I heard Mary’s Prayer by Danny Wilson on the radio the other day. There’s a part of the lyrics where he says, “I used to be so careless/As if I couldn’t care less”… Hang on a minute, Danny boy, that’s what careless means, doesn’t it? What the devil are you on about?
What other slightly baffling lyrics are out there?
Neela says
“Tonight there’s gonna be a jailbreak, somewhere in this town.”
What do you mean ‘somewhere’? If there’s not more than one jail, I think we’ve pretty much cracked the case.
Gary says
Lynott grew up Dublin and lived in London -both with more than one prison. This lyric has often been cited here as being a bit dippy, but as someone who grew up in London, with it’s loadsa prisons all over the place, it never struck me as odd.
Gary says
I’ve noticed that I wrote “it’s” instead of “its” in this post. I want to kill myself. Or at least I did, until it came to my attention that the 45th President of the United States America, Leader of the Free World and host of The Apprentice also made the same “mistake”. Now I feel proud.
minibreakfast says
I saw the same mistake in a book today. A book!
Moose the Mooche says
Was it a book by Allan Jones by any chance?
I bet it was. It’s the kind of shitty thing he would do. The bastard.
fentonsteve says
My kids are doing a sponsored walk at school tomorrow. The covering letter from the teacher – yes, that’s a teacher – informs us parents that the fancy dress theme this year is…
Superhero’s.
Does anyone have the phone number for Eton?
Mike_H says
If that was their English teacher, the sooner you get them out of there the better.
bobness says
The correct response is surely to reply and ask “superhero’s what?”. Then, if there’s still no flicker, immediately move to another county.
Gatz says
I’m not convinced by either of the above. ‘I couldn’t care less’ is surely different from ‘I am careless’, and I have no problem with the jailbreak being metaphorical.
Less easy to excuse is Vanessa William’s Save the Best for last. It’s not a song I think about often, but when I do I’m struck by ‘Sometimes the snow comes down in June /
Sometimes the Sun goes round the Moon’. The first can certainly happen, and may not even be remarkable depending on where you are on the planet. The Sun thing? Not so much.
Lemonhope says
What’s the jailbreak a metaphor of [for]? Not being a dick, I just always assumed it was about an actual jailbreak.
Gatz says
General riotous behaviour? I read the whole thing as an extended metaphor, but confess I’ve never submitted it to deep analysis.
Milkybarnick says
Always makes me think of gravy, that song.
chiz says
Former Word favourite David Ford has a line, in the song One of These Days, which is about a break-up:
You can go your way, and I’ll do the same
So… we’re both going the same way, then.
JustB says
I’m Not So Manic Now (which I now know is a cover) has bloody awful lyrics that are trying way too hard to be literary.
“The doorbell strangely rang”? What, it quacked? Did John Fashanu’s AWOOOOOGAH noise? No, you mean “strangely, the doorbell rang”, which doesn’t scan, so write something else, you donut.
“A younger man, 25, advantageously took away her pride”. You really don’t mean advantageously. Stop it.
Gatz says
If weird syntax is a criterion then make way for Heart. English is a very forgiving language with regard to how it allows sections of sentences to be moved around, but Heart take it beyond reasonable limits in These Dreams:
The sweetest song is silence,
That I’ve ever heard.
Funny how your feet,
In dreams, never touch the earth.
Is this really too difficult to sing? The scansion is different but not unmanageable.
Silence is the sweetest song
That I’ve ever heard.
Funny how in dreams
Your feet never touch the earth.
Moose the Mooche says
There’s another one in Not So Manic Now, “The puny structure of an ageing OAP”.
Correct me if I’m wrong but if you’re an OAP aren’t you ageing by definition.
….nonetheless, nice to have two mentions of the ‘Star in a few days on here. Loved ’em.
Bingo Little says
There’s no such thing as young people. Just old people you haven’t met yet.
Lemonhope says
Arf!
chiz says
Isn’t everyone, irrespective of age, ageing?
Gary says
Not Judith Chalmers.
Bingo Little says
Everyone except Keanu.
Gary says
Out of Eastenders?
Bingo Little says
What is “Eastenders”?
Gary says
Here’s the bit where Keanu stand up for he family. (“She fixed on if her bra straps” is Ashley’s wise comment on this.)
Bingo Little says
Gary says
Pfff. I’ve aged better than him. (But then I was better looking to begin with).
Bingo Little says
It’s not a competition, Gary.
Gary says
Wanna bet?
Gary says
And here’s the bit where Keanu want to help he family.
davebigpicture says
That looks glamorous.
fitterstoke says
Not Carol Kirkwood.
Leicester Bangs says
I LOVE Not So Manic Now. I can put up with almost any lyrical indiscretions easily because it’s a pop song with insanely dark subject matter (an old lady is either mugged or raped) and that’s a genre I adore.
But I had no idea it was a cover! Who did the original?
seanioio says
It was Brick Supply I believe @LeicesterBangs Here is a link – It’s not as good as the Dubstar version IMHO (Although I do adore Dubstar so this does nto say much)
Leicester Bangs says
That’s a revelation. Thanks!
fentonsteve says
I think the Mary’s Prayer thing is an example of Gary Clark searching for a rhyme for “careless” and giving up. If he’d waited a few years, he could have used “and now my head is hairless” which would be factually correct, if a little out of context.
I’ll just pop this one in, as it always sticks in my craw, although I know I’ve mentioned it on here before… From Heaven 17’s ‘Come Live With Me’:
“I was 37, you were 17.
You were half my age, the youth I’d never seen”
Glenn, did you learn nothing from your maths teacher? Half of 37 = 18.5, now write it out 100 times.
chiz says
On the subject of running out of things to rhyme with a word, it’s amazing how little flak Leonard Cohn has taken over the years for “Outdrewyah’ and ‘Overthrewyah’
Mike_H says
Heaven 17 could so easily have corrected that too.
“I was 37, you were 17.
Less than half my age, the youth I’d never seen”
Gatz says
Another one that has never bothered me. Surely ‘half my age’ is a general indication of the age gap and is commonly used in that way, not a precise calculation. Altogether now, ‘You were 0.46 (rounded to 2 decimal places) of my age, the youth I’d never seen.’
geacher says
“So I turned around and 40,000 headmen hit the dirt, firing 20 shotguns each, and man that really hurt, but luckily for me they had to stop and reload, and by the time they’d done that I was heading down the road.”
That’s 800,000 shotguns… and they all missed.
Likely story.
Carl says
It was the psychedelic era and at that time the members of Traffic were taking acid for breakfast, dinner and tea.
Mike_H says
Definitely on something there, I reckon.
Gary says
I hate the word “even” in Sting’s line “They would kill me for a cigarette, but I don’t even want to die just yet” from Invisible Sun. It doesn’t belong there. It jars.
JustB says
I hate
the word “even” inSting’s line “They would kill me for a cigarette, but I don’t even want to die just yet” from Invisible Sun. It doesn’t belong there. It jars.Fixed.
dai says
Sting is a serial offender, ever listen to his rhymes?
Gary says
Fo’ sho’. I’m among the many who consider Russians the worst lyric of all time. Not to mention “the old man in that book by Nabakov”. Oops, just did. Ouch.
davebigpicture says
I would refer my learned friend to “Classic” by Adrian Gurvitz. A close contender IMHO.
Carl says
Gary, you are correct. Russians manages the not inconsiderable feat of combining not only being the worst lyric of all time with being the most patronising lyric of all time.
The video was shit too.
Milkybarnick says
“She left me when my drinking became a proper stinging” troubles me because it’s just a weird choice of words, but then what else would fit?
dai says
A better line, maybe? The lyrics to Up the Junction are extremely clunky, but carried along by a great story, melody and performance.
Milkybarnick says
I think that hits the nail on the head – marvellous song with one wince-worthy moment.
Carolina says
This morning at four fifty
I took her rather nifty
Down to an incubator
Where thirty minutes later
She gave birth to a daughter
Within a year a walker
You would take her to the Maternity department, wouldn’t you, not an incubator. I don’t think anyone has ever given birth there. Still a brilliant song though. Love the rhyme “nifty” and “four fifty”. I only realized recently the lyrics were “a walker”. Had always heard in my head as a-walka and been baffled.
Baron Counterpane says
That bit always annoyed me because of the careless switch of the narrator’s frame of reference. Is he telling the story on the day his daughter was born or more than a year later?
Locust says
It could be a proud prediction from the new dad!
Doesn’t make the lyric any better, however.
Twang says
“The DA said he was the one who did the deed
And the all white jury agreed”
But Hurricane still went down, despite this astonishing confession. Outrage!
dai says
“If I was a sculptor, but then again, no…”, the “genius” of Bernie Taupin.
Gary says
I imagine that’s one of the verses that got him quite cross.
JustB says
Bernie Taupin has the highest talent:reward ratio of any human in the history of humans. Apart from Trump.
(I think we can just about take “except Trump” as read when saying someone is the worst example of anything, can’t we?)
davebigpicture says
Allegedly worth $70m.* Pretty impressive really. Would Reg have been as successful with someone else writing the lyrics?
*According to the first site I clicked on.
dai says
I think he might have been
geacher says
Disagree about Taupin. From “Come Down In Time”
“There are women and women,
And some hold you tight
While some leave you counting the stars in the night…..”
Bingo Little says
I’m going to nominate the entirety of Where The Hood At by DMX.
It’s a classic record, but if you actually look at the lyrics, they’re a little jarring, comprised as they are of about 50% homophobic threats, and 50% suggestions that “X” is all about raping other dudes.
Somehow, in the space of a couple of minutes, we get from the (charming) “I show no love to homo thugs… how you gon’ explain fucking a man/even if we squash the beef/I ain’t touchin his hand” to “since we all here, you hold my dick while he’s sucking it”.
It’s one of the most confused, possibly self-loathing, records ever made. The fact that it’s also a classic “men being manly” tune but it contains a lyric about literally jisming in the face of an opponent also adds to the dissonance.
JustB says
I seem to remember you once calling out the MAGNIFICENT Robyn once, too, because of the completely insane advice she gives all the way through “Call Your Girlfriend”.
“Say it’s not her fault, but you just met somebody new”. Yeah, that’ll work.
“Tell her not to get upset”. Also, likely.
“And then when she gets upset” – so you admit that your previous advice was balls – “tell her how you never meant to hurt no-one”: WHAT? Fast track to a bunch of fives, that one, m8.
“Tell her that the only way her heart will mend is when she learns to love again” – sure, by all means tell her that if you want her to beat you to death over the course of several days using nothing but a Hallmark card.
“And it won’t make sense right now, but she’s still your friend” – I think she can be the judge of that, don’t you? I don’t fancy your chances.
“And then you let her down easy.” Sure, THEN is the time to be nice, after being by turns brutal, passive-aggressive, cowardly and a massive bag of clichés. Let her down easy? I’d be astonished if you make it that far through the conversation without ABH.
Bingo Little says
Robyn invented mansplaining.
In fact, she invented mansplaining a breakup to your ex. Which should probably be called “explaining”. Credit me if you use that term.
minibreakfast says
I always read that song as Robs fantasising about having such a conversation with a happily attached, totally unattainable guy, hence the ludicrous, never-gonna-happen nature of the lyrics. I can hear her desperation. She’ll never even talk to him, let alone get him to cheat with her.
Bingo Little says
Theory: Call Your Girlfriend and Dancing On My Own are two parts of the same story. The former is from the perspective of the home wrecker, the latter from the perspective of her victim.
And Where The Hood At is the bloke’s perspective.
Leicester Bangs says
Ooh, and she is, after all, ‘dancing on her own’ in the video.
Bingo Little says
Dem lyrics, for context….
CALL YOUR GIRLFRIEND
Call your girlfriend
It’s time you had the talk
Give your reasons
Say it’s not her fault
But you just met somebody new
Tell her not to get upset, second-guessing everything you said and done
And then when she gets upset tell her how you never mean to hurt no one
Then you tell her that the only way her heart will mend is when she learns to love again
And it won’t make sense right now but you’re still her friend
And then you let her down easy
Call your girlfriend
It’s time you had the talk
Give your reasons
Say it’s not her fault
But you just met somebody new
Don’t you tell her how I give you something that you never even knew you missed
Don’t you even try and explain how it’s so different when we kiss
And you just tell her that the only way her heart will mend is when she learns to love again
And it won’t make sense right now but you’re still her friend
And then you let her down easy
Call your girlfriend
It’s time you had the talk
Give your reasons
Say it’s not her fault
But you just met somebody new
And now it’s gonna be me and you
And you tell her that the only way her heart will mend is when she learns to love again
And it won’t make sense right now but you’re still her friend
And then you let her down easy
Call your girlfriend
It’s time you had the talk
Give your reasons
Say it’s not her fault
Call your girlfriend
It’s time you had the talk
Give your reasons
Say it’s not her fault
But you just met somebody new
DANCING ON MY OWN
Somebody said you got a new friend
Does she love you better than I can?
There’s a big black sky over my town
I know where you’re at, I bet she’s around
Yeah, I know it’s stupid
I just gotta see it for myself
I’m in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohh
I’m right over here, why can’t you see me, ohh
I’m giving it my all, but I’m not the girl you’re taking home, ooo
I keep dancing on my own (I keep dancing on my own)
I’m just gonna dance all night
I’m all messed up, I’m so out of line
Stilettos and broken bottles
I’m spinning around in circles
I’m in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohh
I’m right over here, why can’t you see me, ohh
I’m giving it my all, but I’m not the girl you’re taking home, ooo
I keep dancing on my own (I keep dancing on my own)
So far away, but still so near
The lights go on, the music dies
But you don’t see me standing here
I just came to say goodbye
I’m in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohh
I’m giving it my all, but I’m not the girl you’re taking home, ohh
I keep dancing on my own (I keep dancing on my own)
I’m in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohh
I’m right over here, why can’t you see me, ohh
I’m giving it my all, but I’m not the girl you’re taking home, ooo
I keep dancing on my own (I keep dancing on my own)
I keep dancing on my own
Moose the Mooche says
Security! Get this crazy person out of my room!!
minibreakfast says
No, it’s the same character in both. She’s besotted, jealous, possibly stalker-esque, and as far as he’s concerned, invisible.
Note in DOMO she sings “Does she love you better than I ‘can'”, not ‘do’ or even ‘did’.
Bingo Little says
Hmmm… it works both ways, but the fact that one song ends “You just met somebody new” and the other begins “Somebody said you’ve got a new friend” is just too tidy for me not to conclude that the “new” person is the same in both songs.
“Does she love you better than I can” works either way.
If only the videos were a bit more literal…
minibreakfast says
I haven’t watched the videos, but I like to think that yes, he’s got someone new, but that doesn’t mean Robyn is the ‘old’. She’s been watching him, obsessing over him and his relationships and fantasising about being with him for yonks, but in reality he doesn’t even know she exists.
But that’s just the way I choose to hear it. Sweet, painful pop music.
Lemonhope says
Doesn’t ‘can’ just sound better after the previous line ends with ‘friend’ ?
minibreakfast says
Well yes. But to me it also means that she’s not yet had the opportunity to love him. And by ‘love’ him I mean ‘shag’ him, probably.
Bingo Little says
Alternatively, maybe the line is actually “Does she love you better than I, Can”?
Robyn is querying whether the geezer’s new paramour is a bigger krautrock fan than she is.
duco01 says
Did I ever mention that, about 3 years ago, Mrs duco and I sat at the next table to Robyn at a restaurant in Gamla Stan in Stockholm? She was having dinner with her mum!
Moose the Mooche says
Tchuh. Girls are only after one thing.
Bingo Little says
Yeah, Krautrock.
Moose the Mooche says
They just can’t wait to get their hands on my Conrad Schnitzler.
Billybob Dylan says
“Oh, I get the shivers
I don’t want to see a ghost,
It’s a sight that I fear most
I’d rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news”
Lemonhope says
I think that falls under the first category – just bad
There’s another song with either ghost & toast or ghost & most – can’t remember what it is!
DrJ says
Tender by blur? “The ghost I love the most…”
Lemonhope says
indeed!
Black Celebration says
I think the careless/care less line is quite clever. “Careless” is clumsy and perhaps lackadaisical (cheers) and “care less” is describing a state of mind where you don’t care about someone or something.
And with Sting, the use of the word “even” is to indicate that – surprisingly – he doesn’t want to die just yet, even though things are so miserable.
Gary says
Not buying that, BC. You’re saying that “even though things are so miserable” is the implication. But it’s not. At all. If I said “I’m-a-gonna kill you” you’d whimper “But I don’t wanna die just yet!”. There’d be no “even”.
Moose the Mooche says
It’s about Northern Ireland, so you would be actually saying, “I’m gonna kill ye, so I am”.
To which Sting would no doubt reply, “Why ah divvent wanna die, yaboogaman!”
Black Celebration says
@gary – I stand shoulder to shoulder with Sting on this one. The word “even” is important in that line. He’s saying that it’s already bad that someone would kill him for a cigarette – but it’s even worse for him, because he doesn’t want to die just yet. That might be surprising news to the person holding the gun. He says “even” to emphasise that message.
Or to paraphrase in Sting’s broad Geordie a-la Moose:
“Howay! Ya divvent need ta kill us ferra tab, man! Ah nor ah should welcome tha sweet kiss o’death like, bein’ yur in war-torn Bel-fasst – but nor! Unlike tha rest o’ these ‘ere – ah divvent wanna die, like!”
(apologies to everyone in Newcastle)
Moose the Mooche says
A tab no doubt from a packet tucked into the sleeve of a “winterwear” t-shirt.
count jim moriarty says
That’s how you tell it’s winterwear – it has sleeves (cap sleeves of course).
Gary says
I don’t even agree with you. My only hope is that with the passing of time you will come to realise the wrongness of your position and acknowledge such wrongness in front of everyone and within your soul.
Moose the Mooche says
It appears that Snagglepuss walks among us.
We’re not worthy.
Black Celebration says
God he was annoying. When oh when are we going to have a thread of unfunny cartoon characters, like this big pink streak of yawns? There are plenty out there.
Gatz says
Go right ahead and start one, but I think we all know it will quickly descend into a competition to see who can throw most vitriol at Scrappy Doo.
Black Celebration says
I am alarmed by the “step back inside me Romeo, she said – step back inside me, take me to your bed ” from the Mr Big song from TV’s the 1970s.
Is it as graphic as I am imagining? Step?
Gary says
A certainly odd lyric is in Grandmaster Flash’s none-more-better The Message, when he sings:
“Neon King Kong standin’ on my back,
Can’t stop to turn around, broke my sacroiliac.”
Only with the invention of the internet (probably the reason it was invented) was I able to find out what a sacroiliac is.
Genius lyrics mentions that a long sequence in Colson Whitehead’s novel “Sag Harbor” is devoted to the misunderstanding of this lyric, which the narrator assures his friend is “sac-a-diliac,” street slang for “balls.”
fitterstoke says
Sacroiliac – 10cc’s attempt to invent a new dance craze….
Rigid Digit says
Feeder – Buck Rogers
“He’s got a brand new car
Looks like a jaguar”
Not necessarily a bad lyric, a statement of fact perhaps. But also desperation for a rhyme.
But later:
“Get a house in Devon
Drink cider from a lemon”
What? Desperation for rhyme again. Doesn’t really make sense. That one probably is a bad lyric
Good song though
Milkybarnick says
I thought I’d misheard it for years and they were singing “drink cider from eleven” but no, it really is “from a lemon”.
Baron Counterpane says
It’s a real summer festival hit kinda song though isn’t it? I always thought drinking cider from a lemon was one of those things the cool/rich kids would do at a beach party in Rock or suchlike.
Rigid Digit says
Bryan Adams was born in 1959, therefore he would’ve been 10 in the Summer Of 69.
Now consider the lyrics:
I got my first real six-string
Bought it at the five-and-dime
Played it ’til my fingers bled
Was the summer of sixty-nine
OK, perfectly feasible – at the age of 10 you probably did buy your first guitar
Me and some guys from school
Had a band and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit, Jody got married
I should’ve known we’d never get far
“Jody got married” – at the age of 10? Or maybe Bryan was such a talent, he was in a band with “the big boys”
Whatever, they were the best days of his life
Bingo Little says
I think the implication is that they formed the band in 1969, and that – later – one of them quit and another got married. It didn’t all happen in the same year. The song is him looking back at their youthful innocence, contrasted with the way it all later fell apart. Sort of like a shit version of The River.
Source: I used to live with a Bryan Adams superfan.
Locust says
Wasn’t it a story going around a few years ago that said it actually referred to the sexual act? My memory is not exactly a hoarder, so I may be wrong in saying that Bryan confirmed it, but that’s how I remember it. But perhaps he just took the opportunity to make a shit lyric (and himself) sound cool…
DrJ says
Summer of 69 came out in 1985. That’s like someone putting out a song called Summer of 01 now: “I got my first real mobile…”
Gatz says
Got my first real mobile
Bought it at the Vodaphone
Played snake till my fingers bled
Was the summer of twenty-oh-one …
Moose the Mooche says
Sounds like someat by the Fratellis. Expect to hear it sung en masse by a mysteriously enthusiastic young crowd at T in the Park next summer, including the inevitable “Woah-ohhh” chorus.
fatima Xberg says
“…at the age of 10” etc. – have you ever considered that the first person speaker in poetry/literature/songwriting is not necessarily identical with the writer? I guess Mr. Adams wasn’t chatting with you about the summer of 69 at the pub.
It wasn’t Mr. Cash who shot that man in Reno just to watch him die, and it wasn’t Mr. Anderson who was sitting on a park bench eyeing little girls with bad intent.
Rigid Digit says
“There are nine-million bicycles in Beijing.
That’s a fact”
Is it? Have you counted them, or is the a Bicycle Census published in China
Sniffity says
She also got into some trouble within certain astronomical circles…
Milkybarnick says
Mark Radcliffe sat in for Steve Wright about 10 or so years ago in his Radio 2 afternoon spot (“love the show” etc). At the time Katie Melua had “If you were a Sailboat” out, and the audience were invited to come up with daft(er) versions of the lyrics. To her eternal credit, Katie Melua actually came into the studio and sang some of the best ones to the tune of the song.
Uncle Mick says
Can`t complain, must`nt grumble
Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble.
Martin Frys obvious anguish at the diminishing size of his apple crumble as some greedy so and so scoffs a second portion.
Mike_H says
You want profundity, good grammar and sense in pop lyrics?
What’choo on, man?
Stephen G says
Modern Love -not a bad lyric, just not really sure what he’s on about here – it all seems a bit contradictory. Anyone want to hazard a guess?
“Never gonna fall for
Modern Love walks beside me
Modern Love walks on by
Modern Love gets me to the Church on Time
Church on Time terrifies me
Church on Time makes me party
Church on Time puts my trust in God and Man
God and Man no confessions
God and Man no religion
God and Man don’t believe
in Modern Love”
DrJ says
Maybe he used his Verbasizer?
minibreakfast says
Or this handy flow chart.
Foxnose says
Just listen to THIS filth:
Inside My Love – Minnie Riperton
“Two people, just meeting
Barely touching each other
Two spirits greeting
Trying to carry it further
You are one
And I am another
We should be one
Inside each other
You can see inside me
Will you come inside me?
Do you wanna ride inside my love?
You can see inside me
Will you come inside me?
Do you wanna ride inside my love?”
geacher says
This wins.
“In the hour that the forest puts the lake to bed
She rises to the surface, swims through the darkness in my head
The crate of next year’s promises arrived in another town
And the leaves I can’t remember are slowly turning brown
The time they all come home, the predictable successes
I helped her from the carriage made of last year’s evening dresses
Oh the sparkle and the laughter that echoed ’round the tables
And the trees rememb’rin’ little birds they murdered in the fables
When winter calls the summer liar and freezes up its feet
I queued up for her kisses, stood in lines I can’t repeat
And now the darkened wagons have reached their destination
And the piper calls the tunes back from the benches in the station
The smoky trails where sky men ride their slashing silver swords
And now the mantles of the bride of brightly armoured lords
Half-naked trees let their last notes fall like coins on plates of grief
To stop the stores sorrow and bring me quick relief
Far from the skies
Away from her eyes
The golden country kingdom
Folds its wings and dies
Mike_H says
Needed a lie down in a darkened room after that.
“Don’t kiss me with your silver lip
Don’t kiss me with your eye
For god’s sake, gimme a break
Let me crawl away and die
You done my brain in”
Arthur Cowslip says
‘And if this ever-changing world in which we live in…’
Yeah, I know that’s not actually the line, but that’s what it sounds like and that’s how you automatically sing along to it… until you notice the grammatical error, get annoyed by it and have to consciously force yourself to sing the right line every time. Which is just annoying.
Phew.
Gary says
Beck’s Loser is full of definitely not “bad” but certainly extremely “odd” lyrics. Some of the lines are so odd they’re brilliant in their oddness.
In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
Butane in my veins so I’m out to cut the junkie
With the plastic eyeballs, spray paint the vegetables
Dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose
Kill the headlights and put it in neutral
Stock car flamin’ with a loser and the cruise control
Baby’s in Reno with the vitamin D
Got a couple of couches sleep on the love seat
Someone keeps sayin’ I’m insane to complain
About a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt
Don’t believe everything that you read
You get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve
So shave your face with some mace in the dark
Savin’ all your food stamps and burnin’ down the trailer park
Forces of evil in a bozo nightmare
Banned all the music with a phony gas chamber
Cause one’s got a weasel and the other’s got a flag
One’s got on the pole shove the other in a bag
With the rerun shows and the cocaine nose job
The daytime crap with the folksinger slop
He hung himself with a guitar string
Slap the turkey neck and it’s hangin’ from a pigeon wing
You can’t write if you can’t relate
Trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate
And my time is a piece of wax fallin’ on a termite
Who’s chokin’ on the splinters
Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby so why don’t you kill me?
(Get crazy with the Cheeze Whiz)
Twang says
It occurs to me, late in the day, that Everything but the Girl used exactly the same lyrical device as that cited in the OP on the song “Careless”. From the fabulously OTT album “Baby the stars shine bright”.
“You could not care less
And that was the first sign
But now you guess
That you’ve been too careless this time”
Bingo Little says
A little late, but I’ve just thought of a real doozy.
This is Billie Piper’s 1999 opus “Honey To The Bee”, a single which reached number 3 in the UK hit parade.
It’s absolutely chock full of weird and awful lyrics:
“Mmmm mmmm mmmm
Come on, buzz me up to heaven baby”
“I need that honey drip every hour”
“I’m dreaming of the candy in your finger tips”
But the real kicker is the chorus itself: “Honey to the bee, that’s you to me”.
Now, obviously, Billie is singing this because bees are attracted to honey, and she’s clearly strongly attracted to the song’s subject.
But that’s not the only relationship bees have with honey, is it? They also produce honey. So Billie is also presumably inferring that she is, in fact, the mother of her paramour. And furthermore, bees also eat honey, which adds another layer of disgusting intrigue to proceedings.
Essentially, this is (to my knowledge) the only UK top 10 single in which the singer effectively proclaims her sexual attraction to her own child, whom she will shortly consume. It’s like a sort of Freudian fever dream has collided with the pick and mix section of Woolies. Which is to say that it’s utterly revolting.
JustB says
Plus, she pronounces “honey” as “horny” more or less throughout, if memory serves.