My youngest boy is 13 in a couple of weeks time and what he would really really like for his birthday is a PS4.
The problem is that my wife is absolutely against video consoles and flatly refuses to even consider, citing that they will spend all their time playing games, not do any studying etc etc.
The thing is that he has an iPhone (which is obviously full of games) and has a notebook computer for school (which is also used for games….), so I cannot see the logic in that argument. In fact, I argue that at least the PS4 would be out in then living room and so we can control the usage etc. Also added into the mix is that we recently allowed the elder boy (15 yrs old) to build his own PC (he had to research and source all the components himself) and guess what, he uses it to play games…. thus creating the impression to the younger boy that we are biased.
So, the questions to the massive are
– your experience of kids having consoles / video games – do they all turn into unsociable zombies or is it relatively easy to control / manage ?
– any further arguments to convince my dearest wife its not such a bad idea ? (or is it ?)
Thanks in advance.
davebigpicture says
Our house is very similar. Multiple devices that can be used for playing games, my daughter watching YouTube and my son, also 15, “shouting down the Internet” at his friends while playing online. Incidentally, he also wanted to build a gaming PC but I have said no for the time being. Between phones, tablets and laptops, I think there are enough distractions and the Xbox sits neglected along with the expensive games. We did put time restrictions on the Xbox but they just moved onto the next device. Sounds awful put like that but I’m sure we’re not alone. The only thing we can do now is restrict the wifi usage, which we are considering.
Poppy Succeeds says
It depends what they’re playing and how they’re playing it. ie. Kids yelling homophobic abuse at each other on Call Of Duty = bad. Kids collaborating in order to build complex and beautiful creations on Minecraft = good.
Springer Bell says
I have 2 boys. 11 & 15.
We have a PS3 AND a PS4 and both play both. We have rules around the game time. They play online with their friends and each other on the PS4. They also have their friends over and play.
So personally I have no problems. It’s just one of the outlets of the kids today. They both play sport. Two different team codes so they have games or training at least 4 times every week so I’m not worried about lack of fitness or social skills. And they both read. Books.
I understand where your wife is coming from as to be fair sometimes we do have to intervene and say “times up” or “get out and play with your friends” but isn’t that our job isn’t it just about balance?
Anyway bottom line is that it hasn’t been a problem for us although others may have a different view.
Bingo Little says
This sounds about right to me. I grew up with games consoles in the house from about 8 onwards – parents never metered it, but I dare say they would have if I’d spent too long on there.
Never did me any harm.
*Twitch*
Kaisfatdad says
My 13 year old has a PS4 and it’s a wonderful console. So I’d definitely say yes. He doesn’t spend all his time playing, although when a new game comes out, it can be intense for a day or two.
BUT
If you are going to convince your wife, you need to do some research on which games to get him. There are a lot that are not age-appropriate. Please don’t ask me how I know that!
The recent reboot of Ratchet and Clank would be a good choice. Little Big Planet. The various Lego games are wonderfully inventive.
Another thing (not necessarily bad or good) to think about is that a lot happens on line with the PS4. It’s all very social. My son chats with his pals about what they’re going to do at the weekend while playing with them on line.
Games are to his generation what pop music was to mine.
If you have a good local game shop, I’m sure someone there will explain things to you.
Bingo Little says
BLOODBORNE.
You know it makes sense.
Poppy Succeeds says
We’ve got several consoles in the house but they all belong to me — ha! — so I have that ultimate thing of saying you can’t borrow my PlayStation.
Screentime is screentime, though, whether it’s PS4 or iPad. It’s up to the kids how they use it.
davebigpicture says
Just to add to your wife’s argument, having the console in the lounge will create more conflict over whether the PS4/TV screen time allocation is “fair”.
niscum says
My son’s the same age as your youngest and he got a PS3 for his last birthday. It is the only game he has ever in his life to date not got bored with / outgrown. He plays it when he’s at mine which is half of each week. Usually in 40 minutes sessions per day.
He – like nearly all his friends – has Grand Theft Auto (GTA) which is full of the sort of language, imagery and action that your wife will hate. My lad’s mum would too.
I guess for me in buying GTA it came down to this: do I trust my boy not to turn into a mysoginistic, foul-mouthed, criminal lout (like his father)? And the answer is yes, I do trust him. And although the game is full of ‘motherfucker’ and extreme violence, his behaviour, like that of his friends has not changed in the slightest. It’s just a game.
Regarding him being on it all the time which was our fear too, you just have to lay down rules for use at the start. My lad gets more time on it if he’s doing well in school, if not then he gets less time and more homework. It’s a positive reinforcement tool.
I totally recommend it. But trust me, he *will* want GTA at some point because all his friends will have it and it’s just an excellent game, it really is. And I’m speaking as someone who has never played and has no intention to start.
Kaisfatdad says
Niscum’s right. GTA is a stupendous game with an enormous open world to explore.
There are some unpleasant scenes in the story section, but our son at least, has shown no interest in that. He just loves having a whole city he can drive around and explore and the chance to pimp his ride.
And there’s some great interactive stuff where you cannot succeed unless you work closely in a team with your pals.
niscum says
You’re so right about the social aspect of the game, the ‘online’ team missions really make it something special, and as you say in your earlier comment, players can hook up with their real life friends to complete missions together.
Kaisfatdad says
And while doing so, they are without realising it, picking up some useful skills. Teamwork where they need to explain clearly and calmly to their team mates what each of them has to do.
Ok, what they often have to do is rob a bank, but one can’t have everything.
Bingo Little says
In the interview for my current role, one of the questions was to suggest a multiplayer game which could be used to teach teamwork in a corporate environment.
ianess says
I found it invaluable for giving tips on how to keep my stable of hos in line.
H.P. Saucecraft says
There’s a lot of youth-appropriate PS4 games out there now, like this one: (crosses fingers, hopes Photofucket works):
http://i1318.photobucket.com/albums/t642/burtkocain/comment_zpsx4w7uwst.jpg
(“Virtue Signalling” is due later this year!)
Rob C says
The face that sank a thousand ships.
H.P. Saucecraft says
Can you see it? I suppose I’m lucky because it doesn’t show up for me. PhotoFucket’s been very buggy recently.
Freddy Steady says
Interesting, @niscum
We are at the GTA phase with my 14 year old. “All” his friends have it, some have had it for years. We have resisted for some time but I’ve read the reviews (and a lot are fine) and my son says and knows that if he turns into a mysoginistic, foul mouthed criminal lout then he stands no chance of having it and it will be removed.
I’m also going to use it as a carrot. He is basically lazy, doesn’t do as much physical exercise as he used to and has put on weight. I hate it. But, if he shows commitment to getting fit (like he used to be) and addresses his diet then, well he might just be lucky.
dali says
We have two boys, 7 and 9. I tell you, the fights the pair of them have as a result of the access to (and use thereof) the various consolepad thingies we appear to have collected like dust to a turntable lid. For the Xbox we regularly hide the controllers. IPads, they have a habit of vanishing. Password on the computer – they don’t know it. Phones, they’re too young. I think we have it under control, wait, ‘ang on, ‘ang on, I’ll be back in a second after I’ve broken up this argument over PvZ……..
paulwright says
13 year old boy child has xbox and gaming computer. He loves them, and spends a lot of his free time on them (also has 6 to 10 hours of sports per week plus keyboard lessons). It’s the non-game playing girl child we are having problems with. Wish she would get her aggression out by shooting aliens (same amount of sports, maybe more, and bass).
I’d love to play myself but dont have the time.
The Good Doctor says
I’ve been doing a bit of work on a (formerly) notorious council estate recently and a copper I spoke to recently told me that he thinks computer games and the internet in general are contributing to a reduction in Anti-social behaviour for young lads in particular – bus shelters are going un-smashed and pensioners are not having their gardens trashed as lads are too busy pretending to be crack dealers on GTA
Kid Dynamite says
My daughter’s eight, so a bit younger than the other children in this thread, but over the last year or so has taken a lot more interest in my PS4. We play Disney Infinity together, and have a go on some of the Zen Pinball tables, and then I wait to play the Bloodbornes and Uncharteds until after she’s gone to bed. I don’t see any problem with children playing games as long as it’s managed and supervised in the same way a decent parent would any other activity.
Moose the Mooche says
Can’t be any worse than what I started doing when I was 13.
hurrrr
Arthur Cowslip says
Dungeons and Dragons?
Arthur Cowslip says
Pandora’s box, innit?
I don’t like them and I can’t see the attraction. Why would you not want to spend your time learning a musical instrument instead of (say) playing a virtual one in some daft game? And I’ve never seen a game yet with the imagination and originality of (say) a Terry Gilliam film.
So i see computer games as a lower art form, and i despair for tomorrows kids. But it’s not for me to understand, is it? So I just let them get on with it. I reckon fighting it will just lead to resentment and rebellion later.
Bingo Little says
PLAY BLOODBORNE, FOR GOD’S SAKE