This idea popped, totally unprompted by anything (OK, OK a suggestion on another thread), into my head. What song would best show off the breadth of your taste, the width of your stomach and the height of your talent?
I have been asked by people to do “Wichita Lineman” – in another venue to theirs preferably – and unscientific listening tests in the shower have confirmed its suitability for my vocal range. Bingo Little mentioned quite coyly on that other thread that he has a song all ready to go should he be asked. So, what’s yours?
MC Escher says
By the way, I tried to put this into Nights Out, for heightened comedy value, but it insisted on a date.
The location is easy however: The Ship, Leigh on Sea, Essex, so I can walk home after. I can put up four people if you don’t mind sharing.
Might suit people who like: er, karaoke.
What it all means: like Taylor Swift you should sing like no-one can avoid listening, dance like no-one’s looking and dress in clothes that you don’t mind having beer spilled on them.
Bingo Little says
My go-to karaoke tunes are Maggie May (gets easier to sing the later the evening wears on), Regulate by Warren G and Nate Dogg and Gangsta’s Paradise. But I’m up for taking a crack at pretty much anything that doesn’t involve too much falsetto.
Can we do some requests? I’d like to hear Johnny Concheroo and Ianess duet on When We Was Fab.
ianess says
JC and I could give you, bing, a personal rendition of a little-known number by Sir Alex Ferguson – ‘youse are all fucking idiots’.
Tiggerlion says
Tower Of Song.
What can I say? I have a golden voice. I can also play the tinkly bits in between the verses.
ianess says
Shirley, ‘Yo bitch, I’m your Nigga’?
Moose the Mooche says
Karaoke is NOT music, it is just a bloke in a tracksuit shouting over a record. AND it causes crime.
(returns to Foghat box set)
Bingo Little says
Moose will be performing KRS One’s immortal cover version of “My Dingaling”
Moose the Mooche says
Being overweight, ill-informed and pompous, I make a pretty good KRS 1.
H.P. Saucecraft says
Karaoke Is Killing Music
Hannah says
My karaoke party piece is “Ice Ice Baby”.
Bingo Little says
Will it ever stop?
mr.apollo says
can I please request “The Sound of Silence”?
Hannah says
Yo, I don’t know.
chiz says
Can you wax up a chump like a candle?
Moose the Mooche says
Shay with a gauge and Hannah with a nine…
mr.apollo says
sorry, have absolutely no idea what that means.
Moose the Mooche says
I recommend you google the lyrics of Ice Ice Baby.
Not just to understand these posts, but to give yourself a chuckle.
Hannah says
Indeed I can. My other skills include cooking MCs like a pound of bacon.
Moose the Mooche says
By heck, that’ll learn em!
Mike_H says
Mine would be Caravan’s “Golf Girl”, I think.
hubert rawlinson says
I was coerced into an evening of karaoke at my wife’s Christmas do. We went prepared and ‘performed’ the Bonzo’s ‘Little Sir Echo’ complete with cardboard ‘hello’ speech bubbles. ( I had used these at the Bonzo gig in Manchester in 2006, Neil Innes was most impressed) Had to take our own DVD of the Bonzos as oddly enough the Karaokster didn’t have a copy.
When we finished the chap said ‘I’ve never seen anything like that before’ A proud moment.
So that’s what I’d do.
Rigid Digit says
Bad Company – Can’t Get Enough, in the style of Jack Dee meets Ted Chippington.
Guaranteed room clearer.
Have always successfully avoided karaoke requests – even when madly drunk, there is a bit of my brain that reminds me I can’t carry a tune in a bucket.
ganglesprocket says
I always do songs sung by women. Frankly because I am short, baldy, bearded, grumpy and possessing a deep voice with distinct foghorn qualities.
My “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” once had an audience gaping with astonishment. My “These Boots Are Made For Walkin'” almost got me queer-bashed in a pub in South London near Borough.
My “Like A Virgin” is just shite though…
Rigid Digit says
what is the reaction like to you rendition of “My Humps”?
Moose the Mooche says
The trick with these songs is to make no concession to the fact that the originals are not sung in your own accent. I have discovered that there are very few songs that can’t be improved by being sung in a flat, guttural northern English voice, “My Humps” being a case in point.
“Me oomps, me ladee loomps, lookin’ at me loomp loomp…. Ahl mek mek yer scream”
Champion.
JustB says
I Know But I Don’t Know by Blondie is quite something in a Hull accent.
Moose the Mooche says
Also, from that same album:
Dern’t leave me ‘anging on the teleferrrrrn…
It’s eleven fifty narrrrn, and ah wanna stay alaaaaaaarve…
Rigid Digit says
‘Art of Glass
ganglesprocket says
I forgot to say, my own accent is Glasweigan. Works quite well for “These Boots” I have to say… Imagine a weedgie Liam Gallagher and you are there…
Martin S says
Mine is Ernie, the fastest milkman in the west. I’m prepared to fight anyone who tries to take it off me.
Jackthebiscuit says
I must admit that I am seriously partial to a spot of karaoke.
I am not the worst singer on a typical Karaoke evening, but I am not far from it. When I do get to sing, I try to sing as best as I can & not just yell down the mic although others (fools that they are) may think that is exactly what I am doing.
So, a few of my favourites (INPO)
Radar Love
I saw her standing there
Bad moon rising
Jeepster
Come together
There are many others, but these tend to be the ones I come back to.
Truth be told, I have never met a microphone that I didn’t like…
JustB says
I’ve only done Karaoke a couple of times. Not sure what my party piece would be, but – bizarrely for a performing musician – I hate singing in front of small groups of friends. Find it really awkward. No idea why.
JustB says
But fuck it. It’s going to be Who Am I (What’s My Name)? clearly.
andielou says
For my fortieth, I belted out Green Day’s Basket Case & Freedom by George Michaels. It was beautiful.
Tiggerlion says
How long ago was that, andie?! ?
H.P. Saucecraft says
Miii, and furthermore, aaoouuw!
andielou says
18 months ago as it ‘appens!
Tiggerlion says
God! You are a mere child.
MC Escher says
No Neil Diamond yet? *stunned face*
Now I remember, the last time I did it was atrocious dahlings. I requested “Ruby, don’t take your love to town” and I knew I was going to kill it. The machine missed the entire first verse, and plunged me straight into the chorus, to widespread indifference. I was mortified and took to drinking heavily.
MC Escher says
And how can anyone do hip hop on karaoke? That’s just cheating, but in the right hands I can see the comic possibilities.
Bingo Little says
I’m going to raise the bar here by confessboasting that I’ve performed hip hop karaoke onstage in front of a reasonable crowd at a venue in which I was the only white person. The song was Protect Ya Neck. The year, 2005. Glory days.
MC Escher says
I may be overthinking here, but… hip hop is really just karaoke with beats isn’t it. It is a truth universally acknowledged that you don’t go to a hip hop gig for the singing, after all.
minibreakfast says
*puts popcorn in microwave*
Bingo Little says
I nominate the appropriately named MC Escher to perform a medley of tunes by Twista.
http://youtu.be/bIXphkwrarM
ganglesprocket says
Try this one Escher. YOU HAVE NO CHANCE.
H.P. Saucecraft says
I’m confident that, given the sheet music, a couple of hours to rehearse, and a fistful of amyl nitrate, Maurits will step up to the plate.
MC Escher says
Guys, guys. I’m not disputing the artistry at work in hip hop; some of my best friends are hip hop artists*. I love the genre largely. I am in awe at the poetic pyrotechnics and the lyrical dexterity and cleverness of the best MC’s.
However it’s fairly incontestable that there is hardly any singing in the genre, and how most folk define karaoke is how good/terrible the performer is at singing.
*drops mic…. then picks it and hope nobody noticed*
*they aren’t
Bingo Little says
Quite a few hip hop tunes involve singing – including both Regulate and Gangsta’s Paradise (see above).
Hip hop is just a different challenge to rock or pop. There’s less chance of missing a note, but staying on the beat is a lot harder than it looks, and if you lose the thread it sounds bloody awful.
By far the hardest karaoke tune I’ve ever attempted is Concrete Schoolyard by Jurassic 5. It should have been easy – it sounds relatively slow and I know the whole thing by heart – but it was really, really tough, because the original is performed by five different MCs with very different voices and flows.
Moose the Mooche says
Doing the Beasties is a hell of a karaoke challenge. Impersonating Adrock’s whine is exhausting, as is simulating the raspy hoarseness of Yauch (god rest him).
H.P. Saucecraft says
Pah. Try The Blimp sometime (first rap song ever recorded).
Gary says
My first choice would be the whole of Yentl by Barbara Streisand. Or anything by anyone from Norwich.
Rigid Digit says
Anyone from Norwich?
Alan Partridge performs a sublime reading of “Close To You” (at 1:19)
Gary says
Papa, can you hear me? Papa, can you see me? Papa, can you help me not be frightened?
Beezer says
Carrie doesn’t live here anymore
She used to room on the second floor
Sorry that she left no forwarding address
That was known to meeeee
Carrieeeeee!
Uncle Wheaty says
We’ve Got Tonight by Bob Seger.
I nail it every time.
minibreakfast says
Spanish Flea. On armpit trumpet.
Moose the Mooche says
Wow. I’ve never seen you move your arm up and down that fast.
retropath2 says
Delilah, but always the Alex Harvey, never the Jones.
fitterstoke says
By the Time I get to Phoenix….channelling the Nick Cave version….or maybe Weightless Again….
Lodestone of Wrongness says
Battle of New Orleans channelling Lonnie. Some cried, some laughed, nobody was left unmoved. Somewhere there is a home movie of this historic event but until it is rediscovered this will have to do..
thecheshirecat says
My baritone Wuthering Heights is the stuff of legend. I now get it requested at weddings, parties, bar mitzvahs.
H.P. Saucecraft says
My rendition of You Were Always On My Mind is still talked about in the St John’s Wood Chinese community.
ianess says
Hey, HP, I once sang Parsley, Sage etc to a 400 strong, Chinese only crowd in a pub in Brussels. Stunned silence at the end, followed by a huge roar of either approval or relief.
My tip is to start off low and not strin for high notes. I started off with. Len Cohen mumble then descended downwards to a subterranean Lee Hazlewood rumble. Totally in the zone by the end, though drenched in flop sweat.
Hawkfall says
I do a pretty good Elvis, particularly Fat Elvis. My go to song would be “I Just Can’t Help Believing”.
In fact I think the ability to do a passable Elvis impersonation is a skill that all gentlemen should possess, along with being able to cook a curry, put up a tent, tell a Hurricane from a Spitfire and reach their travel destination without asking for directions.
H.P. Saucecraft says
Hear him! Hear him! My genre-defining version of You Were Always On My Mind leans heavily on Fat Elvis. In fact, I reckon you have to think yourself into a fringed Vegas jumpsuit and pimp shades when performing any karaoke number.
Hawkfall says
I do the “yeah sing your song baby” bit to the backing singers and everything. You need to become a conduit to the King’s energy, give yourself up to him. It’s not easy and many can’t do it, becoming all self conscious and wishing they’d chose “Angels” instead. But the rewards are worth it. It’s like mindfulness, but fun. Lord have mercy.
Hawkfall says
I should add that I can do a decent “Polk Salad Annie”. The trick is to add a touch – just a touch – of vibrato on “Louisiana” in the first verse. That sets you right up. After that, it’s momentum, mainly.
Johnny Concheroo says
Do you do the “a mean, vicious, straight razor-totin’ woman” part, too? I’d like to hear that!
Hawkfall says
Lord have mercy! I think one has to Johnny, otherwise they should stick to “Can’t Help Falling in Love” or “Love Me Tender”. An advanced intermediate Elvis song like “Polk Salad Annie” should be taken seriously. I even do the “shuh! shuh!” bits.
Johnny Concheroo says
Respect!
H.P. Saucecraft says
*Vegas cutlery rattle*
Rob C says
I’m an amazing singer. Truly sublime. Your souls would leap yet your hearts would weep. I have sung to Royalty and Presidents of the USA. They weren’t allowed requests, and neither are you rabble.
The agony of choice… I shall opt for a rendition of Kevin Ayers’ ‘Song From A Bottom Of A Well’ sung in the style of everybody’s favourite eyes cast heavenward yellow bellied buck toothed God botherer Tim Farron in the style of a yodelling George Formby on amyl nitrate.
Or perhaps ‘Revolution #9’.
Black Celebration says
Route 66 is nice and short and you don’t have to sing that well.
MC Escher says
Ditto THe Boxtops’s’s’s’s “The Letter” which is about 2:25. In fact I firmly believe brevity is key to next-level shit on karaoke
drakeygirl says
I think you’ll find Route 66 is 2,448 miles long, however well you’re singing.
Black Celebration says
Another advantage is that there isn’t an impotently embarrassing instrumental break – just start, read/sing the words, then stop.
One I’d like to do is JAMS It’s Grim up North.
Bolton,
Barnsley,
Nelson,
Colne,
Burnley
Bradford,
Buxton,
Crewe,
Warrington,
Widnes,
Wigan,
Leeds,
Northwich,
Nantwich,
Knutsford,
Hull,
Sale,
Salford,
Southport,
Leigh,
Derby,
Kearsley
Keighley
Maghull,
Harrogate,
Huddersfield,
Oldham, Lancs,
Grimsby,
Glossop,
Hebden Bridge,
It’s Grim Up North,
It’s Grim Up North.
Brighouse,
Bootle,
Featherstone,
Speke,
Runcorn,
Rotherham,
Rochdale,
Barrow,
Morecambe,
Macclesfield,
Lytham St. Annes
Clitheroe,
Cleethorpes,
The M62,
It’s Grim Up North,
It’s Grim Up North.
Pendlebury,
Prestwich,
Preston,
York,
Skipton,
Scunthorpe,
Scarborough-on-Sea,
Chester,
Chorley,
Cheedle Hulme,
Ormskirk,
Accrington Stanley,
And Leigh,
Ossett,
Otley,
Ikley Moor,
Sheffield,
Manchester,
Castleford,
Skem,
Doncaster,
Dewsbury,
Hali-fax,
Bingley,
Bramall,
Are all in the North
fitterstoke says
Good choice!
H.P. Saucecraft says
What, no Pately Bridge?
thecheshirecat says
For a moment, that looked like my schedule card for today’s shift, but there was no Church & Oswaldtwistle.
duco01 says
I thought Harrogate was suposed to be all posh and middle-class, and not grim at all…
duco01 says
You know, Afterworders, after a couple of small, dry sherries, I might just be persuaded to growl:
Well the eggs chase the bacon
round the fryin’ pan
and the whinin’ dog pidgeons
by the steeple bell rope
and the dogs tipped the garbage pails
over last night
and there’s always construction work
bothering you
In the neighborhood
In the neighborhood
In the neighborhood
Tiggerlion says
In my mind’s ear, you have the plumb tones of a duke (bit obvious, I know, but there you are).
I’d love to hear this.
Fin59 says
I Get A Kick Out Of You.
That’s what I give ’em. With a full complement of rinky dinks, hey cats and shooby doos.
Not so much Frank Sinatra, more Frank Enfurter possibly.
Dave Ross says
I’ve never Karaoked, but if I did it would have to be something Spandau. Hadleys voice is one you can mimic even if you can’t sing a note, which I can’t. I would happily give “To Cut A Long Story Short” a go. Imagine that last “miiiiiiiiiiiiiind” like a goose farting in the fog, get me the mike.
Moose the Mooche says
Siiiiing something Spandau, as cares go by…
Sorry, I couldn’t hold that back.
Bingo Little says
After some of the bold claims being made on this thread, not least by yours truly, we should totally be having an Afterword Karaoke Night, should we not?
Meet up and spend an hour arguing about who had the best plectrums in 1969 while everyone gets as loaded as possible, then off to Lucky Voice or similar to tear da motherfunkin roof off – yeah!
H.P. Saucecraft says
Up until recently, you’d all have been welcome over here, there was a Karaoke section in the local Tesco Lotus. Don’t look for it now, it’s not there any more.
(10pts btw)
Jorrox says
Another performing musician so I tend not to do this sort of thing. But if I do it’s the Scott Walker version of Brel’s Jackie as it’s so far from what I do myself. And it’s a great song.