Further to this post, as a fall-back in case the potential ‘hook-up’ (that the term?) I mention doesn’t transpire (preliminary contact through intermediaries has been instigated but it’s strictly deniable), how would one, hypothetically, go about engaging with one of those dating apps? Non seedy and strictly legal responses only, thanks.
I of course understand why this is the case, but a *cough* friend wanted to have a browse on that there Tinder the other day but found that he couldn’t do so without first creating his own profile – a step which my friend didn’t feel quite ready to take. Would be good if one could get a sense of what profiles look like before committing to one’s own. He felt.
SteveT says
Hi Doggie personally I wouldn’t go down the dating app road until you have exhausted other possibilities. I know people who have joined Spice Action Group which is set up for single people to meet up in all sorts of different environments be it a Chinese meal, kayaking, mountain climbing or a visit to a museum – in other words it caters for a number of different interests. A lady who worked in our accounts dept was devastated after an unexpected divorce and joined Spice absolutely not looking for any relationship. She ended up meeting the love of her life and never looked back.
Believe the Scottish headquarters is in Dalkeith.Check them out.
Gatz says
I internet dated for a while a decade or so ago. I never actually paid for membership of any, just put my profile on a couple and waited for to be contacted (there always seemed to be very few women in my area). Anyway, I met several nice women, a couple of whom I’m still in touch with on Facebook or whatever, but no romance came out of it. I assume you are looking for romance rather than casual hook ups, which are outside my area of expertise?
If at all possible get someone you trust to see any profile before you post it, and the main thing is that, just like any date, you shouldn’t get over invested in how important it might be before you even meet anyone. Where it was useful for me was getting me into the habit of dating again. In the end I met an old friend whom I hadn’t seen for years at a New Years Eve party that year and the rest is history. All that effort looking for love in far flung places and I had her email address all along.
retropath2 says
If you seek a bienpensant pinky lefto, Guardian Soul Mates are pretty good. On-line rather than the adverts in the w/e supplement.
Yes, you have to register and put up a profile. I was always bashful about the photo bit, fearing being outed at work or some such, but non-photo applicants are always seen as married or pervs by those looking, I’m told, but, hey, worked for me.
P.S. They aren’t all BPPLs.
Moose the Mooche says
Married or pervs? You can’t be both?
Asking for a friend etc
RubyBlue says
A female friend of mine uses internet dating a lot, so here’s what I gleaned from her.
* Nice smiley picture, make sure it does actually look like you and isn’t 10 years old and filtered beyond all recognition.
* Don’t fib about height and age. 🙂
* Be honest about what you want- if you don’t want a long-term relationship, don’t pretend that you do.
* Use a paid site which (to a degree) filters out time-wasters.
*Don’t spend a lot of time chatting online. Fix a date asap; people online are often not quite who they seem to be and you can waste weeks chatting away, only to either never meet or face disappointment when you do.
* It’s a numbers game- date early, date often.
Oh and despite its bad rep Tinder can be quite good for relationships that are not just hook-ups.
It can be a bit brutal so get your tin hat on. As Steve says, maybe exhaust real-life possibilities first but there’s no harm in creating one or two online profiles.
Good luck!
bigstevie says
I did internet dating about 6 or 7 years ago. Turned out very well for me. No apps then, but dating sites like plentyoffish or match.com. Former was free, but like everything that’s free, it gets abused. Latter was free initially, but if you wanted to make contact(rather than just be contacted) there was an annual fee. I felt it was worth it.
Everyone’s profile tells you how brilliant they are, so you think “if you’re do brilliant, why are you on a dating site? “. I just tried to tell the truth, warts and all. Name, general postcode, general height and weight, age, likes and dislikes, work status, marital status. Lots of folks don’t like to put up a picture(especially women, and I can understand that)but I didn’t really want to spend time chatting to someone if I didn’t know what they looked like. Also, you wouldn’t believe some of the photos that get put up.
It’s scary, but that also makes it great fun. Lots of flirting going on, and lots of folks looking for one night stands and a bit of fun. Also, folks searching for the love of their life.
At the time, I worked this out on the back of a fag packet. 140,000 people in my postcode. Half women. Age range within 10 years of mine means about 10,000. 30% on their own. 80% of them wouldn’t interest me, nor would I interest them. That left lots of interesting ones.
Anyway, I met someone 35 miles away, way outside my postcode.
Good luck!
DougieJ says
Interesting. Thanks all…
Sitheref2409 says
Sharon and I met on OKCupid, and now we’re married.
OKC, if I understand correctly, does do a chunk of data analysis, as opposed to just randomly listing people who are broadly similar to your expressed preferences. None of the dates I went on were bad ones, just no ‘click’.
Give it a try; give the meeting groups thing a try. Do whatever you feel you want to and will keep you comfortable. There is no “right” answer, just finding your own path.
DougieJ says
👍