it before, seemed to include some I don’t already have) and a book of 70s surf photography by Jeff Divine.
Can’t think of anything else I want, bar time. Xmas is more about people than things anyway.
Kid Dynamite says
03/12/2017 at 19:51
I once saw that Fugazi book in the Tower Records in Shibuya. I didn’t buy it at the time, I’ve never seen it since, and about every six months I give myself a mental kicking over it. One of my many minor regrets.
03/12/2017 at 20:05
I don’t ask for much…
03/12/2017 at 23:58
Quite a few copies on ABE:
03/12/2017 at 19:13
The good wishes of friends anything else is a bonus.
04/12/2017 at 11:56
Well the good wishes of Afterworders is assured, Pencil old chap.
04/12/2017 at 16:28
03/12/2017 at 19:16
I hate waste, so I’d like some kind of gadget that squishes lots of tiny bits of bars of soap to make one big bar of soap. I’m sure that such a thing exists but I can’t find it online.
03/12/2017 at 19:28
How many bars of soap do you use at the same time?
03/12/2017 at 21:55
I don’t know. This is this thing. It’s like ‘The Most Fabulous Object In The World’ in Time Bandits. I just know it exists.
03/12/2017 at 22:21
This fabulous object, is it called ‘a styrofoam cup’? http://www.instructables.com/id/Reuse-Your-Old-Soap/
04/12/2017 at 07:44
I think it was a bit more sophisticated than that. I’m beginning to think I saw it in the Innovations Catalogue.
04/12/2017 at 09:20
A product made by the good people at Ronco, I’ll wager!
04/12/2017 at 09:22
I think the item you’re thinking of is a soap press, aka a Soap Saver.
04/12/2017 at 09:49
For a second there I thought Id hit paydirt, but the Internet says no.
04/12/2017 at 10:24
No, they don’t seem to make them anymore.
04/12/2017 at 10:28
The cabal of greedy soapmakers put a stop to it, evidently.
04/12/2017 at 09:56
You gave me a soap press last Christmas. I was still dizzy in February.
04/12/2017 at 14:23
Does anyone use soap these days? Surely it is all shower gels and hand wash. No waste there.
04/12/2017 at 14:36
Good point, but I’m attached to my Wright’s Coal Tar Soap.
04/12/2017 at 14:39
Mr B is an Imperial Leather kind of chap.
He just sticks the old sliver to the new bar, although if it wasn’t for me removing the stickers and re-doing it (every time – sigh!) the bar would be 90% labels by now.
04/12/2017 at 14:44
That’s a good idea.
Another thing you don’t see any more is soaps with a magnet pushed into them. That was fun, putting the magnet in a new bar.
04/12/2017 at 14:52
A magnet in a bar of soap? Do what, mate?
04/12/2017 at 15:02
There was a thing on the wall. Let’s call it a ‘magnetic soap holder’.
Then you had a bit of metal that looked not unlike a beer bottle top that you pressed into your bar of soap, and thanks to the magnet the soap hung off the holder. The idea is (‘was?’ I’m not sure they still exist) that it avoids all the slime you get in a soap dish.
04/12/2017 at 15:06
I was right, you’re high.
04/12/2017 at 15:10
Someone must’ve spiked my Cup A Soup.
05/12/2017 at 09:46
Do you think you’re a Cup above the rest of us?
04/12/2017 at 14:25
How about something like this?
03/12/2017 at 19:46
Something personal, small, meaningful and thoughtful. I have enough music and books to last a lifetime (although I never complain about more).
03/12/2017 at 20:00
Have you considered the Lego Millennium Falcon, Ruby?
03/12/2017 at 20:26
My son wants that.*
I spent today sorting through six boxes of Lego to try and find a stormtrooper’s gun. The Millennium Falcon can fuck the fuck off.
* He can fuck off too. (Not been the best of Sundays.)
03/12/2017 at 20:31
I bet Santa read that. I’m going to get a Chocolate Orange and some Sainsbury’s bubble bath, aren’t I?
03/12/2017 at 20:46
Probably not that good.
A finger of fudge and some Aldi own label wash up stuff.
03/12/2017 at 20:49
You’ll need to wash up after that finger of fudge.
03/12/2017 at 21:00
Yeah and don’t forget to check the Best Before date on the chocolate orange.
03/12/2017 at 21:06
It’ll be a regift from last year, no doubt. And probably a shitty dark choc one. And someone will have taken a segment out and tried to rewrap the foil.
Bah humbug. I am going to bed.
03/12/2017 at 19:54
The only thing I really want is the new Lego Millennium Falcon, which is absolutely massive, has over 7000 pieces, and costs seven hundred quid. There’s no way I’m getting it, so I’ll just enjoy Christmas with the family. Once I’m over the tantrum.
03/12/2017 at 20:37
7000 pieces? ‘Kinnell, it’ll take a millennium to finish the bastard!
Paul Wad says
04/12/2017 at 01:01
We’ve been going a little Lego crazy recently. Our 12 year old daughter had a bedroom refit recently, which led to a set of shelves being spare. The missus, in what I have to admit was one of her better ideas, suggested shoving them in the spare bedroom so we could fill them with all the Lego Batman sets I’ve gathered over the years. To be honest, I think that was to pacify me after my grumbling as to why the shelves needed replacing in the first place. Anyhow, we’ve been through several boxes so far and have just tackled the big ones.
We did the 1966 Batcave last week, and a thing of beauty it is too. Unfortunately, it is to tall to fit on any of the shelves, even the top one, as the top shelf is too near the ceiling and the shelves aren’t movable. So it’s currently residing on top of a small Cabinet in the living room, and will stay there until we find somewhere better for it or the wife’s patience runs out, whichever is the soonest.
And today we’ve cracked open the giant Dark Knight ‘Tumbler’ Batmobile I got a few years ago and made a start on that. It’s very detailed and is a fair size, but sadly it will fit on the shelves upstairs, so no keeping that one in the living room. I did, however, look around the room to see I had my Lego Yellow submarine on top of the stereo, and a box frame with 20 Lego Batman characters from the early sets on the wall, with a few other Batman related pieces and art. Then there’s my framed mini Hammer Horror posters in another corner and 3 large prints of paintings of The Beatles and Elvis ‘in Barnsley’ by a local artist (they’re much better than I make them sound!), not to mention my sizeable signed England 66 photo on the other wall, as well as a 4 shelving units full of CDs and DVDs in the living room. And a load of books. So I got thinking about how much of a tolerant wife I have and that I should stop telling her we don’t need the kitchen doing and maybe a bunch of flowers should be the next addition to the living room.
04/12/2017 at 12:45
The more my daughter plays with Lego, the more I realise that my dad had the patience of a saint when I was her age
04/12/2017 at 13:15
I know what you mean but I was a kid in the days before Lego sets with detailed instructions. I used to build stuff myself out of what was in the old biscuit tin with no input from my parents. Our Lego was bricks, wheels, windows and roof tiles so the chances of building anything other than a rectangle were limited.
03/12/2017 at 20:20
That nicely stuffed glow at about 5pm on 25/12/17, pleased it is all over, glad that it was, after all, worth it.
Early night then or the classic old git snoring in a chair?
Remember when you laughed the them!
04/12/2017 at 19:22
Snoring in a chair. That way I retain the pleasure.
03/12/2017 at 21:19
I would like a Subaru Outback, which according to the manufacturer combines rugged capability with refined elegance. That’s me to a T. Vetoed by the domestic authorities sadly, on the specious grounds that it costs $50k.
Failing that, I’d like something nice to happen to our resident paint-botherer for a change.
03/12/2017 at 23:31
Well, this year, in addition to my normal pre-printed list [peace & love for everyone, my bodyweight in excellent Caipirinhas, a baby giraffe] I’m really really reeeaally hoping for a puffling.
PS and a really good biography of Eleanor Roosevelt – can anybody recommend one?
03/12/2017 at 23:37
I’ve just about already got it – my youngest daughter and English husband here already, and my son and girlfriend are arriving on Wednesday. And my oldest daughter is still just around the corner. Sadly I won’t be calling my Mum but we had a big celebration 2 years ago for her 90th which was the last time we were all together.
Quite a content old bloke really. The cricket’s on, Colin and Terry’s EP just arrived. Right now I don’t want anything else.
John Walters says
03/12/2017 at 23:59
Going to wander around the Christmas markets in Manchester tomorrow.
Will probably pop into Fopp and buy myself something to give to my wife to wrap up for me.
04/12/2017 at 06:57
Warning: the singing tree on St Ann’s Square is quite disturbing.
04/12/2017 at 09:33
Dude that tree’s not singing. This is more disturbing than you think.
04/12/2017 at 10:25
We were in Manchester for a couple of days last week to see The Light’s daughter who is at the Uni. I was pleased to see that Zippy has found new work, even if it is only seasonal. Things can’t have been easy for him since the break up of the Rainbow crew. He’s much taller than he looked on telly – Bungle must have been huge!
04/12/2017 at 01:23
It isn’t Christmas without a new jigsaw puzzle, 1000 pieces preferably (and none of those bloody alpine views with flowerbaskets on the balconies of ugly wooden houses, thank you very much!)
Books, of course.
A blue Le Creuset ovenpot would be lovely…that’s not going to happen.
I’d really like my boss to give us all a nice Christmas bonus this year, for working so hard this autumn, and making the big change (from one supermarket chain to another) go so smoothly and successfully – but he’s a bit of a Scrooge, so that’s probably not going to happen either.
Oh well; I’d only spend it on something useless anyway! 🙂
04/12/2017 at 09:38
A Dukla Prague away kit please……..
Black Type says
04/12/2017 at 10:01
World peace, Trump’s impeachment and Kim Jong-Un to choke on his own vomit. These three are not mutually exclusive.
04/12/2017 at 12:55
Personally, I’d prefer it if Trump and Kim Jong Un choked on each other’s vomit. Perhaps Boris Johnson and Vladimir Putin could join in and make it a 4-way.
04/12/2017 at 14:28
The subhuman centipede?
Harry Tufnell says
04/12/2017 at 10:54
I’d quite like the builders to be finished and out, we’ve been working on the new house for 11 months now, It’d be nice to be able to walk around in my dressing gown and let rip with leg raised farts without having to check that nobody is around first.
04/12/2017 at 10:58
Well, it’s one way of drying the plaster.
04/12/2017 at 14:02
A nice lie in, but I doubt that’s going to happen. Otherwise books/cds etc – usually facty type stuff to keep the interest going through the dark early year evenings.
I get more excited about opening the fridge now and wondering how to use up the leftovers. I’m not much of a cook, but I find cooking great for dissolving stress, even if it’s just mashing potatoes.
04/12/2017 at 14:31
I’m getting a new tablet for birthday/Christmas – Lenovo Yoga 3 Plus. I’m hoping it’s as good as the specs and the reviews promise.
04/12/2017 at 14:45
I’m thinking about dropping a hint for this…
04/12/2017 at 14:50
I love his Kate Bush tree decorations, and see that despite being £25 for just three, have now sold out. Kate fans, eh?
04/12/2017 at 14:49
I want a salt pig for my salt. Ideally the Cornish one with a lid. That’ll do.
04/12/2017 at 14:57
A what for your what?
A pig for your salt, LB up there ^^ on about magnets in soap?
Are you lot high today, or something?
04/12/2017 at 15:00
Cornish Salt Pig: TMFTL
04/12/2017 at 16:01
04/12/2017 at 17:27
My wife bought a Nigella Lawson salt pig some years ago – it’s black and looks like an egg. All I ever do is move it around the kitchen and dust it (it’s too weird a shape to find a home). That however, Leeds, is quite lovely.
04/12/2017 at 20:46
We have a salt pig. Oak. For months I refused to let Mrs Moose put salt in it because I loved the smell of the wood so much.
South of Watford there is no “L” in the word salt. It becomes “soat”.
There is no hope for me.
05/12/2017 at 09:16
Ha ha – a Northumbrian pal of mine always took the mick out the way I say “wall” when we were students. It’s more like “woowl”.
04/12/2017 at 19:23
The obligatory socks and underpants, but feel free to sneak in a copy of Twin Peaks season 3 on blu-ray. And thank you very much for asking.
04/12/2017 at 20:41
He was excellent in socks and underpants.
04/12/2017 at 19:45
The corpses of Farage, Gove and Johnston to feast upon.
04/12/2017 at 20:42
Johnston! What has the Disney Girls hitmaker ever done to you?
04/12/2017 at 21:28
Wa-haayylll, ah do declare, all ah’m wantin’ fur Chressmess is to get me some SUGAH!
You must be logged in to post a comment.