Sleigh bells ring – are you listening? Its a beautiful sight and s(n)o(w) on…..
I am not the Grinch who hates Christmas or the spectre at that feast but I feel the need to do a PSA about this time of year. It’s hard.
Whether its the pressure of the season to be jolly or the endless images advertising the perfect Christmas of Mr & Mrs Smugbastard and their drooling offspring this is a really tough time for many people. Some of who you may know very well or might actually be. It could be SAD, the decreased daylight hours, the cold snap and it could just be that what ails you all year round seems particularly intense in winter
I had the cause to call The Samaritans helpline three times this week – although I could have been more if I had been braver – after feeling myself spinning out of control. After what felt like hours sobbing in a heap, wracked with pain and loneliness at my depressive state I needed to talk to someone. It really didn’t matter who. I didn’t choose a friend not because they would not be of help or comfort but because I don’t want to hurt them or make them worried.
The problem I have is that I care & love my friends so much but I don’t believe that I deserve the same from them & certainly don’t care about myself at all.
I don’t want people to worry unduly – I drove past a sign for Beachy Head this week and didn’t feel like taking a detour, went on the Tube and train without wanting to embrace the tracks and I believe calling The Samaritans those times enabled me to carry on as relatively normal. Didn’t miss any work, didn’t miss any fun stuff, felt like worthless shit at times but outwardly just my usually social awkward self with a new hat.
At this time of year we’re being told to look out for our elderly neighbours but I would ask you to look out for each other at this time of year. Not just those you know who will be alone but those who have family round them but can suffer from depression just like anyone else. There is no shame in calling for help even if its just to offload that Christmas stress on an anonymous stranger.
And if you need it – or know someone who does – then share these details on your social media and the like
The Samaritans – 116 123 (FREE to call)
@Samaritans on Twitter