About 2 years ago I posted exciting details of a tree I had just planted in my garden, and I’m proud to say it met with a complete wave of indifference. Planting a tree is always an investment in the future, a nod to a time that will exist long after I am gone. Given that fact I felt I should share my tree’s progress, as it has grown from a mere stripling into a positively strapping youth.
bungliemutt says
Damn this tablet, I hadn’t finished talking bollocks. Anyhow, here’s my tree in all it’s elegant finery. It is available for viewing by appointment, and on certain summer evenings naked wood nymphs can be glimpsed frolicking under its spreading branches, something which I am sure will be of interest to Rob C, if to no one else. Do we have a ‘Least Commented’ thread heading? Time to introduce one I feel.
Rob C says
This has indeed peaked my interest, being a seasoned frequenter of places Thin, and as such I feel it my duty to remind you that if you do indeed encounter a lusty Wood Nymph, other member of the Elemental Nature Being family, or in particular The Gentry, do not accept one morsel or swig unless the answer is affirmative when you ask ‘is this given freely without obligation’ ? ( Not affirmative in the Spock sense, because those ears won’t be real and you have encountered a trespassing Trekkie so the best course of action in this instance is to finish them off with a spade or other heavy garden implement, also providing your tree with a good source of free fertiliser).
Anyway. I love Trees. Sentient sentinels of the forest, garden, park and glade.
Dig: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbSep_itgFg
H.P. Saucecraft says
What an absolutely splendid tree! Thank you for sharing it. Perhaps other readers etc.?
minibreakfast says
Tree-mendous!
minibreakfast says
Tree more from dem later.
minibreakfast says
Have you tried pushing a pineapple beneath it, then shaking the trunk yet? Asking for a friend.
bungliemutt says
Tree fellas?
Johnny Concheroo says
Not really a tree, more of a shrub or a bush, but here’s my Aralia Elegantissima, or False Aralia. It stands around 2 metres (7 feet) tall. I saw it at a garden centre some years ago as a mere seedling and had to have it. Why? Simple. It’s the plant we see alongside Frank Zappa on the back cover of the 1972 LP Waka/Jawaka. And look, it seems to be bearing fruit! Amazing.
On the LP cover Zappa’s long-serving sleeve artist Cal Schenkel has drawn a little cartoon label on the plant stem, giving the full scientific name, possibly because it looks a lot like a dope plant and Frank wanted to make it absolutely clear it wasn’t anything illegal.
http://i627.photobucket.com/albums/tt351/mojoworking01/Afterword/Zappa-2.jpg
Johnny Concheroo says
Sorry, wrong photo. I meant to post this one:
http://i627.photobucket.com/albums/tt351/mojoworking01/Afterword/zappa2.jpg
Junior Wells says
Money may not but , quite clearly, Zappa albums grow on trees.
bungliemutt says
Hey, great idea for a thread – album covers and their trees.
H.P. Saucecraft says
One of my Top Ten Zappa albums, this. Always loved it. And that little plant label didn’t appear on the original UK edition, thinksmenot?
Johnny Concheroo says
I don’t have a UK pressing right now to compare, but here’s the back of my US pressing:
http://i.imgur.com/lt671TD.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/xnWZicf.jpg
Twang says
We have what is technically known as a fucking enormous cedar tree in the garden. It’s the biggest in the town apparently. It’s a magnificent thing, but is a PITA…every drain blocked with needles, every gutter ditto. Once an enormous branch broke off it and a branch just caught the corner of the house – 6 feet to the right I’d have had a bleedin’ tree in me music room. See the pale bit half way up on the right? From there. But we love it.
http://i1094.photobucket.com/albums/i449/charlieboy14/Afterword/20160730_140144_zpsq4lqfv0f.jpg
bungliemutt says
Size isn’t everything.
Vulpes Vulpes says
Your gaff is certainly easy to identify once you get within about 3 miles of it.
🙂
hubert rawlinson says
Like a tree this thread should keep on growing.
Junior Wells says
This is my offering. I JF some rotten trees removed and others trimmed. Cost a bundle.
It’s a mix of liquid Amber, Norfolk pine, peppermint myrtle and plum.
Junior Wells says
I had
FFS
Johnny Concheroo says
Ziggy Sawdust
bungliemutt says
The Man Who Sawed The World
Junior Wells says
http://youtu.be/lFknuUUMnnc
Johnny Concheroo says
Albert did it better, Different song, mind.
Johnny Concheroo says
Well, perhaps not that different.
Junior Wells says
Yes that was my first thought
Johnny Concheroo says
Anything by Elm-more James?
Johnny Concheroo says
Or Pinetop Perkins?
H.P. Saucecraft says
You should have stopped at Ziggy Sawdust. That, and its followup The Man Who Sawed The World, are Olympic-class puns.
Rigid Digit says
Wooden It Be Nice
Johnny Concheroo says
Ashes To Ashes, Trunk to Trunky.
minibreakfast says
Big Log.
minibreakfast says
Anything by Twiggy.
minibreakfast says
Alright, I’ll Leave it there.
Freddy Steady says
Nope Mini, I don’t get it.
minibreakfast says
Leave?
Freddy Steady says
Ah.
Bugger.
Junior Wells says
Junior Wells says
Oakey from Muskogee
Carl says
Planting a tree can only result in gratitude deferred.
When it reaches maturity and people take advantage of its shade or shelter from the rain, then they may wonder who was the benefactor who had the foresight to plant this splendid specimen.
Even then you might find your memory usurped. The young girl who planted a seed that grew into a particular type of apple tree is forgotten, but Mr Bramley, who acquired ownership and then insisted that all fruit grown from cuttings from the tree be named after him, will be remembered forever.
So the name Bungliemutt’s tree may be usurped by something far more prosaic.
mikethep says
This seems appropriate.
https://youtu.be/KTvYh8ar3tc
Rigid Digit says
Officially credited to Tim Pope and Friends
(the Friends being The Cure)
I Want To Be A Tree
johnw says
Well done, looks like the most poplar thread of the day!
Mike_H says
Tree Cheers!
hubert rawlinson says
anything by Bach
sending this from What Sap
excuse me whilst I strap myself to a tree with roots
aging hippy says
Trees a jolly good fellow
Twang says
My Dad planted an oak tree when he was little which grew to a scent size buy the time I was 7 or 8, and I used to climb it, hide under it etc. Recently I looked up where my grandparents lived on Google street view…and whoever lived there had evidently cut it down as that whole corner of the garden is now a hard standing for the car. Bastards!
Twang says
Scent….FFS DECENT
bungliemutt says
Bastards indeed. My next door neighbour, who is one of those blokes with an oversized gadget for every occasion – his lawn is about 8 foot square but he cuts it with a ride-on petrol mower – has been chainsaw happy this afternoon, chopping down everything that gets in his way. Wanker.
Anyway, thanks everyone for confounding my expectations and making this the Afterword’s most popular ever tree thread. Tree cheers!
mikethep says
Petrol-driven garden machinery. Beloved by wankers everywhere. Come the revolution …
Mike_H says
I do know one person whose lawn justifies a ride-on mower. It’s about 200yds of lawn from the rear of his house to the jungle at the end of his garden.
But yes, if it’s just your standard little rectangle you could zap with a flymo in 2 minutes…
Junior Wells says
The dickhead probably even has a right angle valve attachment for his wheelbarrow. pffffffttt
mikethep says
Doesn’t everybody?
H.P. Saucecraft says
Only those with toy wheelbarrows with fun-type balloon tyres.
mikethep says
Just come across this in a review of the new Dave Eggers novel, so thought I’d share:
“A leaf blower. The easiest way to witness the stupidity and misplaced hopes of all humanity is to watch, for 20 minutes, a human using a leaf blower. With this machine, the man was saying, I will murder all quiet. I will destroy the aural plane. And I will do it with a machine that performs a task far less efficiently that I could with a rake.”
Johnny Concheroo says
“Petrol-driven garden machinery. Beloved by wankers everywhere”
I always used to laugh at the Flymo electric mowers people use in Britain. Imagine the scene: cutting grass on a rainy day with a device on a 50 foot lead plugged into the mains via several extension leads. In sandals.
I suppose there are easier ways to kill/maim yourself, but I can’t think of any right now.
mikethep says
I never killed/maimed myself. And what idiot would mow the lawn when it’s raining?
Johnny Concheroo says
There’s always dew/condensation on the grass in UK.
I suppose electric mowers are OK for the British tablecloth sized lawns, but the bigger Aussie gardens surely make being attached to the mains by a lead impractical?
Rob C says
You’d have to be fucking demented to garden in Australia. Far too dangerous.
mikethep says
I’ve got a rechargeable Ryobi electric mower, does front and back on one charge, more or less, and if it doesn’t make it all the way round I’m pretty relaxed about it. Wondrously quiet and I don’t walk around in a cloud of petrol fumes. My neighbours, all of whom push great stinking behemoths around, are fascinated by it, but I think they all feel their manhood would be threatened if they got one.
Johnny Concheroo says
Ah, cordless. That’s the way to go. How’s the power though? Even my petrol mower gives up the ghost if the grass is too long/thick.
mikethep says
It’s fine. Grass never gets that long and it’s usually pretty dry. I get the whippersnipper out for long bits under trees etc. That’s cordless too.
H.P. Saucecraft says
We have a barely-tamed jungle. When the “grass” gets too high we pay An Uncle to come in and chop it down with one of those petrol-driven whirly-blade things slung over his shoulder. You need boots to do this (flying stones and dogshit).
Vulpes Vulpes says
Planning application currently in with the berk across the way – wants to kill a Maple that’s been there since the place was built 30 years ago. All neighbours object. Planners will inevitably give the vandalism the nod. Wankers. And ultra wanker will get the chainsaw out. Hope he lops off a limb…
Johnny Concheroo says
If this were the good old days of the blog, at this point I’d post a late 50s newspaper clipping about a “local musician who lives in a tree”. It was John Mayall of course who built a tree house in the back garden of his Manchester home.
But since we aren’t allowed to do that anymore, you’ll just have to imagine it I’m afraid.
Junior Wells says
Have you checked it is restricted ?
Johnny Concheroo says
No, I haven’t. Too complicated and not worth the effort.
mikethep says
Think you might be taking this more to heart than anyone else, JC. A 1950s newspaper clipping, unless it has been expensively rephotographed by David Bailey, is fair dos I’d have thought. But I bough to your judgment.
Johnny Concheroo says
Thing is Mike, it’s not on Google but the inside cover of the Mayall LP Looking Back. Last time showed a detail from a record sleeve there were cries of “not allowed!”. Anyway, let’s live dangerously. From 1955, here’s a cutting from the Manchester Evening News.
http://i.imgur.com/ulqQ1lp.jpg
Junior Wells says
I did an advanced Google search for”John Mayall’s tree house”
Unfiltered for licenses turned up 3 pictures of the tree house- the first t(h)ree in fact.
When I applied free to share the tree houses weren’t there.
Johnny Concheroo says
You’ll have to explain what that means. Too many options.
Junior Wells says
Google > Google images > settings ( word or cog wheel) >advanced search > enter key words up the top >scroll down to bottom panel > filtering section > select filter by share , presumably non commercial
Press advanced search and hope for the best.
Johnny Concheroo says
I got a big zero on that. Even the results that did show a tree house aren’t Mayall’s tree house. One of the major flaws with Google searches are if, as in this case, the words “Mayall” and a picture of a random tree house appear on the same website. Then Google throws it up as a positive result.
Anyway, I wanted the newspaper cutting which doesn’t seem to be on Google.
H.P. Saucecraft says
Not many people know this, but Brian May (out of The Queens) carved his guitar from a tree! And he uses a horseshoe nail for a plectrum!
Junior Wells says
I think I said that at the start – with the appropriate licensing filter no tree house- presumably restricted. Dunno about other search engines.
Kaisfatdad says
Great thread Bunglie! Sorry I’m late to the party.
The Python clip made me wonder if there were any real singing lumberjacks. Please welcome Charlie Chamberlain from Canada who started work in the forests at the tender age of 8!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlK_V1bq124
Something of a cult figure in Canada. Here’s some more info on him:
http://scratchyattic.blogspot.se/2011/07/charlie-chamberlain-singing-lumberjack.html
Junior Wells says
Aforementioned Notfolk pine monster. Anyone in need of a ship’s mast let me know.
Top corner is second story of house.
mikethep says
Big mama gum tree in our back yard, Mrs thep for scale. It’s 55 years old.
If I don’t die any other way first, I will probably be killed under it by a falling branch, dropped with no warning. Hence the nickname widowmaker…
http://i1100.photobucket.com/albums/g401/mikethep/FullSizeRender%2012_Snapseed_zpsjnbqxmeh.jpg
Johnny Concheroo says
I can see the banana plant sneaking in on the left
mikethep says
I am officially licensed to grow bananas by the State of Queensland. Never saw that one coming.
H.P. Saucecraft says
I think you’ll find the wording is “officially licensed to go bananas.”
Johnny Concheroo says
Any more of your pejorative references to mental illness and I shall request that you be no-platformed by the mods.
Junior Wells says
Its Queensland- where’s the hooch ?
BTW @Bartleby this is a classic case of the random nature of thread success.
Trees FFS .
Bartleby says
I know! Reassuringly mad and random 😉
garyjohn says
Get busy living, get busy dying.
http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/news/the-shawshank-redemption-tree-has-fallen-down-a7156011.html
Sniffity says
Imana Coppola goes one up on Tim Pope
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3N__gsWeQDw
H.P. Saucecraft says
Here’s one of the two albums by most favouritest (nearly) UK folk-rock group:
http://i1318.photobucket.com/albums/t642/burtkocain/cover_2369842016_r_zpswyijamoc.jpg
(A note about copyright – this shows the vinyl album sleeve. This album sleeve is reproduced freely across the internet, as an image search will show. It is reproduced perhaps hundreds of times, as a photograph of an object. To use it here does not infringe on anyone’s copyright.)
mikethep says
Actually, yes it does. But nobody cares.
Rob C says
Good band. I have ‘The Garden Of Jane Delawney’ which is a fine record, and ‘On The Shore’ has been recommended to me as being even better.
retropath2 says
Both very good. The band that could have been Fairport, but Fairport (then) were better.
Rob C says
Nice one Retro – B division classic Fairport is no bad thing in itself.
H.P. Saucecraft says
They’re generally dismissed because they “weren’t Fairport”, which is just boo-hoo unfair. They weren’t copying Fairport, and they have their own particular style. They’re terrific albums. On The Shore was released as a deluxe, with some pointless remixes and mostly ho-hum bonus tracks, but the original album (with that incredible sleeve – one of the UK’s best) is “essential” if you like that sort of thing. Which you do.
Johnny Concheroo says
Speaking of Fairport, I heard today that Jerry Donahue was taken to hospital in LA after suffering a stroke. Let’s hope he pulls through.
H.P. Saucecraft says
Let’s hope he can afford to pay his bills.
Johnny Concheroo says
Just in case you were thinking of getting out the axe, here’s Phil Harris from 1947 with Woodman, Spare That Tree. Phil did the voice of Baloo the Bear in The Jungle Book (1967), Thomas O’Malley in The Aristocats (1970), and Little John in Robin Hood (1973).
This song dates back to the 1830s and the first recorded version was, I think, circa 1911
Junior Wells says
I’ve always tried to be Careful with that axe JC
Johnny Concheroo says
You can call me Eugene
Rob C says
This is a very special and beautiful place. Ancient woodland. I visit it whenever I get the chance. The sense of peace and timelessness is palpable. Past and present seem to merge here:
http://i1302.photobucket.com/albums/ag126/astralcat379/P1010408_zpsjt9g1hkg.jpg
mikethep says
Any hobbits? Looks like their sort of place. Lovely.
Rob C says
Cheers Mikedude.
Oh yes. Very Thin…..
Sniffity says
Also looks reminiscent of some of the landscape in Boorman’s “Excalibur”
Rob C says
It is Ireland, but that was filmed in Wicklow. This is Glengarriff, West Cork.
Rob C says
http://i1302.photobucket.com/albums/ag126/astralcat379/P1010399_zpsw0blwf4c.jpg
H.P. Saucecraft says
If you stand on your head and look at this, it’s like the sky is full of water!