So what is your best achievement this year?
I have both asked and answered that question over my career.
I hate appraisals at my age (52), but me in my 20/30s would have been biting at the bit for that one.
Any good come backs for us older types?
Musings on the byways of popular culture
So what is your best achievement this year?
I have both asked and answered that question over my career.
I hate appraisals at my age (52), but me in my 20/30s would have been biting at the bit for that one.
Any good come backs for us older types?
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Gatz says
‘Well I’ve managed not to punch your teeth down your throat so far this year.’
On second thoughts, maybe not. I’ve done enough of these from both sides that I realise the painful truth in Keith’s appraisal in The Office. They’re a relic, and unnecessary anywhere that decent line management is being carried out, but it seems we’re stuck with them. My only advice, which I’m sure you know already, is that a manager will be relieved if the appraisee takes control of the discussion. Whether what is actually said has any real content is usually secondary.
Uncle Wheaty says
Agree, after a 30 second phone call the afternoon it is what I want it to be!
Moose the Mooche says
“I’ve shown up. What more do you fuckin’ want?”
Uncle Wheaty says
That could work, thanks!
Moose the Mooche says
Always positive, me!
Vulpes Vulpes says
hubert rawlinson says
Loved my job then things changed, management etc.
Next appraisal
“What is your target for next year?”
“Seeking alternative employment”
“Hmmm don’t think I can put that down”
Took redundancy soon after.
Possibly not much help to you to be fair.
Sitheref2409 says
“if you don’t know the answer to that, you haven’t been paying any attention”
Black Celebration says
This was a genuine exchange in a reality show about job seekers and interviews.
The guy looking for a job was a bit nervous throughout…
“If you could have one superpower – what would it be?”
“Er…Russia?”
Everyone in the room burst out laughing- but the man himself looked on bemused- until he heroically pulled it all back by claiming it as a genuine joke. He did get the job though.
bungliemutt says
At my last appraisal – “Is there anything you could have done differently?”
‘Differently’ being bolloxspeak for ‘better’.
Chrisf says
“what would you consider has been one of your strengths ?”
“I perform under pressure”
“Can you give me an example… ?”
“Mm ba ba de,
Um bum ba de,
um bu bu bum da de
Pressure, pushing down on me…..”
Moose the Mooche says
^THIS^
MC Escher says
I am having that, cheers
Chrisf says
“how would you describe your years achievements”
“verbally, but I have prepared a version via interpretive dance if you would like….”
davebigpicture says
“Splendid Chris. In the next year I’d like to see you throw off your mental chains.”
Moose the Mooche says
‘I think you have demonstrated that ridicule is nothing to be scared of”
MC Escher says
“I think we can both agree that the only way is up”
Chrisf says
Howard I do that then ?
Abergavenny Thursday says
“Strengths?”
~ Too many to mention.
“Weaknesses?”
~ None.
“Suggestions going forward?”
~ Everything’s fine.
Moose the Mooche says
Last one: Yeah, stop fucking saying “going forward”.
Alias says
“Any faults?”
– I can’t stop myself from working too hard.
The Good Doctor says
Sorry I’ve no glib one-liners for you but If you like the job and the company just explain why and presumably if you’re enjoying the work you have examples of things that went well so just talk about that. Not funny or interesting, but practical advice I hope!
Arthur Cowslip says
Oh I hate appraisals. We do them every six months – we used to do them monthly!!
I get severe writer’s block trying to fill out the sheet thing beforehand. Takes me hours. Then the face to face meeting itself is so excruciatingly embarrassing I just want to lie down in a dark room afterwards.
I’m not bad at my job or anything. I just can’t abide the hypocrisy of two people in a room trying to pretend they believe in a ritual that isn’t really important. I tend to resort to cliches and buzzwords, and then hate myself for doing so.
And it’s such a relief when we actually find something I could potentially be doing better, because it gives the discussion some context – you have to maintain this illusion of constant improvement. If I Constantly Improved at the rate my history of appraisals seems to imply, I’d be Chief Exec by now.
Twang says
One of the many things I like about freelancing is not having appraisals – you either do the do or they get rid of you. If they don’t, you know you’re doing what they want. Occasionally I’m asked to contribute to them for others, or even worse, conduct them. I always try to make it about the future – career planning, skills development etc, though why any sane person would leave such critical things to a process run by some numpty in HR is beyond me.
Sitheref2409 says
This numpty in HR is trying to blow up our 6 monthly appraisal process. The biggest blockers are ineffective business managers.
Some kind of review is likely necessary, especially if everyone gets pay rise and bonus at the same time. But if the coaching/feedback process has been taking place as it should across the year, it should be a decent conversation about what happened over the last year and how that can fuel the future.
(Yes there is research on this.)
Gatz says
Appraisals tend to be geared towards ‘stretching’ employees and ‘developing’ their careers. I’ve never had the slightest interest in being stretched, thanks for asking. I’m perfectly happy doing a job well below my capabilities which lets me cover my costs by putting the hours in.
That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy my work or take pride and give effort in doing it well, just that I have no desire to push it further. That response can get blank looks from people on the other side of the desk who are in that seat because they have made it their sole life aim to take their career as far as they can. That’s just great. All organisations need ambitious people who want to take leadership roles, but they also need those who actually get the work done.
Arthur Cowslip says
Wise words. I think I’m similar, I recognise myself in your comments.
johnw says
Yep, that’s me as well. I wince when the standard line seems to be that everyone should give 110% and then try harder. If you can’t do your job while running at around 90% then it’s not the job for you. In engineering, most jobs, totally outside your control, regularly need you to up your game and if you’re already at 100% there’s absolutely nowhere to go than into despair.
Most companies need people with ambition but once all the management jobs are filled, they need even more foot soldiers and you can be sure that many of them are disenchanted purely because they had visions of being the boss, even if they would either not like or be able to do the job. I reckon ambition is one of the biggest factors in unhappiness and depression.
Ainsley says
In my late 50’s, I’m lucky enough to have found a job that I enjoy but also have almost complete control over. I run the business but it’s not my business, so I don’t have the real headaches over the bank balance etc and although I do conduct an annual appraisal of our small team, no-one appraises me. Appraisals are always about how to do the job better – the individual being appraised but also their ideas on how we can ALL do things better for our clients.
After many years as a corporate animal, it’s a real pleasure just to be able to do the job well and not have to worry too much about how I come across to any “superiors”.
fatima Xberg says
I once applied for a job at the Sony Europe art department. During the interview (with the head of the department and two art directors) they gave me a couple of LPs – “This is what we do here, mainly compilations, unfortunately…”
I looked at the top one (Best Of Bob Dylan Vol. 2) and casually remarked “Is this a test pressing? There are four typos in the track listing, two in ‘Subterranean Homesick Blues’…”
Everything turned quite frosty from there on. Needless to say, they never called back.
deramdaze says
That should have got you the job … and anyone involved in those mistakes, the sack.
Mousey says
Job appraisals – well, if you’re a musician or composer it’s not about the talk. If you’re a musician you do an audition and play. I’ve never auditioned for a band because – oh well, never mind. I just do stuff of my own with mates. I’ve got gigs with bands because someone’s recommended me and that’s enough. But I’m just talking “jobs” here, not conquering the world and being famous.
For composing though, that’s another story. I have NEVER got a composing job from doing a submission. The best composing jobs I have had have been from people making the leap of faith and going with me, and that includes Peter Jackson.
Which is no help at all to the question in the OP of course, but I’m just saying – I don’t really know why, it’ must be to do with this nice bottle of Chianti I bought (for the chicken cacciatore recipe)…
‘night all…
Mousey says
Job appraisals – well, if you’re a musician or composer it’s not about the talk. If you’re a musician you do an audition and play. Except I’ve never auditioned for a band because – oh well, never mind. I just do stuff on my own with mates. Sometimes I’ve got gigs with bands because someone’s recommended me and that’s enough. But I’m just talking “jobs” here, not conquering the world and being famous.
For composing though, that’s another story. I have NEVER got a composing job from doing a submission. The best composing jobs I have had have been from people making the leap of faith and going with me, and that includes Peter Jackson.
Which is no help at all to the question in the OP of course, but I’m just saying – I don’t really know why, it must be to do with this nice bottle of Chianti I bought (for the chicken cacciatore recipe)…
‘night all…
Tiggerlion says
Lovely to see you again, Mousey.
I bet the chicken was nice.
mikethep says
But did the chicken enjoy the Chianti?
Moose the Mooche says
He crossed the road… well, he tried to, but then stopped to shout “EPIC!!!” and fall over.
fortuneight says
Making a living in HR I’ve had a lifetime of hearing bellyaching about appraisals. And some of it justified – it never fails to amaze me how many “managers” are willing to take the title, the pay and the benefits but seem to thinking actually managing their staff (i.e. not just handing out tasks) is someone else’s job (usually an HR numpty….). A month could scarcely go by without being called upon to fire someone whose appraisal history proved to be 100% spotless.
Good people managers don’t need appraisal systems. They know how to work with their people and get stuff done. Appraisal systems were put in place to try and guide those that didn’t get it, not least because pay and bonuses often hinged on them and the evil specter of a discrimination claim lurked in the background. We’ve just abandoned annual ratings and funnily enough managers instead of celebrating about being set free from the tyranny of the appraisal process, they are now all or a twirl about how they are going to decide pay increases. Bluff called.
Using appraisals to manage people is a bit like driving a car using only the rear mirror. A great way to check what did or didn’t happen but mostly no use in respect of what is about to. I’ve never done a single appraisal. But I’ve sat in on dozens where people I worked with appraised themselves and agreed how we could carry forward that learning to the future. Good people managers coach. The rest appraise.
Locust says
The question that I hate the most is “Where do you see yourself in five years time?”
I don’t; I see myself today and tomorrow, and perhaps the rest of the week, but I’ve never had a five year-plan in my life, and I’m not starting now, just because my boss took some BS management course. He should know by now that I’m not at all ambitious, after turning down his offers of promotion twice!
Freddy Steady says
Good on you Locust!
I’ve never had a plan in my life, no burning desire to be someone/thing. It all turns out ok eventually.
mikethep says
Best appraisal I ever had:
Him: You realise this is all bollocks, don’t you? How’s it going?
Me: Fine thanks.
Him: Good. Pub?
A friend of mine, when asked (at a job interview, not an appraisal) what her greatest weakness was, said mayonnaise. You could try that.
chiz says
Fantastic line from the new Disney Christopher Robin movie:
People say nothing is impossible. I do the impossible every day
Leedsboy says
I always like to use the phrase “delusions of adequacy” in at least one appraisal every year.
Uncle Wheaty says
It went well.
The one area in the original job description that I had tried and not really delivered on was described as something that was probably not realistic anyway and “we can always take that bit out and add something else in to replace it”.
Best appraisal ever…we both knew it was a complete waste of time!
retropath2 says
Appraisal is now firmly embedded in NHS dogma as the way to prevent rogue docs going feral with the opiates. On the way it has become a nice little earner for those who appraise and for a little industry of apps and websites selling their not inexpensive wares to the headlight blinking fodder, who have to create a log of learning activities and reflection thereover , plans to meet “unmet needs”, blah, blah, blah, all tied up with a disciplinary threat of being decommissioned if you don’t play. Personally, like most forms of assessment, it has become a crock of shit, swelling in its own importance, the process devouring any long since lost purpose.