What a pleasure it was to spend the weekend in the UK and hear people unselfconsciously speaking English all around me. Not to mention listening to my fellow curmudgeons grumbling and getting apoplectic about how the language is going to the dogs.
During one such tirade I learnt a wonderful new expression: the moronic interrogative. It was coined by Rory McGrath and refers to the habit of having a rising tone at the end of a sentence as though you are asking a question. This is rather popular among the yoof who have, it is believed, picked it from Aussie soap operas. Here are Stewie and Roger from Family Guy with a few examples.
Anyone else got any language pet hates?
It drives me crazy the way that my son peppers his conversation with Americanisms.
Incidentally, you will be very amused to hear that when I arrived at Heathrow, my epassport did not work. I had to go and talk to the immigration office. He informed me that the computer cold not process me as I bore to close a resemblance to John Peel A more common problem than you’d imagine!
H.P. Saucecraft says
You’re upspeaking?
RubyBlue says
My son? Has picked up this? Where everything sounds like a question?
I blame TV/YouTube/video games/America/Australia/the parents.
Zanti Misfit says
Stephen Fry was addressing this frightful upspeak bollocks on Room 101 in 2001!
At the 8:00 mark
GCU Grey Area says
Putting ‘to’ at the end of a sentence. Admittedly, this is a bit of a Somerset problem. ‘Where’s that to?’ ‘Where’s she to?’ ‘ Where be two be to? Ah, I be to before!’ Oh how this annoyed me when I moved here, but of course, now I do it.
So, . .
Kid Dynamite says
Which leads, when you are working in West Country (and South Wales) record shops to the excellent question “Where to’s your Tupac to?”
Moose the Mooche says
In Lancasheer the word “to” disappears from speech altogether. Now we know where all the tos have gone. To.
Johnny Concheroo says
They’ve gone same place as all those Yorkshire “the’s”
timtunes says
Far far too many to mention but the table is topped by the blanket half-wit use of the iconic word iconic
One of the worst is in Groupon Pub lunch offers or the like (the copy of which is always skin-crawling ) with references to ‘treat yourself to such iconic British Pub Classics as Fish & Chips’
Moose the Mooche says
The only pub food which deserves to be called “classic” is pork scratchings and huge jars of suspicious pickled eggs.
Dodger Lane says
Two spring to mind.
“a big ask” and “pre-loading”; raiding mum and dad’d drinks cabinet before going out on the town and doing what yoof do.
I’m not sure I really mind all that much, so long as people are still talking to each other. What gets me is seeing couples walking together and both plugged in.
Moose the Mooche says
….what, in the street?
Wow, that’s very athletic!
Kaisfatdad says
Up-speaking is indeed what they call it in the US. And in Thailand too?
Another thing that was mentioned was kids speaking a kind of cod Jamaican. I’ve met young Swedish vanilla Rastas who only seem to be able to speak English in this way. Most distressing.
bobness says
The thing I’ve also noticed is interviewees responding to questions with a shrug and something like “Ah, look, (insert rest of answer here)”.
Presumably meant to be chummy and self-effacing? Picked up, I think, from Aussie cricketers (well, that’s when I first heard it, Michael Clarke especially).
count jim moriarty says
I first noticed that with Ian Thorpe. He was a pundit at the 2012 Olympics for the BBC, and just about every statement he made stated with ‘Look…’. It got very wearing by the end of the swimming events.
The other one that annoys me is the unnecessary plural, for example ‘your Cooks and your Andersons’ (as far as I know, there is only one Cook and one Anderson in the England cricket team).
Sewer Robot says
All of these “Look…”, “Well..”, “I’m glad you asked me that..” attempts to wriggle of the end of the hook are known in the biz as The Canada Strategy after Ivor Cutler’s grandad, who once had sexual relations with a polar bear in Canada.
“When asked about this he would always reply:
– Canada…..?
playing for time”.
Moose the Mooche says
That’s on Dandruff isn’t it?
Fremsley came up on shuffle when I was in TK Maxx recently – a bizarre experience. The shop didn’t have any sagging khaki jodphurs.
man.of.soup says
Did their Miss Jones attend you?
Moose the Mooche says
Only Mrs Machinery was available
mikethep says
‘Look’ is definitely an Aussie thing – it’s the standard preamble to any answer. Not so much chummy and self-effacing as, in Tony Abbott’s case, a doomed attempt to get his brain in gear before he goofs yet again.
policybloke says
So……Oh, let’s not go there
GCU Grey Area says
Yeah, no. Seems to spreading from Australian cricketers to sportsman in general, as the opening words of a reply to a question.
‘For sure’ is another annoyer. Jacques Villeneuve seemed to start this one off in F1, and it is now part of their vocab.
Moose the Mooche says
Absolutely!
Moose the Mooche says
This thread is quite literally genius.
davidks says
My 3 year old daughter asked me yesterday, “Daddy, what are you actually doing?”
Not, what are you doing, what are you “actually” doing.
I was sitting having a beer, so I’m not sure if it was a term that she has picked up or she is really saying “What should you be doing, rather than drinking beer?”
Kids…
Moose the Mooche says
That’s a pretty heavy question from a 3 year old..
“Pondering the meaninglessness of existence/ Avoiding work/ Getting slowly drunk”, you could have actually answered.
davidks says
I could have answered that , but she may have responded with “Again, daddy, you always do that”
Getthenet says
Yes, the “Look…” Australianism is massively annoying. Whilst we’re on sports, when a pundit is asked about a penalty, “I’ve seen them given” is rather tedious. As is “He’ll be disappointed with that” when someone has had a shot and it’s gone out for a corner.
Sorry to pick on the Aussies again, but I heard an ex cricketer describe Ricky Ponting the “most winningest” of captains. That, truly, is disgraceful.
English language going to the dogs, etc, etc.
duco01 says
Although I don’t particularly like “winningest” either, it’s certainly not a neologism.
It’s been pretty common in American English for decades. Webster’s Dictionary states that the first recorded use was in 1972.
pencilsqueezer says
Personally it’s the massive proliferation of the word personally used after the letter I. I personally cannot stand It.
chiz says
Tony Cozier came out with a good one onTMS the other day. Replying to Michael Vaughan he said “I agree with everything you will have said just then.” You’d need a time machine to do that.
Timbar says
“For Sure” entered the tennis interview world over ten years ago. Firstly with Justine Henin and then most of the Russian girls. I wonder if it was something they were all taught as a useful phrase to use?
GCU Grey Area says
For sure. Very useful if you’ve just medalled, top-scored or podiumed.
Black Celebration says
I remember Navratilova saying “for sure” in the 70s. I think it’s something heavily-accented continental Europeans say.
Black Type says
Yes, I remember Borg and Becker, and the footballer Jurgen Klinsmann using it often.
Getthenet says
A neologism eh ? Until a few minutes ago I had no idea what one was.
Moose the Mooche says
“gism” – hurrrr
Black Type says
One yoof expression that my teen grandchildren use and genuinely amuses me is “Don’t judge me”. Naturally, I literally hate all the Americanisms (“I’ve got gas”, indeed) and, like, other stuff?
Moose the Mooche says
It’s those bleedin’ talent shows….. it’s all about judges these days
Black Type says
Moose, you made that reply your own.
Moose the Mooche says
It’s been a journey….an emotional rollercoaster. I’m posting this for my dead pet hamster’s mother-in-law, who has a fashionable illness.
GCU Grey Area says
@moose-the-mooche Thank you for coming on and telling us your ‘story’. . .
Moose the Mooche says
It’s my dream…. to have one or two insipid hits, then to disappear, apart from the odd appearance on ITV game shows designed to make it look like everyone who does well on Simon Cowell shows subsequently has a glittering career.
See you in the jungle…
Kaisfatdad says
When does a neologism become a paleologism? 1972? That feels almost like yesterday to me!
Steve Walsh says
Many things drive me mad about modern speech. Some have been mentioned already.
“Literally” causes me to wince even before I hear what follows. “I literally died,” is one of the more ludicrous examples I have endured recently. The temptation to make a sarcastic comment about the speaker seeming remarkably well in the circumstances was almost painful – without being literally so. Being English and not wanting to cause offence, I bite my tongue. But when someone uses the word correctly, I want to stand up and applaud.
And then there’s the use of “like” to report what someone has said. As in, “So I was like… an’ he was like…” as a substitute for “So I said… and he said…” Thankfully, my sons have learned that the use of this word only results in their being asked to explain in what way they resembled whatever it was that followed the word and so the usage has largely been banished from my house (along with literally, iconic, the moronic interrogative and many more). They still appear to have friends so I don’t think it has harmed them much.
All of these annoy me too (with one possible exception).
Moose the Mooche says
I don’t trust David Mitchell with grammar. He’s not anything like as clever as he thinks he is.
Sorry to be humourless, but pedantry is a cutthroat business.
Dodger Lane says
Barry Glendenning on the Guardian Football podcast was very funny about Jamie Redknapp mis-using literally at every available opportunity, one that sticks in mind is a player “literally turning into a greyhound”.
duco01 says
And one commentator describing Bob Willis, after he’d claimed a few wickets: “His tail is literally up!”
Kaisfatdad says
The dilution of the word awesome is indeed awesome. Once used to describe something like explorers’ first glimpse of the Niagara Falls, it can now be used to for a pair of socks. Its overuse is so well established, it’s now almost retro.
http://moreintelligentlife.com/content/ideas/robert-lane-greene/just-awesome
Bingo Little says
I use “awesome” constantly. I will never stop. NEVER!
Next you’ll be telling me I have to stop using cowabunga.
Moose the Mooche says
So I turned round and said…. so he turns round and says…
Some people give accounts of conversations that clearly take place on the waltzers at the fairground.
Black Type says
Zanti Misfit says
‘Guys?”
Poppy Succeeds says
I use awesome all the time, too, although it’s more funnerer to say ‘ossum’.
The definition of ‘literally’ changed about two years ago.
mikethep says
I prefer ‘aresome’ myself.
Poppy Succeeds says
Sounds like your local pronunciation, Mike.
salwarpe says
Indeed, words change their meanings, literally, as Poppy says. Get used to it.
John Finnemore is awesome – I soured this clip around as much as I can to wind up pedants and linguistic stickinthemuds –
salwarpe says
‘spread’, rather than ‘soured’ – although I quite like the self criticism in the auto correct.
Declan says
I suppose it’s just about okay if you’re American to misuse presently and momentarily, otherwise you’re an imbecile.
And stepping up to the plate? You’re American or a sub-moron.
Not to mention this check business (Ready, Steve? Check, Andy? Check.etc.) Fuck right off.
Black Type says
“I’m not being funny, but…”
No, you’re being annoying.
Moose the Mooche says
This is generally immediately followed by none-too-thinly-veiled personal abuse.
“I’m not being funny but I want you to die. Slowly”
David Kendal says
“With all due respect…” is the posh version of this.
Kaisfatdad says
Classy David!
No better way of totally dissing someone is there?
Moose the Mooche says
I do occasionally use it a la Christopher Moltisanti from the Sopranos – as a general expression of exasperation, broken up carefully into its constituent syllables.
Moose the Mooche says
Sorry, this belongs under the comment about “motherfucker” on another thread.
As you were.
Dodger Lane says
As in the press officer in WIA…..
Kaisfatdad says
A language is a living, changing entity. I’m there were lots of grumpy old Anglo-Saxons grumbling when those Normans arrived with their fancy French words.
No pedants and linguistic reactionaries here on the AW, eh?
Poppy Succeeds says
I’m a bit conflicted about the exclamation mark. On the one hand, I hate how every email ends in one. On the other, they can sound a bit blunt otherwise.
mikethep says
Whether at the end or not, nobody’s allowed more than one exclamation mark in any email (or similar short document). It’s the law. Just gets all SHOUTY otherwise. Multiple examples (or !!!!????) are a capital offence. The writer is saying, Me, I’m such a character!!!!! – the verbal equivalent of Timmy Mallett.
Kaisfatdad says
Know what you mean, Poppy.
But one sees so many of them in emails now that somehow the exclamation doesn’t seem to be so loud.
That perhaps is an example of language evolution that I can accept.
Kaisfatdad says
Back in the day when I was teaching English more, Swedes of a certain age loved it when it started to rain.
Then they could say: It’s raining cats and dogs.
I then had to gently point out to them that the only people who used this anachronism were foreign language students and characters in Agatha Christie novels.
GCU Grey Area says
So, I’m not so sure about that, @kaisfatdad.
For sure, it might be anachronistic, but no less so than ‘stair-rods’, as a descriptor of hard, vertically-falling rain.
You could also try out some Somerset / West Country words; Dimsy (or dimpsy) – dusk; Tacker – a child of infant school age; Pitching – snow which is accumulating and not melting as fast as it lands; Daps – plimsolls.
Cheers, then!
Kaisfatdad says
Thanks @gcu-grey-area. That was interesting to read. I’m happy to be proved wrong.
Never heard stair-rods before so I did a quick bit of research.
http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-18461189
I do like luttering, down, plothering down and it’s raining like a cow relieving itself. As long as we don’t get cowpats pelting down from the heavens!
I’ll teach those new words to my tackers as they leave for school at dimsy. Once they’ve got their daps on.
GCU Grey Area says
Proper job. ‘Andsome.
I seem to remember a thread on the old site (or possibly the old-old site) about anachronistic words and phrases that people use. I know I use ‘pukka’, ‘shufti’, ‘gen’ (information) and ‘divvy’ (divide up). Standard.
timtunes says
‘top banter’ or ‘bants’ seems to be increasing in use. I made the mistake of piinting this out to my son – who has increased its usage 10-fold
Kaisfatdad says
Bants sounds pants!
Baron Counterpane says
So. OK as a Peter Gabriel album title; increasingly annoying as the sentence opener used by any under 25 interviewed on the Today programme.
“How did you come to write this biography?”
“So. I was given the complete works of Hubert de Ste Croix as a graduation present by…”
“But can de Ste Croix be accused of racism in his early writings?”
“So. This has been suggested by….”
“And do you have any plans for another book?”
“So. I’ve been listening to a lot of…”
Grrr.
Mike_H says
Sometimes used as a pause-filler while engaging brain for a reply, but it can just become a habit of speech in even the most erudite. It seems to be gradually replacing starting off with “Well…”, which nobody here seems to have objected to. Yet.
Much better than constantly starting with “Errr…”, when all’s said and done.
Anyway, it’s what the person has to say, not how they say it, which is of primary importance.
Beezer says
Hello, asked as a question. Meaning, ‘are you thick?’
‘Hello?’ That jiggles my irritation switch. Given that I normally hear it from SuperDry-clad jellyheads with a world view that began last month and comprises the journey from their house to MacDonalds.
That’s another thing. ‘ing’ No, I’m not loving it. Or liking that.
Kaisfatdad says
Nicely observed, Beezer.
No wish to “share” their “journey” to the hamburger emporium then?
JustB says
Well, if this thread has done nothing else, it’s made me feel quite pleasantly youthful.
Kaisfatdad says
I think it’s made me feel pleasantly curmudgeonly.
Moose the Mooche says
Tubby Fair.
I don’t know who this rotund fellow may be, but he does get namedropped an awful lot.
Sewer Robot says
Now I have an image of a funfair where you get turned away from the rides for having insufficient girth rather than being lacking in height..
(And echoing the stripey cat below, come back Moosey, everyone’s doing their best but while we’ve got the saucy birds, the upturned-nose derision, the speccy clown and the big gormless one covered, our smutty carry on’s not the same without your Sid James cackle…)
Kaisfatdad says
Thanks for all the insightful comments here.
Just been listening to that Finnemore sketch which hits the nails nicely on the head.
It’s great to have a moan about pet hates.
But I don’t envy the poor teachers who have to decide which innovations are to be accepted or even embraced and which must be fought tooth and nail.
Is the apostrophe now on the endangered species list?
Not on my watch anyway!!!!
Kaisfatdad says
Thanks @black-type. I get this “Don’t judge me” thing all the time. I thought it was just me.
Alias says
Sick thread bruv.
brookebfa says
The origins of the moronic interrogative, ‘upspeak’, ‘high rise’ – whatever, are unequivocally in Punk Rock. Those born after 1960 in the UK were susceptible, those learning to speak during 1976 were particularly at risk. ‘God save the Queen? It’s a fascist regime?’ Even those who sang it weren’t sure!
B r o o k e.
Tiggerlion says
Rereading this thread just makes me miss @Moose-the-Mooche all the more.
Having sat through almost all of the Olympics, please may I add the misuse of the word ‘historic’?
Deviant808 says
Sky Sports (who else?) were describing Hull’s win yesterday as historic, as it was “only” the second (not even the first!) time a newly promoted club had won their first two Premiership games.
Generally, anything described as a Premier League record should be ignored.
Rec Room says
Isn’t it a rule that appropriating another culture or country’s slang usually produces horrible results?
Example: American’s indulging in Brit-speak. Madonna tried this. You ever heard an American casually drop the word “c*nt” ? Sphincter clenching stuff.
Sitheref2409 says
Yes. Tony Soprano for one, and some of my saltier rugby acquaintances have been known to drop it.
Now, hearing them try to use “bugger” or “bollocks”…that’s amusing
GCU Grey Area says
Upspeak predates the screening of Australian soaps in the UK. When I moved to Dorset in the late 70s, a lot of people born there did it, but only when what they were saying was a question. So, not at the end of every sentence?