Due to a serendipitous (yeeesss) mistype while attempting to download “Rain on The Roof,” as portrayed by Hugh Grant in the end-credits of the wonderful “Paddington 2” I came up with a spiffing idea*: the movie mash-up.
I am now imagining the Peruvian-bear-cum merchandising-colossus injected into a virtual reality survival game, with added Eighties hair. Give “it” up for PaddingTron!
Yes! Simply amend the title of a movie to include another movie title!
* I know, it’s probably been seen as Twitter and Facebook memes for years already. Well, now it’s here! Lighten up you big grump 🙂
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JV2jK52dgMc
MC Escher says
Mr Grant is on fine form throughout too. But he never meets “Jeff” Bridges sadly. Except in my head.
MC Escher says
Yeah.. I can see now that this was a little challenging for the intended audience… that’s my excuse anyway
H.P. Saucecraft says
Snakes On A Planet Of The Apes
Rob C says
That’s as well as maybe, but all I give a fuck about right now is cheesy jacket spuds, beans, and Tabasco Chipotle. Hare Don’t Hassle Alligators.
Rigid Digit says
A Room With A View To A Kill
The Spy Who Loved Me and My Girl
Live And Let Die Hard
Jackthebiscuit says
Reservoir Snow dogs.
There’s something about Mary Poppins.
Shakespeare in Love story
Moose the Mooche says
Spit-spot!
Kid Dynamite says
Pirates Of The Caribbean There
davebigpicture says
“Applauds”
Kid Dynamite says
The Seven Samurai, Daniel Blake
Kid Dynamite says
Donnie Darko Brother Where Art Thou
Kid Dynamite says
Oceans 8½
MC Escher says
The mind boggles 🙂
MC Escher says
Sawshank Redemption. Tim Robbins gets his foot stuck in a pipe whilst trying to prison break…
chiz says
Go on then…
Dr No Country for Old Men
From Russia with Love Story
Days of Thunderball
Ice Goldfinger in Alex
You Only Live 2
On Her Majesty’s Secrets and Lies
Diamonds are Forever Young
The Man with the Golden Pond
Live and Let Die Another Day
The Spy Who Loved Marley and Me
Paper Moonraker
The Hunt For Your Eyes Only
Octopussycat, Kill! Kill!
Never Say Never Ending Story
A View to a Killing Field
Night of The Living Daylights
Licence to Kill Bill
Goldeneye Tonya
The Day After Tomorrow Never Dies
The World is Notting Hill
Die Another Day of The Dead
Casino Royale The Presidents men
Quantum of Solace Ventura; Pet Detective
Magnolia Skyfall
Spectre Gadget
H.P. Saucecraft says
TL:DR
Sewer Robot says
Taboo inter species love in The Shape Of Watership Down
Sewer Robot says
Annoying f*cking Russian kids in Love and Death, Actually
MC Escher says
I like the brief overviews Sewer. You’ve given these a bit of thought
MC Escher says
That is a lot of mashing chiz
chiz says
I felt sorry for you Maurits. I hate to see a man reduced to doing the first two replies to his own thread.
H.P. Saucecraft says
It’s called “doing a fatdad” in our house.
MC Escher says
It’s merely a little light curating to keep the pot simmering.
In the spirit of this thread – y’know, portmanteau-ing words – I will henceforth refer to it as “Tiggerlionising”
Beezer says
The Mission: Impossible
The Third Man About The House
Shalakoklahoma
H.P. Saucecraft says
Hey! You pinched my “The Mission: Impossible” idea!
Beezer says
Believe it or not, Ripley, I also thought of ‘Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence of Arabia’ as well.
This means something. It means we’re twatting about.
Locust says
Fanny Hill and Alexander
The sexual awakening of a young boy, causing his step-father the bishop to spontaneously combust when catching him in flagrante with the mysterious Ms Hill in the attic.
Sewer Robot says
Silent Cool Runnings:
NASA tries to pull the plug when it finds out what the Jamaican astronauts have been using the International Space Station’s hydroponics to grow. Kids will love the funny robots U-Roy, I-Roy and Irie..
Logan’s Midnight Run:
Bobby De Niro tries to scarper when he overhears that he will be killed when he reaches the age of 45. But it’s all just a misunderstanding – it’s his acting career that dies…
Ocean’s 7:
In the final scene of this grisly thriller we find out that Kevin Spacey has Sandra Bullock’s head in a box – which goes some way to explain how the Academy Award winner appeared to have a completely new head for the rest of this movie…
H.P. Saucecraft says
Herbie Goes Bananas – A talking VW gatecrashes an early Woody Allen comedy – with hilarious consequences!
Merry Christmas Mister Laurence Of Arabia! Peter O’Toole stars in this heartwarming Disney tale.
Goodbye Mister Chips – ageing LA motorcycle cop deals comes to terms with retirement.
Blue Lagoonies – Brooke Shields as a castaway trying to find a pirate’s treasure.
Bound For Glory – two lesbian folksingers in dustbowl America. Some nudity.
H.P. Saucecraft says
Some Like It Hotel Rwanda – Marilyn Monroe plays a hotel manager sheltering Tutsi refugees during their struggle against the Hutu militia in Rwanda.
H.P. Saucecraft says
Oh! Mister Night Porter – A Holocaust survivor and the Nazi stationmaster (Will Hay) who tortured her resume their sadomasochistic relationship. Comedy.
H.P. Saucecraft says
This is easily the best so far.
retropath2 says
The Third Elephant Man: Cold war thriller with a most unlikely spy.
The Men in Black Narcissus: Aliens have broken into the convent. Who can save the nuns now?
Whisky Tango Foxtrot Galore: Tina Fey takes a job in dangerous wartorn Barra.
H.P. Saucecraft says
The Mission: Impossible – Jesuit spies try to protect a remote South American tribe in danger of falling under the rule of pro-slavery Portugal. Stars Tom Cruise as Father Gabriel.
The Best Little Whorehouse in Paris, Texas – An aimless drifter (Burt Reynolds) fights to keep a whorehouse running when its madam (Nastassja Kinski) reconnects with society, herself, her life, and her family. Language.
chiz says
Bladerunnings: Replicant Jamaican Bobsledders, etc
Les Lialiens Dangereuses: A crack team of fops face an unknown terror in an abandoned French chateau
Citizen Kanal SpunkFest: er…. that’s not a snowglobe
MC Escher says
I knew you’d get the idea eventually. Chapeau!
Gary says
Carry On Golden Pond. Sid & Hattie’s wayward daughter accuses them of being elderly, while flashing her breasts.
This Is Spinal Taps. A military band try to stop the closure of their old London comp by playing their bugles LOUD.
H.P. Saucecraft says
Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey – two lesbians (Jennifer Tilly, Gina Gershon) escape from a California ranch to find their owners in San Francisco. Disney live-action erotic drama for all the family.
Spellbound – A psychiatrist protects the identity of amnesic lesbians (Jennifer Tilly, Gina Gershon) accused of murder.
Moose the Mooche says
BrokeBack Mountain to the Future – let’s just say that this time Marty wakes his dad up with something other than a Van Halen tape
H.P. Saucecraft says
Oh dear.
davebigpicture says
Ladies in The Lavender Hill Mob: Judi Dench and Maggie Smith befriend a strange young man washed up on the banks of the Thames near Battersea Bridge while plotting to rob the Bank of England. “These Dames are trouble!”
TrypF says
The Long Good Freaky Friday
Slap Her, She’s French Connection
Groundhog Day of the Jackal
Unbearable Lightness of Being John Malkovitch
Dial M for Murder on the Orient Express
The 40-Year-Old Virgin Suicides
Withnail and I, Daniel Blake
Girls Just Wanna Have Funeral in Berlin
davebigpicture says
Continuing the Ealing theme…
The Titfield Thunderbolt and Lightfoot: Clint Eastwood gets the gang back together to pull off a last daring heist using an ancient steam engine from the town museum and is chased by Plod in the sort of shit bus that used to take your class to swimming lessons at junior school.
chiz says
Stanley Holloway and Arnold Schwarzenegger in Passport to Pimliconan the Barbarian
GCU Grey Area says
A Matter of Life and Death Becomes Her, or A Matter of Life and Death In Venice.
Some Like It Hot Fuzz.
MC Escher says
I’m gonna need a little more if you wish to avoid being held back a year, GCU
GCU Grey Area says
A Matter of Life and Death In Venice; elegantly gasping his last from TB, Peter D.Carter (Dirk Bogarde) wafts around Venice, haunted by memories of when he fell to earth, and the naked pipe-playing boy he met on the dunes, immediately before encountering June for the first time.
MC Escher says
Miracle on the Hudson Hawk. Bruce Willis (pilot) and Danny Aieeello (air traffic control) wisecrack their way through an entire film, while Bruce simultaneously lands a jet – containing the stolen Mona Lisa – on the Hudson River. Possible off-camera cocaine use.
H.P. Saucecraft says
I’d just like to take this opportunity to thank Maurice Esher for this wonderful blog piece. Its demanding premise has inspired the “smart set” of the Afterword to empyrean heights of wit, while keeping out the riff-raff. Kudos!
MC Escher says
Thanks man. I’ll be looking for a trophy come the usual AW Christmas awards black-tie shindig.
Empyrean – from the Greek empyros meaning “fiery”. I did not know that.
retropath2 says
Taxi Drivin’ Miss Daisy: You looking’ at me, Miz Werthan?
Dawn of the Dead Pool: Gritty cop Harry Callaghan “returns” for a final outing.
Day of the Dead Pool: Again
Gone with the Wind in the Willows: Frankly, Moly, I can’t build a dam.
Locust says
Oh that last one is a classic! *applause*
H.P. Saucecraft says
Bend over, Mr Path – big upsie coming your way.
H.P. Saucecraft says
The Elephant Spider-Man- Troubled teen John Merrick overcomes crippling facial disfigurement when exposure to radioactivity gives him the powers of a spider in addition to the memory of an elephant.
Alice In Wonderwoman – two lesbians (Jennifer Tilly, Gina Gershon) (Enough – Ed.)
Kid Dynamite says
The Public Enemy, Myself And Irene – Chuck D and Kid Dynamite go for tea at Irene Handl’s, and politely listen to anecdotes involving Donald Sinden and Metal Mickey. (542m, b/w).
Moose the Mooche says
Don’t Look Back Now In Anger. Donald Sutherland and Bob Dylan are pursued around Venice by a ranting Welshman.
Appalling sludgy title song.
Kid Dynamite says
How Green Was My Valley Of The Dolls. The residents of a nineteenth century Welsh mining village develop a taste for barbiturates and infidelity, with hilarious consequences.
Kid Dynamite says
The Exorcister Act. Max Von Sydow, tired of combating demons, takes over and transforms a failing choir of nuns. They coast through regionals, but become unstuck in the final against dance troupe Pazuzu’s People. Will they end up sucking cocks in hell, or will the power of Christ compel them to victory?
MC Escher says
You bad man. 9/10
Rigid Digit says
Green Streets Of Philadelphia
A very ill Tom Hanks comes to East End London to indulge in a bit of football hooliganism … for no good reason
Rigid Digit says
The Hitchhikers Guide To Guardians Of The Galaxy
Rutger Hauer provides an impassioned commentary about his favourite Marvel film
Beezer says
Black Narcissus Down. A group of nuns crash a helicopter in a war zone. One of them has her hair done and falls over.
Beezer says
South Pacific Rim
A huge sea monster sings show tunes with the John Wilson Orchestra.
Beezer says
Night Of The Living Dead Of Night.
It’s about night.
Beezer says
The Rebel Without A Cause
Tony Hancock races towards a cliff in an Austin 7.
Moose the Mooche says
“you’re tearin’ me apart, mush!”
Beezer says
Brief Encounters Of The Third Kind
Richard Dreyfuss obsessively models Carnforth Station
H.P. Saucecraft says
*faints*
retropath2 says
Nightmare on 42nd Street: A director puts on what may be his last Broadway show and, at the last moment, a naive newcomer has to replace the star. In a striped jumper.
The Seven Samurai Brides for the Brothers Kamarazov: A spiritual drama of moral struggles concerning faith, doubt, and reason as 3 brothers have a shared thing about japanese girls.
Rosemary’s Baby Driver: Great Soundtrack.
retropath2 says
What’s Eating Gilbert’s Grapes of Wrath: Set in the Great Depression, we soon find out it is Gilbert’s mother who has eaten not just his grapes but all the grapes in America.
La La Land of the Dead: When hell is full, a jazz pianist returns to New York.
The Jungle Book Thief: Features hit song The Herr Necessities.
Locust says
The Phantom Menace of the Opera: Jar Jar Binks wearing a face-mask hides under the Paris operahouse to escape the wrath of Star Wars fans. Unfortunately he also teaches the young singing talent Christine to sing opera in a silly voice, thus destroying her career as well.
Locust says
The Last Tango & Cash In Paris: Sylvester Stallone, Kurt Russell and a stick of butter.
H.P. Saucecraft says
You’re on fire!
Locust says
The Boogie Nightcomers: Two orphans are taken in by Marlon Brando’s porn “family”, busy making the porno “The Earning of the Screw”. They witness unproportional horrors that scare them into a state of psychosis mimicking demonic posession.
Locust says
Freaky Friday the 13th: Jason Vorhees and his mum makes a wish and their souls switches places. Nobody notices the difference.
H.P. Saucecraft says
The Usual Black Narcissuspects
After meeting at a police line-up, five nuns open a convent in the Himalayas.
retropath2 says
3 shouts for Black Narcissus so far. Anyone seen it?
GCU Grey Area says
Yes. A quite bonkers film. Kathleen Byron. *very heavy sigh*.
Of ‘The Archers’ films, I think A Matter of Life and Death, ‘Blimp’, A Canterbury Tale are ahead of the rest, but when the rest includes ‘Narcissus’, The Red Shoes and I Know Where I’m Going, that’s quite some ‘rest’.
H.P. Saucecraft says
Can I be the first to say I didn’t know there’d been any movie spinoffs from the famous wireless series about country folk?
GCU Grey Area says
Borchester Mon Amour.
Last Year In Felpersham, me old pals, me old beauties. . .
chiz says
Ann of Grey Gables
H.P. Saucecraft says
Grundy Bloody Grundy
H.P. Saucecraft says
The Silence Of The Lambs
H.P. Saucecraft says
Snellraiser
Mike_H says
Clarrie
chiz says
Clarrie… brilliant!
The Amityville Horrobin
The Jazzer Singer
davebigpicture says
Mike just won the internet!
H.P. Saucecraft says
Raiders Of The Lost Arkwright Hall
Fifty Shades Of Grey Gables
The Aldridges Of Borsetshire County
davebigpicture says
TV spin offs: Grange Farm Hill. Roy Tucker’s Luck.
Robin of Lower Locksley.
retropath2 says
Dog Day Afternoons of Wine and Roses: Al Pacino can’t be bothered robbing the bank and spends the day drinking with John Cazale.
MC Escher says
What is it with you guys and nuns? And lesbians? And lesbian nuns?
H.P. Saucecraft says
I was once in one of those remainder bookshops, in Oxford, browsing the art books section – oh do be quiet – when I noticed a nun leisurely examining a sumptuous volume of lesbian erotica. So what, you say, in your unpleasantly nasal tone, so what. Made an impression on me.
MC Escher says
I see. Those encounters can have a definite effect on a young man’s emerging sexual identity if they occur at the right time in puberty . So, what, you’d have been about 27, 28? *strokes chin*
H.P. Saucecraft says
Mm. About that … thirty-something … voice just breaking!
Moose the Mooche says
….and… good lord… what are those two things in your socks?
Rob C says
Fifty Shades Of Greyfriars Bobby.
Think choke chains. Think Crufts.
Locust says
Ghost Buster.
Phil Collins scare people on a train.
Zanti Misfit says
Show not tell.
Old news but still love this mashup
NSFW
H.P. Saucecraft says
The Bound Of The Baskervilles – Two lesbians (Jennifer Tilly, Gina Gershon) investigate the legend of a supernatural hound on the fog-shrouded moorland of New York.
H.P. Saucecraft says
The Bound Of Music – Two lesbian nuns (Jennifer Tilly, Gina Gershon) leave an Austrian convent to become a governess to the children of a Naval officer widower. Some nudity, but not enough.