Musings on the byways of popular culture
06/07/2017 by Baron Harkonnen 90 Comments
Baron Harkonnen says
07/07/2017 at 07:44
Tumble-weed, what I expected. I thought the sycophants would be happy!
Junior Wells says
07/07/2017 at 10:24
Am I reading this wrong or is this thread a bit narky ?
H.P. Saucecraft says
07/07/2017 at 11:02
I’ve always been a big fan of Barry’s work both here and on the David Icke Lizard-Spotters Forum (where he writes as “FoilHat666”) and that he feels the need to post a sarcastic and personal blog piece already is extremely flattering.
07/07/2017 at 11:10
How long ago was that shit fight FFS ?
I think that explains the tumbleweeds.
07/07/2017 at 18:26
Na, no shit fights Junior. Some people seem to think it is about them, conceited pronacks!
I was of course referring to THE KING, DENIS LAW*** who will receive the Freedom Of The City Of Aberdeen later this year.
***He was one third of what became known as Manchester United’s Holy Trinity, when he played alongside George Best and Sir Bobby Charlton during his 11-year stint with the Red Devils.
Those who assumed the crown will probably be watching this shite: http://www.itv.com/presscentre/ep1week17/bigheads
Some people tsk.
Moose the Mooche says
07/07/2017 at 18:45
You need to explain who Denis Law is?
Dude, bob_numbers flounced years ago!
07/07/2017 at 18:55
Moose, read the fucking post, it tells you who DENIS LAW is!*
OR you may be asking me why I explained who DENIS LAW The KING is, in which case ignore that first line and bask in the ever increasing admiration I have for you. Bloody hell you didn`t think this thread was about you Moose?
Na not you Moose, but somebody did, hur hur hur.
Who the fuck`s bob_numbers?
GCU Grey Area says
07/07/2017 at 19:40
Bob numbers was a blogger here, whose avatar was something like @bob_32_64_128 . He or she often seemed to get the wrong end of the stick, and announced her/his flouncing at regular intervals. I liked bob (best said in a Blackadder B-o-b). Someone gave her/him the nickname ‘bob numbers’, which I think was lovely. Not as genius as ‘Forks’ though, for another blogger missing in action (though still on facebeurrrkkkk).
08/07/2017 at 17:18
Thought it was Bob_48_23_38_OneHelluvaRegion.
Perhaps I was mistaken.
08/07/2017 at 17:31
He was so far ahead, it was beautiful!
Kid Dynamite says
08/07/2017 at 18:04
Sure it wasn’t Bob_42_39_56_youcouldsayhe’sgotitall?
Sewer Robot says
07/07/2017 at 19:53
BN forgotten? It’s Ozymandius all over again:
“Observe me flounce you ingrates and despair!”
“Oh, alright I’ll come back then”
“How very dare you Sir! I’m orf. For good, this time. For keepsies. Pinkyswear! Sorry yet?
Oh, how could I stay mad at a whole site. Just.. y’know, be gentle with m-
Dammit! I don’t have to put up with this sh*t”.
And just like that he was gone
07/07/2017 at 20:09
Numbers was a rank amateur among serial flouncers. For real revolving door attention-seeking you can’t look past Mr C and the yo-yo boyo.
07/07/2017 at 20:05
No. Who is Denis Law? Is he a Soccer Football player? And what is the ManUnitedChester Uniteds?
Please refrain from referring in any way to anything that has ever happened in the British Isles, it may confuse people from elsewhere who wander into to the site for ten minutes and then fuck off again for no apparent reason.
MC Escher says
07/07/2017 at 19:17
Perhaps putting that link in the OP would have removed any ambiguity altogether? Worth thinking about.
07/07/2017 at 19:31
But we had fun with Da Kult of HP didn’t we?
I did, anyway.
The man himself is totally indifferent, which makes it even funner IMHO.
08/07/2017 at 01:48
Well nice to know things are all tickety boo. I query the flouncer appellation to Mr C who is active on the FB page. He seems to wander off and wander back as whim takes him. A flounce is fuck you lot and the horses you rode in on. With this characterisation Bob numbers, who I think came from Sydney, would repeatedly crack the shits and do a public, and this is important, a public flounce pretty much to general disinterest then he’d be back again – only to do it again. Now that’s a serial flouncer.
Bob numbers, I salute you.
08/07/2017 at 19:06
Following one of his multiple flounces he posted a ‘I have redeemed thyself for you ingrates’ type contribution adding his general disinterest for the blog and vaguely added that if he was ‘offended’ again he would ‘leave’ (sniff).
I posted to suggest he should just ‘fuck off’, for no other reason than his self regard was becoming tedious.
I was ‘told off’ by the mods.
I was so proud. Such an admonishment I had not experienced since 4th year.
Bob numbers. Come back. We can explain everything. We can do it all again.
08/07/2017 at 19:18
And Dennis Law was ace.
07/07/2017 at 07:50
Beatles! Sweden! Kittens!
Come on guys, we’re not defeated yet! We can still hold it back!
07/07/2017 at 10:17
Didn`t The Beatles perform `Leave My Kitten Alone` when they played Kungliga Tennishallen, Stockholm, Sweden in 1963?
07/07/2017 at 10:44
07/07/2017 at 20:22
Last year, mrs duco and myself were at Kunliga Tennishallen to spectate at the Stockholm Open tennis tournament. in the corridor to the lavatories, they have the original poster for the Beatles gig there in 1963, which is quite interesting.
A few years ago, in that very corridor, I bumped into Stefan Edberg on my way to the bog. No – it’s true!
07/07/2017 at 21:30
It’s a small world duco, I was wondering about the name of the hall, thoughts confirmed, obviously.
07/07/2017 at 08:28
Just start a couple of lists Baron – I suggest ‘Songs By Bands Or Artists You Like’ and ‘Things You Can See’. That’ll get rid of him again.
07/07/2017 at 10:14
Rid, rid, rid? Get rid of whom? Smiley Face!
07/07/2017 at 08:31
A review of the new box set by blonde songstress Sigur Smorgasbord is in order.
07/07/2017 at 10:35
Wasn`t that the “Smorgasbord Syndrome” Box Set? It only has one CD here`s the track list below:
1) “Ég trúi”
2) “Þú munt aldrei fara einn`
3) “Ég mun vera með þér í`
5) “Með þessum höndum”
6) “Setjið handleggina um mig, elskan”
8) `Sem grét”
9) “Ég mun sjá þig í draumum mínum”
10) “Fangelsi koma með mig vatn”
11) `Майната на HP`
07/07/2017 at 10:41
She’s gone sooo lamestream. I am disappoint.
07/07/2017 at 11:34
Very nice try Baron! But track number 2 was a dead give-away.
Those of us who have been following Sigur since here days as the singer with the Sugarlumps, know that she would never do a Gerry and the Pacemakers cover.
07/07/2017 at 18:04
Ha Ha, I though you would spot it KFD or one of our other Scandinavian residents.
Lodestone of Wrongness says
07/07/2017 at 20:41
My father’s uncle was Denis Law’s grandfather so I think that makes me Denis’s blood-brother? I have lived that fantasy since 1963.
On the other hand I once met a woman who once met a man who met a a dwarf in a bar in County Antrim who claimed HP owed him £10. I think that makes me HP’s blood-brother? I have lived that fantasy since earlier today.
07/07/2017 at 21:32
We all have our crosses to bare, only joking, put those knives away AWers!
07/07/2017 at 21:38
Mrs Moose was once propositioned by Ken Cope, does this mean I am Bernard Bresslaw?
I hope so.
07/07/2017 at 21:50
My ex wife went to school with Julian Cope is he related to Ken?
08/07/2017 at 02:52
Oh, I knew it was about Dennis Law all along. Of all his sycophants – he is known for his sycophants – I am amongst his greatest. Sycophants.
08/07/2017 at 11:43
I get it you thought the KING reference was about YOU.
Never stood on the terraces on the Stretford End did you? (awaits sarcastic and unfunny piece on football). As a boy this is were I stood with fellow sychophants (as King Dennis`s fans were known, I hoped a few more would be around, but then again we are, literally, a dying breed).
You sir have a head the size of Jupiter and an ego of equal stature.
08/07/2017 at 11:57
Hasn’t taken long has it ?
How about you 2 ignore each other as it always ends in tears.
By the by Rob C passed on a message that he has had trouble logging in but passes on his regards to all.
08/07/2017 at 13:15
Oh hang on, Mr Wells. I didn’t initially respond to this piece (because it didn’t occur to me that it might be about me) until after I read all the other comments from readers who’d immediately thought it was. Check the time of the comments, if you can be arsed.
And Barry scuppers his “no no ha ha it’s really about Dennis Law” swerve by adding this:
“Rid, rid, rid? Get rid of whom? Smiley Face!”
and later he charmingly trolls this:
“You sir have a head the size of Jupiter and an ego of equal stature.”
… if he hadn’t meant it to be about me (as everybody else assumed) he’d be a) joining in the harmless fun with the other commenters or b) posting a clarification before I responded (plenty of opportunity there). But he shows his true colours by posting something that reads like a particularly deranged Trump Toilet Tweet.
(Big kiss, Barry. Big kiss.)
08/07/2017 at 13:25
Not to mention no. 11, which is google translatable.
08/07/2017 at 13:46
When it comes to `trolling` you sir really are the `KING`, go back and read your insults not just to me but to many others on the AW. I am not the only one you have insulted in the past. It is all there for all to see.
I apologise to other AWers who have been drawn into this. I have a number of friends from the AW who I am now friends with in the real world who know my true personality. They will also know my reasons.
08/07/2017 at 18:06
That may be true, but you are coming across as a tiny bit of a nob-end on this thread, sadly.
08/07/2017 at 13:18
I thought Rob had spit the dummy because an Afterworder had refused to follow him on Twitter, or some similar slight. There was a big grumble about it on the Flouncers on Facebook page.
Martin Hairnet says
08/07/2017 at 17:45
I was never partial to the Law of Dennis, at least not so long as it came coloured red. But in his twilight years, when he rejoined City, I do recall a soupçon of sycophancy when he back-heeled that goal at the Scoreboard End.
08/07/2017 at 13:24
Christ, this is embarrassing.
08/07/2017 at 13:35
08/07/2017 at 13:39
Are you giving me the finger young man?
08/07/2017 at 14:20
It was an up/this. I might stick to words from now on 😉
08/07/2017 at 13:58
Sigh. I’m a lover not a fighter on this blog.
Yes I raised it and I did find Baron’s explanation unconvincing. If it was about a dead person why king is back rather than king is dead. I found no reference to Denis what his names fans as sycophants whereas I know some regard enjoyers of your writing as part of a clique and as sycophants. And the other quips seemed to be another niggle. I can also recall the rather ugly exchanges in days gone by so for mine it doesn’t take much to come to the conclusion I did and I suspect others did also by not contributing to the thread.
But after flagging it I realised that when antagonised HP will respond vigorously. So I hoped to play a dead but but the big head / ego stuff put paid to that.
A pity I enjoy BH’s contributions as I enjoy your own. That’s why I said ignore each other. You will say “Barry started it, I only responded”. BH will continue to deny it was a nearly thread solely aimed at you and the welcoming you got and if you do think it is about you then that confirms my view of you as a narcissist.
So where does that leave us ?
I hate this shit. I prefer to sit around the campfire singing kumbaya and I wish you 2 did too – just maybe separate campfires.
BTW. I won’t be able to follow up on this. Some dramas , step daughter hospitalised while on school excursion so Mrs Wells has to fly out so gotta go
08/07/2017 at 14:56
You make a lot of sense Junior and to you I apologise personally and truly hope your step-daughter is going to be OK.
On the Denis Law subject of, we were as the older lads called us the coach going to away games `The St. Helens sycophnts of King Denis`. You can take that or leave it.
I was unaware of the other gentleman`s followers being referred to as sycophants and I apologise, again, to them for drawing them into this. I was aware that he would, knowing his past, think the thread was about him. For that I don`t apologise. I cannot be responsible for another`s presumptions.
I have been a member of the AW community since it was originally started, to say I have not crossed swords with others would be untrue but countable on one hand. I would never or have meant any insult to another at any time. If I have offended anyone I have apologised and would only do so if I meant it.
When someone disagrees with anotherb on here, no problem 99% of the time. When someone puts another down, insults and belittles them that is unforgivable. I have been on the receiving end of this from this person(I refer to him as `person` because I don`t know who he is) more than once as have others. The problem for me is I don`t forget. That`s enough, I`ve wasted enough of your time go back to the other threads or the tennis or your music or whatever you`re happy with.
08/07/2017 at 18:13
Hang on, Denis Law’s been having a go at you on the Afterword?
I am disappointed but not surprised. The site has form for this sort of thing, as anyone who remembers the time John Virgo called me a “speccy four-eyes” will attest. And the whole JPR Williams / Niscum thing is best left well alone. Nobody came out of that one looking good.
08/07/2017 at 14:00
One last thing Rob C said he is not a flouncer unquote. He just comes and goes along the lines I described. Admittedly something may trigger a break.
Anyway ciao. Let’s focus on Bri’s post on the joys of the blog 😉
08/07/2017 at 14:30
Bloody hell, I fly back to the UK and all this blows up! As Bri so rightly said yesterday this site is most often a thing of real joy. No idea why Baron got the hump so quickly- seems very, very petty to me.
Not that it will mean a jot to HP but I did a rather ungainly jig of delight when I realised he was back (for how long, how long?)
08/07/2017 at 14:51
Look, my experience is almost exclusively that people are much nicer in real life than online. Our online selves aren’t our “real” selves: they’re incredibly one-dimensional. Drawing conclusions about someone’s personality from what they write on the internet is about as reliable as deciding whether or not to be mates with someone based on the write up from their work appraisal.
I speak from experience here. I know that there are a couple of folk on here who’ve never met me and who think all kinds of quite shockingly negative things about me based on their interpretation of one tiny facet of myself that they’ve seen on a few blog posts. I know they think this: I’ve got the PMs. I’ve definitely not enjoyed how I’ve come across sometimes, or the unpleasantness that has sometimes arisen from that. But I’ve never ever intended to be rude or unkind, and most of the times people have had the hump with me it’s because they’ve assumed anger or meanness in what I’ve written that really wasn’t there. (One former blogger in particular seemed to have a huge personal animus. I won’t pretend I’m not a bit hurt and bewildered by that, since I genuinely don’t have any enemies in meat-world.)
Similarly, HP has hardly been shy about his opinions in the past but to my knowledge has never had a personal pop at anyone except when reciprocating. He doesn’t start it. Sometimes people don’t understand irony or tone on the internet and think he’s being a twat when he’s quite obviously (at least to me) gently teasing.
Sorry, rambling. But genuinely, I think its best to assume good faith from other posters, and nobody ever went to their grave thinking “god I wish I’d held more grudges”. Nobody is the arsehole you think they are.
And for my money it’s always good to see HP on this site. The fucking wanker.
08/07/2017 at 15:02
I agree Bob. There was something about you of which I had a misconception. What changed this was something you posted recently, nothing world shatterig, but those few words made me realise I was wrong.
08/07/2017 at 15:12
Ah that’s very kind to say so, Baron. I realised that I haven’t exactly been your fave but since we didn’t usually have that much to do with each other due to rarely-coinciding tastes, it didn’t seem worth making anything of it. FWIW, you’ve always seemed a decent cove to me, if perhaps a bit quick to anger on occasion! Like I say, I’m trying to just assume that mostly, people are good people, just by extrapolating out from the fact that I do my level best to move through the world doing no harm, but occasionally inadvertently end up doing so by mistake. This last year has calmed me down a lot, and also made me care a lot less than I used to about “winning”.
It’s almost always true: people are generally pretty cool.
08/07/2017 at 16:40
True again Bob, you have me down to a `T`, better stop this love-in now before some more AWers get the wrong ideas.
08/07/2017 at 15:17
I thought this was a subsidiary thread to the irritating band names thread. For King L.
08/07/2017 at 17:34
What, this is actually serious?
Have a word you muppits!
Freddy Steady says
08/07/2017 at 21:27
Can I raise a practical question at this point………
08/07/2017 at 21:46
NO, WE’RE NOT GOING TO FUCKING POST ON THIS THREAD!
09/07/2017 at 01:02
Y’know, I’ve been re-reading the comments, and the “OP” (as tech-savvy teens say) and it’s blindingly obvious it’s about newsworthy, vibrant me. Barry was the only one dragging dull old Dennis Law (star of TV’s “The Minder”) into it, late in the day when he got embarrassed that everyone knew he thought I was The King. So this next bit’s for him, and the rest of you must consider it as a PM and look the other way, okay?
Barry – it’s okay! Really it is. I thought at first you were being sarcastic and setting a cunning little trap, but on mature reflection your affection and regard for me shine through your clumsy, hesitant prose to reveal a man conflicted by his passions. It’s okay for one man to have a crush on another, Barry! It’s understandable that this potent stew of hormonal activity – strange, perhaps a little exciting! – has caused you to make rather a fool of yourself. Cheer up! If nothing else, your Thread About Me has attracted more reads and comments than all your other pieces Not About Me. You’ve made quite a name for yourself, Barry! Set out your stall! For my part, I apologise for calling you sarcastic (ouch! that must have hurt!) and a humourless great twat – oh, wait – I don’t think I actually called you that – maybe I just thought it. Which I apologise for. Not nice! Naughty Saucecraft!
What I suggest is, to cover your tracks if you still feel that necessary, you start a DENNIS LAW IS BACK, BACK – BACK! thread, absolutely unambigious, non-trolling, and we’ll all put this little episode behind us. I know I am always The King in your eyes, and proud to be so!
09/07/2017 at 09:50
Clumsy, hesitant prose, hur, hur, hut, you are such a wit Saucy.
You lovable rogue.
Right I’m going to be reading other threads now, including your own Saucy. This hasn’t turned out as I intended and as MC stated above I have come across as a nob end (not for the first time MC, but on the other hand I have often shone in the real world).
I submit Saucy, (how did you know my name was Barry?) that in the wordsmith world you are the Barcelona to my Birmingham (no offence @SteveT😁).
I also acknowledge your popularity with some AWers so I was on a loser here from the off, no matter what my intent may have been.
Believe it or not I have read a couple of your books but something on the AW prevented me from reading any more.
I also acknowledge that I do, too often for my own good react without thinking. So I am leaving the last word to you Saucy. Plunge your dagger deep ”tis only an alternate world that dosen’t really exist.*
Peace and love to you in your Asian paradise.
*Sorry about the ‘clumsy hesitant prose’.
09/07/2017 at 10:01
Good skills Bazza, and apologies for the slur. Don’t post drunk, kids.
09/07/2017 at 10:04
Back at you. Really. Your piece was actually very clever – you only gave the game away with that winky-face. If we were in the same room I’d give you a manly hug. Well, perhaps a manly punch on the upper arm.
(Bob would get the poke in the eye he’s always deserved.)
09/07/2017 at 12:36
Top post Baron. Takes a big man, etc. Amazing how years of resentment can be dispelled with a few words. No point carrying that stuff around.
09/07/2017 at 01:37
*rubs eyes, yawns, rubs eyes again… nervously opens King is back thread*
Thanks for your thoughts Baron. As I said HP has had always returned fire with both barrrels, nay a machine gun when he feels slighted. And you have a vivid memory of those exchanges so I can’t help thinking what did you think would happen here? Surely the likelihood would be a another rancorous exchange with someone who has posted one thread since returning. Why stir the pot? I do think HPs turn of phrase can be a force for bad not good when he gets his ginger up but I can’t recall an incident where he has actually started a blog brawl. Escalated one – well that’s another thing.
Back to the stepdaughter Ruby. She was trekking in the frigging Himalayas. 4 hours at night on a stretcher just to get to a road. Now down at low altitude she seems to be staying conscious. So the money is on high altitude pulmonary edema though it kicked in at a surprisingly low altitude 2300 metres. She was with a school group managed byWorld Chalenge. May I say if this UK based mob run things at a school an AWs kids attend I’ve got nothing but praise for the attention, communications, co-ordination etc.
Hey up. Call from India.
As Jeff Fenech the Aussie boxer would say ” love youse all “
09/07/2017 at 02:20
Fingers crossed, mate.
As for the rest, pfffft. I raise my teacup to the storm.
09/07/2017 at 02:34
Cheers Mike see you next week.
09/07/2017 at 08:49
You shouldn’t assume that I’m tossed on the stormy waters of an internet argument, Junior, nor that your self-appointed stance of Reasonable See-Both-Sides Ref separating two brawling toddlers is always appropriate. As to “thinking I’m being slighted” – I wasn’t the only one, and it was your comment I first responded to, where you suspected some trolling was going on. So the argument I should ignore him also applies to you. Why should I keep out of a thread that everyone knows (suspects/infers/believes etc.) is about me? Don’t think that your lofty above-it-all position isn’t shared by me, either. It’s a game, mate. A word game. Raising my teacup to the storm with a disinterested pfffft here, too.
09/07/2017 at 09:15
I acknowledged that I flagged the “narkiness”. I was pissed off as I thought it was unnecessary and inflammatory so I’d expect to multiply that emotion if I were you reading it. I was really referring to ongoing participation, not your right to respond on this thread.
Self appointed ? I suppose so and on that basis I self-withdraw from that role.
No, please don’t. You’re generally a very calming influence here when it’s needed.
09/07/2017 at 10:14
Cheers HP, I didn’t intend to be sanctimonious though I see it could have come across like that.
09/07/2017 at 08:38
@Junior Wells hope she is okay. Going to Nepal and Bhutan in a couple of months so quite scary although highest we are going is Tigers Nest in Bhutan at 3200metres but it is an up and a down in same day.
My brother suffered the same as your stepdaughter in Peru and was in hospital for a week.
09/07/2017 at 08:50
Thanks @SteveT . I’m gathering that this is something that affects you or it doesn’t. Presumably if you’ve been to that altitude then maybe you are ok for good??? They suggested take altitude sickness pills before the trek but she didn’t take them. No idea if it would have made any difference.This World Challenge Mob have got her in a suite at the private hospital now – two bathrooms – two, count em ,couches etc. The teacher and WC person have been with her all the way so it is pretty good support. I am not sure she realises it is all over red rover for the expedition for her- and that is going to be ugly.
Thanks again for the thoughts.
09/07/2017 at 09:11
All the best mate. Pretty scary
09/07/2017 at 09:16
Happy she’s OK Junior. The location must have added to your anxiety so your relief must be palpable. Take care.
09/07/2017 at 09:26
Well, the irony is that, most of the time, she hates my guts. Her twin sister fine, but not her. Not being her father and all. I’m more disappointed for her than anything.
09/07/2017 at 11:23
I’m a bit late to this JW but hope she’s ok anyway. I haven’t experienced the disquieted parent experience, but have done an extended wilderness trip as an occasionally overwrought teacher. Good to hear the school stepped up to the mark.
09/07/2017 at 11:36
The teachers on this trip are certainly earning their keep and I’m sure didn’t expect to be spending sleepless nights in rudimentary waiting rooms.
Think I am okay at altitude or I was in Bolivia Nepal and Ecuador although we are not going anywhere the same heights. Peru and Bolivia were 20 years ago and I am an old fucker now. But an old fucked who hasn’t smoked for 15 years so hopefully ok.
09/07/2017 at 08:55
Turned out nice again
I’d just like to say I hope you stick around Mr HP. You’ve been missed. And I’m curious about how come you’ve plonked your internet self back here. I recall your description of rather appalling family stuff on a previous occasion. Hope all’s well. Or OK. Or something
09/07/2017 at 09:57
Thanks, Mousey. I’m back because I’ve reached a point in my book where I need teh lulz, which was always what I came here for anyway. It’s a distraction. Also because my trusty sidekick and internet amanuensis Valparaiso A. (14) is too busy flinging woo at some moonstruck gal to continue our lengthy correspondence for a while, the dizzy fool that he is. Family life is fine and dandy; the Boy Who Died Twice Already is looking forward to his National Service at the end of the year, for which he passed the physical – quite an achievement. Thank you for asking.
09/07/2017 at 12:45
I thought woo was only ever pitched. Is flinging simply more informal? I must know.
Dave Amitri says
09/07/2017 at 10:10
All I’ll say is that we need all the contributors we can get and it’s very easy to ignore someone if you must. God help us if it all becomes stale and repetitive 🙂
09/07/2017 at 12:13
Right I`ve done with this thread/blog.
There are more entertaining things going on here.
09/07/2017 at 13:36
I don’t check in for a few days -and “this” happens. hey – nice to hear from you HP – good to hear the family is doing well. Hope the Kindle is hanging in there for you.
09/07/2017 at 16:26
View post on imgur.com
09/07/2017 at 21:42
Haven’t bothered with the site much for ages. But I will be doing now…
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