I’m not yet in my seventh decade and I have a perfection complexion. Nevertheless, my white hair and thickening waist line betray the fact that I’m ageing. To counter time’s inexorable grind onwards, I’m having to implement some anti-ageing techniques.
I shave almost every day. A grey beard adds ten years to my look. I have thicker rimmed glasses to hide the bags under my eyes. I wear a hat frequently to cover the baldness (a number one all over makes the white look blonde). I wear baggy clothes round the middle to cover the paunch. I avoid smiling to prevent my yellow teeth being on display. I listen to old music to help soothe my furrowed brow and new music to encourage me to keep grooving. I eat lots of vegetables and fish so that I can justify eating fat. I don’t want to lose much weight. Have you seen thin people? Their skin wrinkles really badly. I think you need a bit of fat to puff out the sub-dermis, or whatever it’s called.
I use Dove Body Lotion in the shower (very smoooth) and Fairy Liquid in the bath. I don’t use deodorant but have an expensive aftershave (don’t ask the name, I didn’t buy it). No facial cream. I wear blues and greys. They suit me. Occasionally, I allow a splash of colour in a tie.
What do you do?
*turns SZA up to eleven to feel young again*