I. Bloody. Love. Christmas.
I generally resist getting my Yule on until December, but it’s 3 weeks til the holidays and since I’d already made mincemeat and shortcrust (and a pudding, and a dangerously boozy cake), my girls prevailed upon me to make mince pies a little bit early yesterday so we went the whole hog and I had mulled wine too. (The pies were incredible, thanks for asking. The trick? A lard/butter combo in the pastry makes it shorter than Thom Yorke.)
This year has a bittersweet quality to it, in that I won’t be with my daughters on Christmas Day, but on the other hand I also won’t have to go to my former in-laws’ either. And it means that I get to be with my sister and her little ones on the day itself too, which hasn’t ever happened before (we’ve always alternated for reasons of available space in my parents’ house).
But I love Christmas, and everything that goes with it. The invention of the internet may be destroying the fabric of society as we know it, but on the plus side, it means you don’t have to fight your way down slippery pavements with a machete, feeling inescapably that the only thing that could possibly recharge your good-will reserves is a mince pie and some kind of insane seasonal coffee offering from an overpriced chain café. Charging round town is now something I only do on Christmas Eve, just to pick up the last couple of things, when all the stressful bit has already been dealt with by Mr Internet. And it’s dark and the lights are glowing and you’re all overcoated and scarfed and there’s a carol service in a couple of hours and family filling the house to bursting point.
I’m incredibly lucky to be healthy and reasonably OK financially, I know. And it’s that immense sense of good fortune that makes Christmas all the more joyful for me. I’m surrounded with people I adore (especially now there’s no in-laws) and I get to be all grateful, and I get to give people nice things, and hugs, and – are you sensing an obsession here? – mince pies.
What are the staples of a proper Christmas for you? Any plans? For me, the sine qua non of Christmas is Gloucester Cathedral. It’s one of two buildings in the world that is truly home for me, despite my atheism and my tedious political correctness. I spent most of my childhood in and around it, and when the lights shut off at 6:30 on Christmas Eve, and the whole beautiful cavernous space is plunged into pin-drop darkness, and a 9-year-old boy treble starts to sing an unaccompanied, solo “Once In Royal David’s City” – well. There’s just nothing more magical on God’s green earth.
Oh, and my dad is singing in this video. 🙂
(PS: if you’re tempted to be a Grinch here, please don’t.)
Bingo Little says
Great post.
I absolutely adore Christmas. It’s a lovely time of year, full of traditions and magical for the kids. This year’s a bit of a curveball – we’ve been having some fairly major building work done, which means we’ve been living with relatives (albeit round the corner) for the last two months. It’s actually been a lot more comfortable than expected (the kids, in particular, have loved it), but we’re now about three weeks away from the end of the build, all being well, and the thought of getting back into our own home a couple of weeks before Xmas is almost too inviting to put into words.
Beyond that, we have the following on the cards:
* The annual family trip to the Prince Charles Cinema to watch Home Alone. Three generations of family in attendance, mince pies and mulled win in hands, roaring with laughter to “why are you dressed like a chicken” and all the other magical moments in that wonderful movie.
* The regular trip to the local Church’s Christingle service on Xmas eve.
* Xmas lunch in a local pub, about 20 of us, all my family plus some of my brother’s in-laws. Usually lasts 4-5 hours, sees most of the adults absolutely steaming drunk and then back to my parents’ house to open presents/dance around the kitchen/argue about bollocks.
* Volunteering at a local homeless shelter. I do this a few times a year, but always at Christmas. We’re also carting as much food as we can to the local food bank and the kids have prepared shoe boxes of gifts for kids who aren’t as fortunate as they are. Not sure if any of this is really in the “looking forward to” category, but it is one of the most important bits.
* Christmas dinner at the Reform Club in town. My Dad’s a member, the big posh sod, and this event is always attended by Clan Little in its entirety (albeit this may well be the last year, for various reasons). Lovely big dinner in amazing surroundings, and then everyone heads to the atrium to collectively bellow Xmas carols to the roof in what is basically the world’s fanciest karaoke session. Usually devolves into a who can sing loudest contest with my brothers.
* Work Family Xmas party, which is a great excuse for the kids to come and have a poke around my office. Also involves a mystery movie screening, a pretty decent Santa’s grotto and the world’s best face painters.
* Tickets for the opening night of The Last Jedi. Every year the same bunch of us go to see the new Star Wars, organised by one of my oldest mates in the world, who is an absolute obsessive. Hoping this will be more like last year’s Rogue One (one of the greatest cinema experiences of my life, I very nearly wept for joy) than the year prior’s The Force Awakens (not my cuppa). Super excited.
* Always take a day off work in the run up to Xmas and a mate and I spend the day at the cinema (trend developing here) and have a big lunch. Usually involves It’s A Wonderful Life at the PCC. This year’s day off is next Friday, but we’ve not worked out the movies yet.
* My literal oldest friend in the year is back visiting from Australia the week before Xmas. I’ve not seen him in 2 years and he has a 6 month old baby I’ve never met. I’m seeing him and his family on 23 December. It makes me tingle just thinking about it now, love him to bits.
* Last Christmas I bought my daughter the complete Calvin & Hobbes, and we started reading through them together. About six months ago my son, who is a dead ringer for Calvin and who has slept with a “Hobbes” stuffed tiger since he was born, decided to get involved in the read through. We’re now into the fourth and final volume of cartoons and looking to polish off the project by year end, which will mean a lot of time together on the sofa with me reading out loud and them both collapsing in fits of giggles (particularly any time Calvin’s bare backside makes an appearance).
* Beyond the above, all the usual other stuff – great Xmas music, great Xmas movies (Die Hard is an Xmas movie, goddammit!), great awful food. This year’s programmed Xmas movies: Batman Returns, Die Hards 1 and 2, The Family Stone, Arthur Christmas, Nativity, The Nightmare Before Christmas, While You Were Sleeping, Gremlins, The Santa Claus, Miracle on 34th Street.
* Going out for dinner with my best mate and his wife on 22 December. They’ve had a bit of a rough year with some scary health stuff, but have ended on a high – he told me recently that they’re expecting their third kid. Given that his kids basically feel like my kids by extension, this is fairly amazing news, and I can’t wait to spend the evening toasting this fantastic development.
It really is one of the best times of the year. I know it’s not for everyone, but it’s most certainly for me. I get to see my friends, I get to see my family, and I get to tell them all how much I love them without it seeming (all that) weird and incongruous. On which note, here’s one of my absolute favourite Xmas jams (the bit where the brass comes in near the end is just Christmas all over)…
Merry Xmas to everyone – looking forward to hearing what you’re all up to.
Gary says
I don’t think I’ve ever used the word “atrium”. I’m not sure I’ve ever been in one. I shall endevour to rectify both henceforthwith though.
Bingo Little says
It means “really huge birdhouse”, right?
Gary says
Sorry, can’t read your reply. Feckin’ budgies have shat on me iPad.
Leedsboy says
Actually, it’s a shopping centre in Camberley.
Bingo Little says
Brilliantly, and in what is also an increasingly important part of my own Xmas tradition, about an hour after I wrote the above it became apparent that something may be about to drop out of the sky at work which has the potential to completely banjax several of the listed festivities.
No matter! My Christmas cheer is impenetrable. Have another tune, pass the mince pies and one we go….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C24KIIh_OzMhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C24KIIh_OzM
JustB says
Oh I meant to say. Thanks for posting APGC, Bingo. It’s six years since we first put it out and people still tell us nice things about it. It was the first Disappointment Choir song, and it’s been – as we’d say if we were on X Factor and successful – quite a journey.
bungliemutt says
No Grinching from me Bob. Although I have an official curmudgeonly loathing for the Yuletide season, I actually love it, and always have. The decorations went up in Bunglie Towers yesterday, again officially because Mrs B would have put them up in July given half a chance, but in truth because I really wanted to. While I am mercifully free from tedious political correctness, I don’t have an ounce of regard for religion, but there is still something spiritually warming and reassuring about Christmas that goes all the way back to my earliest and happiest experiences of it in childhood, when the world felt safe and didn’t extend much further than my Mum and Dad’s front door.
Mrs B and I have no great plans for this year, but as with so many things in life, the expectation of Christmas is always so much more enjoyable than the fulfillment. Let’s face it, it’s the one time of the year when most people feel obliged to be nice to each other, which is almost an end in itself. So we shall definitely be doing what we have done for the last 13 years at round about 6.30 p.m. on Christmas Eve, which involves nothing more spectacular than switching on the Christmas tree lights, opening a bottle of mulled wine, sitting on the floor eating cheese and crackers, and watching Carols From Kings on the telly. As long as we can do that together, Christmas is sorted.
Have this one on me Bob, and may I be the first to wish you a very Happy Christmas.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFnM8pSsyUU
Moose the Mooche says
The KCC have Christmas nailed. I couldn’t do it without them.
bungliemutt says
This may or may not be a Christmas song, but it’s from a Christmas album, and I love it.
retropath2 says
I admit to being a bit of a humbug about Christmas, or at least the build-up, being heartily sick of the queues in shops, the endlessly looped Xmas hits and everyone enforcing jolly on the world, even if jolly is not there, but I am slowly coming round to it. Normally I hate Christmas until about midday on Christmas Eve, normally a work (half-day), before loving it all in fast-forward catch up speed until about a week later. In the last couple of years I have found myself surreptitiously getting excited in advance, this year being even a little more so. Please don’t tell anyone.
ivan says
dunno is this what you want but I found yesterday tough going; my lovely wife is doing a degree that requires a lot of time spent away doing work placement and the like so I’d not seen her much saturday and she’d gone off with friends yesterday. It rained, horribly, all day and I looked out the window and godawfulness and felt really lonely.
(the tl;dr is ‘yesterday i felt like shit’)
Then I remembered that our local musical society was doing a carol singing gig up the road. I sent a text to one of the lads and off we went.
You think you get a buzz from *listening* to Christmas songs?; as Bingo alludes to above, if singing is fun (and it is) there is simply nothing that beats being part of the ‘Fall on your knees’ bit of Oh Holy Night.
I felt fucking great after.
Bingo Little says
Excellent stuff. Singing in a group with other human beings is quite simply one of the most uplifting, life-enhancing things you can do with your time. Christmas is a great excuse for it.
mikethep says
Christmas isn’t Christmas without singing. I and the choir I’m in (adv: Brisbane Chorale) are doing two entirely separate Christmas gigs this year. Christmas Round the World (the clue is in the title) involves singing carols in Swedish, Gaelic, Latin, Greek, Wyandot and Swahili as well as English. That’s a bit of a challenge.
Then Spirit of Christmas, the annual Christmas cheesefest, which involves minor local celebs and vomit-inducing Mariah Carey-style songs as well as the trad stuff. Three performances, including two in one day…Still, Hark the Herald Angels Sing with the full Queensland Symphony Orchestra is always a blast.
Then it’s a 7-hour train journey down south to join the rest of the family for prawns.
Gary says
Christmas doesn’t touch my life in the slightest. Same goes for my friends. Does that make me a Grinch?
Moose the Mooche says
Can you not just paste somebody else’s Christmas into your December? You might get some CDs!
Gary says
I’m off to Sardinia on the 19th. You can come too if you like. Plenty of spliff.
Moose the Mooche says
A tempting offer but what with hot chestnuts, glistening baubles, stuffing a fat bird and emptying a huge bulging sack, I’m going to be pretty maxed out.
Moose the Mooche says
For me the build up to Christmas IS Christmas. It starts the first weekend in December and is announced very loudly Chez Moose by Darlene Love saying that she’s dreameeng of a white Christmas. To be honest it’s mainly about the music for me – I can’t understand anyone over the age of 12 getting excited about presents.
Also on the day itself you can start belting back the hard stuff pretty much the moment you wake up and nee bugger bats an eyelid. Hooray!
Neela says
I don’t like Christmas, apart from the food. The same goes for pretty much every day of the year.
dai says
Should start about the 24th Dec and go on (inc New Year stuff) until Jan 1st. It’s not even December yet!
hubert rawlinson says
I consider this as part of the Christmas festivities, occurs on the 6th January.
https://www.wheewall.com/hood/
minibreakfast says
Like Moose up there on top of me ^^^ it’s mainly about the build up and the music for me these days, with Christmas Day itself being very nice but not particularly exciting. Listening this year will of course start with the Torero Band on Dec 1st, and from there I’ll being exploring the festive records and CDs bought during the last 11 months and stashed away, before getting properly stuck into the two Christmas LP cases.
I have however already started drinking sherry again. Practice makes perfect, after all.
One thing I’m quite excited about is the second ever Twitter Vinyl Santa, which fell to me this year to organise, and for which I had to do a second draw two weeks after the first one when some latecomers were feeling left out. On Christmas eve there will be 55 of us on both sides of the Atlantic opening our parcels of rare collectibles/utter tat whilst posting photos, gasping in astonishment/horror at each other’s gifts, and generally mucking about. I’ll be on the sherry then too, for sure.
Moose the Mooche says
Well fancy bumping into you on this thread… what are the odds ☺
minibreakfast says
Expect @Beany at any moment. 🎄
Beany says
Nah. Too busy finalising my Green Christmas 2017 CD and will be adding another year from the archives onto the Mixcloud interweb thingy as soon as I have digitalimized it. Otherwise Christmas can just bugger off thank you very much. I would much prefer it in summer. I hate winter.
minibreakfast says
*nails plank over letterbox*
JustB says
Totally agree about the Day itself. I like it a lot, but Peak Christmas is Christmas Eve. That’s when the magic happens.
minibreakfast says
Ooh, just remembered that I got the Special Edition DVD of The Snowman in a charity shop, MONTHS ago, so will watching that with all the extras during December as well as probably catching it on the TV as well.
Moose the Mooche says
Can. Not. Watch. It. It totally destroys me. Made worse by the Bowie intro now of course.
Pathetic, I know.
Gary says
I’m the same with ‘Evenings On A Farm Near Dikanka’.
minibreakfast says
Aw, yes. They always seem to show that bit now, despite it being the ‘alternative’ intro.
I will blub too, if last year is anything to go by.
Gary says
Were you replying to me or Moose?
minibreakfast says
*thwackety-thwack!*
Moose the Mooche says
Not his face!!!
RubyBlue says
Lovely post.
The past few years have been marred by the serious illness of one close family member or another during Christmas. This, combined with a general apathy, has meant that I haven’t bothered much about Christmas for some years.
Something has changed this year (possibly me). I used to love Christmas when I was a kid (despite the usual tensions) and I’m getting that feeling back. We have resisted the ‘traditional Christmas’ and don’t see anyone else on the day – we visit rellys afterwards.
This has the advantage of doing Christmas our way- so very little traditional food (I’m the only one who likes mince pies, pudding etc. and I don’t eat meat so it will be pizza for me. Which is great). I am the organiser and driver of Christmas which means I get to do the tree, deccos, cards, food, presents etc. which you’d think would be a pain but this year I’m enjoying it if a little panicked.
It’s also the build-up for me that’s the most enjoyable- the Christmas playlist, carols at Kings, dark evenings and the lights, and the school carol service. And another new year around the corner, hurray. 🙂
Leedsboy says
I love Christmas but Christmas Day is not the highpoint. We have a few traditions and it spreads the joy around rather than have a big build up and then peak stress on Christmas Day.
We will take the kids to see Father Christmas. This year, in London after we have seen the new Star Wars in Leicester Square on the 16th.
My wife and I will have a shopping day. It’s partly grim (too many people) but we get lunch together and it’s lovely buying presents. Or walking round department stores and ordering online via the phone as it often is. But I like the puzzle of what to get people.
We’ll go to a couple of Christmas dinners with friends which is fun. It is an excuse for a night out.
Christmas Eve carols in our local church and then a film with mince pies etc. Not sure what it is but I’d be delighted with Home Alone.
Christmas day I love the start – the stocking presents, nice breakfast, tree presents. Lunch will be good but I have learned to keep it simple. To much work takes the gloss off for me. Then family will come round in the evening for games and snacks. And booze.
New Years Eve we go to a traditional panto in a local theatre (Aldershot – I can’t recommend their panto enough). No TV stars or celebs from reality shoes. Just good fun actors and kids from the local dances schools. Later on it will be a party round friends.
Lemonhope says
Christmas in the Lemon cave is pretty full on, Lemonwife loves Christmas to the max, me less so but I’ve gradually learned to appreciate the good bits and avoid the worst bits. There’s very little reason to be grinch-like about it these days, if you don’t like Christmas shopping with all the crowds etc then do it all online, but mainly it’s about finding what works for you and doing more of it and like most things in relationships it’s all about compromise, and making it work for everyone involved. So the decorations go up around the 16th [not the 3rd !] etc.
I’m very lucky in that I get to see most of the people I love quite a bit throughout the year, but there is something special about catching up with everyone at Christmas when we’re all chilled and relaxed.
‘The years go by so fast, let’s hope the next beats the last’
Tony Japanese says
I am beginning to fall in love with Christmas again. For a number of years the festive season was slightly marred by working in retail (although I did enjoy rifling through the Christmas DVDs and watching them during my lunch breaks throughout December) but since leaving four years ago I enjoy the whole thing. It’s made even better having somebody special to share it with.
Christmas Songs – I always refresh my iPod in December to remove all the normal songs and replace them with all the Xmas songs on my iTunes. Then I have a month to listen to 8CDs worth of hits and carols on my drive to and from work.
Children – Not my own, but those of my brothers and sisters. Christmas is significantly better when there are children involved. The look on their faces when they see that Santa has left a bundle of presents for them is inspiring.
Shopping – Never enjoyable, especially if you leave it until the last minute. We did the majority of our Christmas shop on Saturday morning prior to watching Paddington 2. The budget has been tightened this year due to wedding costs.
Christmas Day – At the moment we alternate the day between her parents and my own. This year we will be at hers. This means a quiet, relaxed, adults-only atmposphere with presents opened after the Queen’s speech rather than chaos, nieces and nephews, glee and presents opened at the break of dawn as per last year.
TV/Films – We tend to avoid the television over Christmas. There just seems to be more important things to be done. Friends and family to catch up with, new books to read, new music to listen to etc.
Gatz says
Christmas is so much better without it squatting over half the year as it does for retail workers (I did 17). Now I’m out of it I can enjoy some of the build up a little, but I’m glad to see that even Christmas lovers don’t have much to say in favour of the day itself. It was always an anticlimax when I was a kid, and brings a slightly oppressive sense of house arrest as an adult. Anyway, probably round at The Light’s, her father brought round for lunch then Doctor Who and lashings of cheese and port. If I’m lucky I’ll be asleep by 10pm until the whole thing has gone away again for another year.
Chrisf says
I also love Christmas, especially the build up and I actually like Christmas Eve the best – everything prepared, settle down with family, lights flickering, a crap film on TV…….
I usually start thinking about it the first week of December – being in Singapore. I have to organise getting presents ordered and Christmas cards sent to friends and family in the UK. However, this year we are off the Japan for some skiing and stuff the first two weeks of Dec and so I better get my arse in gear this week……
Christmas Day itself will be cooking Christmas dinner for my wife’s family and a bunch of friends – usually about 25 people, which involves the largest turkey I can find (that miraculously fits in the oven – 9.5KG last year) and lots if side dishes. It’s great fun, if a little fraught getting it all the come together and usually by 5pm after being on the wine all day whilst cooking, I shrink into a corner and doze off. The only downside is that fact I have to get up at the crack of dawn to stick the bird in the oven.
davebigpicture says
I’ve tried over the years, especially when the kids were young, but I don’t like it. The last few have been marred by mother in law’s dementia and other family troubles. The best Christmases were before we had children and spent it with friends. No obligations or expectations. To cap it all, my son is going skiing with a mate and his family so this is the first year we won’t be together which will just make it seem strange.
SteveT says
Really great post and surprise surprise Bob I love Christmas and mince pies as much as you do. The Carol that does it for me is In the bleak mid Winter.
I feel for you that you can’t be with your kids on Xmas day but eventually it will be better for you when arrangements are made that are agreeable to you all. I remember the first Christmas day without being under the same roof as my son. I was invited round to his house to watch him open his presents. He was 5 years old. As much as I wanted to see him open his presents more than anything I wanted to spend the day with him. I watched him open his gifts and then got in the car to go home and promptly balled my eyes out.
Subsequent Christmases were a lot better as we jointly agreed to alternate so if I didn’t have him for Christmas day I had him for Boxing Day. Like you the big benefit was never having to see my ex mother in law ever again- the most dreadful human being I have ever had the misfortune to meet.
This year we are having lunch in a restaurant to take away the strain of having 9 or 10 people at our house and the day after boxing day we go to Scotland for 3 days. I agree with you though Christmas Eve is where the magic is.
Tony Japanese says
“I remember the first Christmas day without being under the same roof as my son. I was invited round to his house to watch him open his presents. He was 5 years old. As much as I wanted to see him open his presents more than anything I wanted to spend the day with him. I watched him open his gifts and then got in the car to go home and promptly balled my eyes out.”
That’s an incredibly sad image, SteveT. Being a child of divorced parents, I never appreciated how the other parent must have felt not being able to spend Christmas Day with their own children.
SteveT says
It was 23 years ago @Tony_Japanese and it still upsets me now when I think about it. It also makes me appreciate the importance of family. I knew it then but now I am far more in tune with it and especially this year as it will be the first without my Dad. So whilst I love Christmas there will be a bittersweet tinge to it this year.
JustB says
Thanks Steve. The situation is just fine – next year the kids will have Christmas with me. And this year, I’m picking them up on 27th and bringing them back to my folks’ place for Christmas Mk II. 🙂
Tahir W says
Happy Thanksgiving y’all!
minibreakfast says
You too, sugah!
Moose the Mooche says
Way-hell, fan mah brow if it ain’t Janglebells!
dai says
That was last week
pencilsqueezer says
Alone and flat broke so I’m volunteering to help out at a local hospice on Christmas Day. I did this last year and found it a useful and peaceful way to spend a difficult day.
The other days will be spent as any other, painting.
I hope you all enjoy the season to the full however you choose or don’t choose to indulge in it.
Merry Christmas. X
fitterstoke says
I find myself moving in the same direction, Mr P – lately Christmas has accumulated some difficult associations in our house, and I’d been thinking about volunteering down at the local Sally Army on the day.
All the best, man.
pencilsqueezer says
Go for it fitter. You won’t regret doing so.
All the very best to you too.
JustB says
That’s really lovely, P. What a giant heart you have. x
pencilsqueezer says
I get a lot out of the day Bob. I get to sit with folk and read short stories to them (suggestions gratefully received). Go out walking with them if that is what they want or just chat about this and that.
SteveT says
@pencilsqueezer a great cause and I am sure your day will be very fulfilling – I hope it is. Of course the greatest short story writer is Raymond Carver (OOAA) although I doubt his stories would fit the mood.
pencilsqueezer says
Thanks Steve. Yes Carver may not be suitable. Last year I stuck to excerpts from P.G. Wodehouse when asked. I thought I might give H.G. Wells a go this year but I’m not completely convinced about it. Tempting to try a little Shirley Jackson or M.R. James. Probably not suitable though.
Bingo Little says
Mark Twain wrote some wonderful short stories. Might be worth a look.
pencilsqueezer says
That’s a thought. It’s been years since I read any Twain and I think I’ve got a few samples in various anthologies knocking about my gaff. Thanks Bingo.
retropath2 says
Humbling and uplifting equally, Squeeze and Stoke, which sounds like a disco song instruction. A jot of re-evaluation has just hit the corner of my eye, and, I am sure, of others.
mikethep says
Given the likely age of most of the peeps you’re reading to, I’d suggest Maugham or Chekhov. There’s an amazing site that has loads of free short stories by classic writers: https://www.theshortstory.co.uk/resources/free-short-stories/
pencilsqueezer says
Thanks Mike I’ll check that site out.
Sadly I expect that just as last year the ages of some of the people will be lower numerically than mine. It’s only a small place with room for around twenty beds.
I spend four or five hours there before I’m gently ushered out.
I think I’ll chuck some Conan Doyle into my visiting bag as well. Everyone likes a bit of Sherlock.
mikethep says
Ah yes, didn’t think that through…anyway, good on you for doing it.
Kid Dynamite says
Oi! I love a bit of Somerset Maugham, and I am barely a day over, er, forty five.
JustB says
@pencilsqueezer I’ve been thinking a lot about your post, P. Humbled and inspired by it, I’ve just signed up to volunteer with a local organisation who feed those that can’t afford to feed themselves.
Thanks, old buddy. x
pencilsqueezer says
Fabulous.
You won’t regret it. Take a guitar along. Man does not live by bread alone.
X
JustB says
Nobody deserves that. 😉
minibreakfast says
Beat me to it 😉😊
JustB says
These people have suffered enough.
Mike_H says
There’s that Neil Innes quote: “I’ve suffered for my music. Now it’s your turn.”
Dave Ross says
I won’t be that Grinch except to say I’m learning to love Christmas again for reasons I won’t get heavy about here. I will be spending it this year with my loved one and our dog without much fuss. I will, like @lemonhope soon be dusting off Smith and Burrows for my pre Christmas listening ritual. If you don’t own it just do and that is my Christmas gift to you all, have a lovely one.
minibreakfast says
Have you heard Andy Burrows’ collaboration with Ilan Eshkeri i.e. the soundtrack to The Snowman and the Snowdog?
Bingo Little says
LOVE that soundtrack!
minibreakfast says
I got it on vinyl a couple of years ago. Just lovely.
Which reminds me: a few months ago someone on Twitter posted the movie poster for the 2017 horror The Snowman, with the caption “I’m all for a gritty re-boot, but I do hope they they leave in that lovely song”.
Dave Ross says
No I haven’t but thanks for the tip I’ll rectify that
Edithe. Just checked it’s on Spotify so all good
minibreakfast says
*high five*
Dave Ross says
Damn I went for the handshake #awkward
minibreakfast says
Well I enjoyed it.
Dave Ross says
Moose! Can you take over here please…….
minibreakfast says
Make he warms his hands up this time!
Brrr.
Tahir W says
Jeez, if it isn’t feet it’s hands!
Moose the Mooche says
Warm heart, sugah.
SteveT says
And of course the other great thing about Christmas is Sprouts. Bloody love em.
Lemonhope says
Sprouts!
Available all year round in the North
bungliemutt says
Parrrpp!
Moose the Mooche says
I think sprouts get an unfair press. I never eat sprouts and yet I basically spend a good proportion of Christmas and Boxing Day producing postern blasts of such ferocity that they have been known to divert shipping.
It’s basically turkey that makes you fart at Christmas – leastways that’s always the dominate note.* Under what other circumstances, unless you’re a fox, would you normally shovel that much poultry meat in your gob in one meal?**
(* A plaintive A minor, usually)
(**speaking from personal experience)
bungliemutt says
There is science behind the fart-inducing nature of sprouts; thankfully the same science that has developed underpants with anti-fart filters, the answer to all our Christmas prayers.
And yes, I did take the trouble to look this up, but thousands may prove grateful in the long run.
https://www.thenakedscientists.com/articles/interviews/why-do-brussels-sprouts-make-you-fart
minibreakfast says
Brassicas!
Moose the Mooche says
Well, yes, it is rather chilly.
Beezer says
It’s the sage and onion, and the chestnut, stuffing that has Mrs B calling Red Adair. The sprouts do add a certain je ne sais quoi nonetheless.
We don’t see much of our duvet on Christmas night. I can usually pin it up in the far corner of the room with a sustained burst.
Moose the Mooche says
But… Red Adair puts fires out. Unless Chez Beezer has an open fire that you’ve actually managed to extinguish with raw flatulence, in which case I would have to be made of stone not to simply salute.
Beezer says
Hasn’t he been known to cap gas rig leaks aswell? If not I’ll tell Mrs B.
No wonder he never calls her back. Oh, she will feel a fool*
*Me.
Gatz says
I’ll be away on the day of our work Christmas meal, which is usually my annual opportunity to try a couple of sprouts and see if I’ve acquired a taste for them yet. No luck so far, but it will be 15 to 20 years before I retire so there’s still time.
mikethep says
Have you noticed that people who love sprouts try to sell them to people who hate them (full disclosure: me) is by cooking them with all sorts of other ingredients – chestnuts, bacon – so in effect they taste as little like sprouts as possible? Something very odd there.
On the plus side, my new Australian Christmas is a completely sprout-free zone.
SteveT says
Putting bacon with sprouts is bloody sacrilege. Sprouts don’t need anything adding to them.
GCU Grey Area says
I agree, but they are wonderful smothered in onion sauce, though.
minibreakfast says
What isn’t?
mikethep says
Sacrilege indeed. Can’t I just have bacon, was what I said.
chiz says
It’s not that I don’t love Christmas. I’m up for carol-singing, beer-flinging, hailing-fellows-well-met and red-nosed jollity right up to the morning of the 25th, and then I want to do something else. The prospect of seven days of sitting in your new socks in cheese-doused indolence in front of Mary Poppins while the sky goes black at lunchtime fills me wth dread.
The kids in our family are all grown up and having my nephews buy me pints and humiliate me in various Playstation battlefields isn’t quite the same as those years when we would thrill to the childlike ferocity of their pre-dawn assault on a pile of Poundshop crap lovingly bundled into approximate gift formats a couple of hours earlier by post-pub uncles with little mastery of the mysteries of sellotape.
So until they get kids of their own, and with all the Godists in my generation gawping with slack-jawed admiration at the baby Jesus for days on end, for the eighth year running we will be spending the perineum of the year somewhere where they don’t do Christmas.
Black Type says
The vision of you sitting in your new socks in front of Mary Poppins gives a whole new meaning to “Spit-spot!” 😉
Beezer says
Christmas? I enjoy it, mainly thanks to my Dad who adored it. He was one of those who made the most of Christmas Day. Christmas Mornings we’d pull the cracker that was poking out of the top of my stocking and I’d give him the paper party hat. It would never leave his baldy head until bedtime. He’d sit in the corner armchair eating dates and Turkish Delight and monopolising the telly.; no biggie in those 3 channel days when the country was primed for Morecambe and Wise and The Wizard of Oz anyway.
But he passed at 56 just as i was entering my late teens with childhood fading away. After that Christmases were always pleasant but I was mainly thankful for the time off and away from work. There was little magical about them other than getting home and spending time with my Mam and sister. Perfectly nice enough.
This continued for some time until marriage and the arrival of our daughter. For a good lot of years Christmas, whether by ourselves at home or away with family or friends, was all about her reaction and experience. It became fun and daft again. I wore the hat all day and ate wine gums while she overdosed on stuff in boxes and wrapping paper.
She’s growing up now. Still very much a child but it won’t be long before she’ll be too cool for school about it all and we’ll move to a new phase.
Which we’ll enjoy. Christmas is lovely.
Locust says
I’m a huge fan of Christmas and can’t get enough of it. My family are basically indifferent, just barely tolerating my endless enthusiasm for decorations, Christmas music, presents, Christmas food etc. Lucky for me, I live alone and can indulge in my obsession as much as I want to!
Unfortunately I work too much to have the energy and time to do all of the stuff I want to do around Christmas. I try to find the time, but these days I’ve had to scale down my preparations, I’m just too tired to do most of it. But I’m hoping that I can be free the day before Christmas Eve this year, which will give me time to do a little more. Or just watch an extra Christmas movie…
I’m not very strict about “traditions”, I enjoy inventing my own and usually switch things up after a few years. But these are a few things that makes it feel like Christmas to me:
Baking the traditional (to my family) walnut and raisin strudel; for most of them the highlight of Christmas celebrations. A few years ago I skipped it one year, being exhausted after working too hard leading up to the holidays. The look on my dad’s face when I told him at the family Christmas party was so heartbreaking that I swore a solemn oath to myself that I will bake it no matter what, for as long as he lives…
Reading Dickens’ A Christmas Carol aloud to an audience of myself on the night leading up to Christmas Eve, sitting by my wonderful tree. Hamming it up like mad, with different voices and theatrical gestures…and crying at the sentimental bits (=most of it)
I have an advent calendar made out of wood, with 24 small drawers that you can fill with something tiny. Some years ago I got tired of filling it with candies, so I started to put folded pieces of paper in it with fifteen random words on each note. Every night when I get home from work I take out that day’s note and write a poem containing those fifteen words; it can’t take more than twenty minutes and you can’t polish the result. While I do this I listen to Handel’s Messiah (only the first twenty minutes, which I now know very well…)
This year, however, I’m switching things up; just writing ONE word on each note. It can inspire a poem, a short story, a drawing, a cartoon, anything really. That’s the idea anyway!
My best friend from school is also a Christmas nutter, and she and her daughter (and sometimes grandkids) always come down to Stockholm from their part of Sweden to have lunch before Christmas, and we exchange bags and bags full of gifts – none of us have grown up enough to stop loving Christmas gifts, and our families are not interested, so this is the practical solution.
Many years ago, when she was still living here, we’d spend most of November and all of December doing all of our Christmas preparations together; baking, making candy, decorating, cleaning our flats, and shopping. All while drinking glögg and singing carols in harmony. Those were the days!
This year however, she’s had a horrific falling-out with her daughter, and as they are both incredibly stubborn I doubt that it’ll be solved by Christmas. So not sure what will happen to that tradition. 🙁
I decorate my tree on Advent Sunday (this year it’ll be on Saturday, I have to work on Sunday). Mum always celebrate Christmas Eve with me, I used to cook an awful lot of food, but these days I just do a couple of things. Last year it was poached salmon with a chives- and dill sauce, and gravlax with the traditional mustard- and dill sauce, with boiled potatoes and a salad. We exchange a couple of gifts, but most of the gift-unwrapping part of the day is just mum watching me unwrap all of the gifts I got from other Christmas-loving friends…
On Boxing Day we have the big family get-together at one of my sisters’ house out in the sticks, everybody brings a dish or a cake (in my case both). We basically sit around eating for three or four hours, while talking loudly and hugging a lot…(we don’t get to see everyone that often)
If I’m lucky enough to have an extra day or two off I spend them shuffling about in pyjamas and slippers, eating yummy leftovers and cakes and staring at my lovely tree a lot (when I’m not watching bad Christmas films – I much prefer bad Christmas films to the quality ones…my favourite treat is to find a really awful Hallmark movie on YouTube and howl with laughter at its sickly sweet romantic fantasies and sentimentality, all dressed up in preposterous Christmas sweaters and often involving some cold and stressed-out career woman from the Big City landing the partnership and corner office but ending up being stranded in a countryside Small Town (seemingly stuck in the 50s) during Christmas and finding True American Values and real fulfillment when she falls in love with some wholesome farmer and his young motherless children, leaving work, riches and city slickers behind…I think it’s the combination of a super-sized Christmas atmosphere and the accidental comedy of the BS message of these films that I find so addictive. And I can play chocolate bingo with certain elements that always turn up sooner or later in them. 🙂
Of course, if it by some miracle happens to be a very cold and snowy Christmas, long brisk walks (with a cup of hot chocolate waiting at the end of them) are essential.
Not looking promising at the moment though. More autumn than winter, unfortunately.
Moose the Mooche says
I feel like I’m Gary Ebenezer Grinch after reading that. I regard myself as Christmassy but I mainly just put up some tinsel, turn up the stereo and get hammered.
Bingo Little says
You’re genuinely fantastic. Can I please come to your house for Christmas?
Locust says
Sure, hop on your surfboard and come on over. 🙂
Wayfarer says
Cleaning your flat: Is that a Swedish Christmas tradition?
Locust says
That, and taking a bath! 🙂
Wayfarer says
I take my bath at Easter.
Black Type says
Can you supply your address, flight times and directions please, Locust?
Locust says
Ummm…the North Pole, just flag down the first flying reindeer you see, and ask for Mrs Claus.
Black Type says
On it!
Kaisfatdad says
I am lost for words, Locust. Your 100% Xmas approach makes Santa look like a part timer.
Incidentally, here is a possible gig for our Stockholm Mingle. The wonderfully named Manish Pringle on December 6 at Rönnells.
http://ronnells.se/kalendarium/indian-steel-guitar-master-manish-pingle
He sounds rather magnificent..
Locust says
Hmmm…interesting, but I don’t think I could take an hour or so of that. The first part of that video sounds a bit like someone trying to tune his guitar. 😀
Anyway, if I can count, December 6 is on a Wednesday, so impossible I’m afraid!
I used to do 100% Christmas, these days I probably don’t get more than 60%, by my standards.
I only have time to make a gingerbread castle every five years or so, I only make two kinds of candy rather than the ten kinds I used to make, I don’t bake as much anymore, I only put up one tree and not two as I used to (at one point three) and I’ve given up the glögg except for a couple of small mugs on Christmas Eve. And I don’t cook all of the traditional dishes for the julbord anymore; it’s only me and mum and she can’t eat a whole lot these days. But scaling down on those more traditional and very time-consuming Christmas preparations has freed up time for new traditions, invented to fit into my life better.
But I can see myself going overboard again once I retire and have the time to do much more!
The Muswell Hillbilly says
Christmas is about to get a whole lot more interesting for our family. I’ve always quite enjoyed this time of year, although I was raised Jewish, so not really for any religious reasons. I used to enjoy a Carol service when that sort of thing came with the school celebration, but as I grew into early adulthood the Christmas period came to mean a nice chance to hang out with friends and family and get stuck into some comforting seasonal food and booze.
Like most people here there is also a whole cultural hinterland to my festive period; always nice to dig out Scrooged, A Charlie Brown Christmas or The Box of Delights and feel the familiar glow wash over you. Or spin the Spector album, the Sharon Jones Christmas album or the other festive options that I’ve unearthed over the years in order to diversify from the ‘classic’ Christmas hits.
That roster of syrupy festive music was ruined for me by a good 5 years or so if retail work at Christmas. I was a bookseller and so I quite enjoyed the fact that christmas vastly increases the footfall into our most important retail spaces. Mainly to buy a load of old shit, mind you, but it was a nice place to work at that time of year and it was nice to feel you were ‘in the trenches’ to some extent.
I’ve always worked at Christmas, really. One year I was selling Christmas trees at a huge site in north London. A job that I really enjoyed, although the fact that I knew I was starting a very long and, as it turned out, life changing, acting gig the week after Xmas helped. That was 2013 and I’ve been in a show over Christmas ever since; a couple of years at the Barbican, in big shows that transferred for the season. Christmas started to mean running around The City, feeling like an imposter but vicariously enjoying the opulence of others’ festivities before heading into the bunker of the dressing rooms and giving people the same sort of theatrical Christmas treat I used to enjoy.
There have been other types of Christmas along the way; one in Coogee Bay in Sydney which I spent stoned and largely unfed, trying to get my end away with a succession of beautiful women. The year my Grandma was falling apart physically in front of our eyes. The Belfast Christmasses with my in laws where they really get stuck into the booze.
Last year I did my first proper Christmas show; with singing and dancing and a children’s chorus. It was also the Christmas Day when we told my parents they were going to be grandparents for the first time. That was a Christmas day to remember.
And now it’s the first Christmas with our daughter. Back in Oxford, where I was working last year, to do A Christmas Carol with a familiar group of friends and colleagues which makes the hard work and long hours a pleasure and makes it feel like family. The traditions we’ve invented for ourselves will be honoured; fish and chips on Christmas Eve, midday Mojitos on the day itself. We’ll have to break the ‘vinyl only’ rule as we’re away from home. But what is really exciting me is that a new childhood is in motion. New eyes to see it all through, new traditions to be established, new giddiness to reign over the period. Not this year necessarily; she’ll be 6 months old. Not even next year, I expect. But soon enough it will all be stockings and nativity plays and fun and giggling. And I think it’ll be my favourite Christmas era of them all.
Too early to get excited about it yet, mind you. Around about the 20th; that’ll be when I start up.
Tony Japanese says
I forgot to mention it was always a tradition for our parents to read ‘A Visit From St. Nicholas’ on Christmas Eve. My sister has continued this – using the same pop-up book – with her children.
Wilson Wilson says
I’m quite excited about it this year – my daughter will be three (tomorrow!) and for the first time seems to know what’s going on. Her little brother doesn’t, but gets excited when she’s excited. Because they’re so young we don’t really have Christmas traditions in place yet, and it feels like that’s what’ll make the next few years fun. So we have a trip to see Santa organised, a kids’ show at the local theatre, and a candlelit carol singalong in the local park. But most importantly, me and Mrs Wilson Wilson have two weeks off work that we can spend lazing around the house, eating too much and watching Christmas movies. And I always find time to read, or at least listen to, some of David Sedaris’ Christmas Stories.
NigelT says
Some lovely stuff up there ^^!!!
Childhood Christmases were always spent at home, occasionally with a grandparent staying later on, and that was the template for me …Christmas Eve carol service, hang up the stockings, early to bed, get up, open stocking, breakfast, open main presents, play with new stuff (or later on play new records), Christmas dinner, then games mostly, with another present off the tree after tea, and then Christmas tv.
I think it was when that template was broken later on that I developed a dislike and then a positive loathing…going to the in-laws was dreadful – not that they were awful people, but it just wasn’t home and they did different things, and you had to transport everything there, and there was the growing realisation that the whole season was getting to be just a feast of consumerism. It made me depressed and miserable and I just wanted the whole thing to be over.
Things have moved on…we no longer have our parents and now the kids come home, my sister comes, often an old friend stays, and we have huge fun…and now it’s a Christmas service on Christmas Eve (still the most magical day), my daughter (age 30) and I watch the Muppet Christmas Carol, Home Alone, Blackadder’s Christmas Carol, we hang up stockings…Christmas morning we go to the beach and meet up with friends and several of us do the Christmas swim, home for bacon rolls and bucks fizz and presents…a spanking dinner cooked by me, then games.
This has also driven me to decorate the house with lights on the outside and festoon the house with holly and mistletoe from the garden…Christmas is Christmas again….
Bingo Little says
Lovely post – sounds like an excellent Christmas!
retropath2 says
Go to the beach, christmas swim? That must shrink your baubles.
NigelT says
It is a bit on the nippy side sometimes….a few years ago we had all that snow in December and there was about 6″ of ice on the beach….that was the year I thought it might have been an idea to take some flip flops.
Malc says
Christmas for me starts with the Macmillan carol concert in Oxford Cathedral, this year on Dec 8th. It’s a lovely event with evocative readings by slebs and wonderful singing by the choir – for years it was Schola Cantorum, but it’s a different lot this year so will be interesting to see how they compare. Not only a good cause but relevant – my mother-in-law died of cancer on Christmas Day 11 years ago.
We used to alternate families for Christmas itself, but have now settled into a routine. Up to my father-in-law for Christmas, back home for my side of the family’s main get-together at my parents’ on Boxing Day, then back up to FiL’s to see the rest of the family for a couple of days. Quite a bit of driving involved but it works for us. Like many others above, the highlights tend to be Christmas Eve and Boxing Day rather than Christmas Day itself, which can flag after dinner. This year I reckon we’ll play more card games, which the kids are getting into now – nomination whist and sevens, but I’d like to get them into Black Maria too.
retropath2 says
I initially misread that as a Macallan carol concert, which I’d be up for.
Moose the Mooche says
Two words: hip flasks 😉
Malc says
That’s one of the few things that could improve it.
Chris says
All of that. With Christmas baubles on. I had the conversation the other day with Mrs Chris about what would have become of us if one or the other didn’t really enjoy Christmas. We were stumped, it has to be said. We simply love it. Every DAB radio in the house & car already tuned into one of Magic Christmas, Heart Christmas or Pulse Christmas – if you’re really quick with the presets, you can get Slade three times in a row. Getting the tree this weekend. Big difference this year is our bonkers rescue dog that we brought home in September – still a work in progress, but I’ll have to shake off the fug of Christmas Day alcohol to take him out for his constitutional….
Christmas transports me back to being a child and all the anticipation and magic that involved. Carols – yes, the Messiah – yes, Bach Christmas Oratorio – yes please. Our annual family viewing of Elf with the log-fire on and just the tree lights illuminating proceedings – a blissful moment, even now the boys are 21 and 17! Boozy Christmas morning as we dance around the kitchen preparing lunch, crackers pulled & hats on as we enjoy our meal, then the inevitable doze in front of the TV. I shall be dipping into the BBC Ghost Stories DVD boxset when everyone’s abed, large glass of single malt in hand, toasting our good fortune. A few health issues throughout the family over the last few years, but we’ve all come out the other side and will cherish moments like these even more dearly.
johnw says
Well if it’s anything like our house, the attitude of the christmas dissenter is the one that prevails. I do feel a little bit guilty that my wife doesn’t seem to have the same enthusiasm for christmas that she once had although I’d like to think it’s not all because of me.
This year looks like being easier than most of the past 30 odd in that there will only be 4 of us in the house on 25th dec and since I unilaterally vetoed present giving (involving me – I’m not an ogre) the stress levels are right down. Last year was the first year I’d visited my mum in the care home and the stress levels were off the scale – I had no idea what to expect and, although I don’t like raining on anyone’s parade, it’s really hard to say the right things when you don’t actually mean it. This year I’ll be going down again celebrating another good year of physical health for my mum and slightly in awe that last year wasn’t.. well.. the last! It really is a marvelous place for her.
I hope everyone else has as a nice a time as they want to. Also realise that, just because someone has no interest in christmas and would be happier if it wasn’t ‘a thing’, it doesn’t mean that they don’t want you to enjoy yourself – it’s the same with birthdays, I don’t do anything to mark mine but I don’t begrudge other people their events.
Also… I do like christmas music and, even though I don’t ‘do’ christmas, I’m looking forward to listening to tracks that just seem wrong in July!
Kid Dynamite says
It’ll be a short one for me. A late pelt down the M5 and A38 on Christmas Eve to arrive at my parents’, where my brother, his wife and kids will already be in residence. My brother and I will get the kids over excited and then fade into the background when it’s time to put them to bed, and have a couple of drinks and catch up. I’ll have a dutiful nibble on the carrot left out for Rudolph and go to bed. Far too early the next morning there will be a blizzard of excited screams (there’ll be three girls under twelve there) and a big present opening session. We don’t hold with that waiting lark. My dad will be shuffling around in his slippers picking up discarded wrapping paper before it’s barely hit the floor, and my mum will be fretting about the Christmas lunch she refuses to let anyone else help with. The dog will have been driven to her basket by enthusiastic over cuddling from my niece and probably won’t leave it for the rest of the day. A big lunch with plenty of wine and my French sister in law saying how different it is from what they do, and then probably a snooze until Doctor Who. Sounds alright to me.
Moose the Mooche says
Mate, go easy … Rudolph needs that carrot!
Tiggerlion says
I used to enjoy Christmas until Simon Cowell killed the Christmas single. In the sixties, The Beatles dominated the Christmas number one. Their songs weren’t actually Christmas-y but they were so lovable. The seventies were Christmas single manna with John Lennon, Slade, Wizzard, Mud, Greg Lake, Mike Oldfield and The Greedies. The eighties went Christmas crazy for Shakin’ Stevens, Clîff Richards, Aled Jones, The Flying Pickets and Jive Bunny & the Master Mixers. Band Aid hit the top spot twice. The nineties started badly with Mr. Blobby and Whitney Huston’s warbling but was redeemed by The Spice Girls bagging number one in three successive years, just as The Beatles did. Sadly, the 21st Century saw the first stirrings of the singing competition. Girls Aloud, begat by Popstars, took the Christmas top slot in 2003, but soon Cowell’s X Factor took over and ruined Christmas. The competition gave up, except for Cliff, bless him. Coldplay wrote the most can’t-be-bothered Christmas song ever in 2010. The last great Christmas single remains Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You from 1994.
Damn you, Simon Cowell and your witch from Girls Aloud. You’ve made my Christmas miserable. Thank God for Elf, coincidentally released in 2003 just as singles rot set in.
Milkybarnick says
I reckon this is the last really proper good Christmas record (although it is a bit silly):
And that Coldplay one is a bit of a grower – bit downbeat, but pleasant enough.
Moose the Mooche says
Bells end… ho ho ho
JustB says
HOLD THE AFTERWORD PRESSES, EVERYONE! THE BEATLES WERE BEST AT CHRISTMAS SONGS EVEN WHEN NOT ACTUALLY DOING CHRISTMAS SONGS!
They’re also my favourite theoretical physicists, my favourite weavers and my favourite post-structuralist literary critics.
😉
Moose the Mooche says
Bloody hell. Anybody who grades the quality of their Christmas by what happens to be in the pop charts that week is setting themselves up for a lifetime of misery.
That said, the 2-part Top if the Pops Christmas Special of 1979 was the highlight of mine that year. But…. to be fair
… I WAS SIX!
JustB says
As any fule know, the best Christmas song is Christmas in Hollis.
Moose the Mooche says
My name’s DMC with a mic in my hand
And I’m chillin’ and coolin’ just like a snowman…
Leicester Bangs says
I can take it or leave it. Like, I have moments of feeling Christmassy when we’re decorating the tree etc., but it seems to go on for an awfully long time, and being a solitary type I find the social aspect a bit wearing.
Mind you, reading the above it looks like I need some annual traditions to beat the apathy. I’m genuinely envious!
johnw says
I’m a little envious also but I just think that I don’t do traditions. Its not a deliberate protection mechanism but I think it helps serve as one. My wife’s family are quite big on tradition and it seems to serve up an upset several times a year when either things aren’t like they used to be or they’re reminded of a departed loved one. I’m not sure the minor benefits outweigh the added grief and stress.
Alias says
I think we would all agree that no music is more Chistmassy than the music of Albert Ayler. I was delighted to discover this new CD Mars Williams Presents An Ayler Christmas. Expect to hear it on rotation at your nearest shopping mall.
https://marswilliams.bandcamp.com/album/mars-williams-presents-an-ayler-xmas
Kaisfatdad says
Hilarious comment and an ingenious recording., Alias. Bound to go down a storm in Waitrose!
I am bunging that on the AW Facebook group. Ayler is more Xmassy that Santa!
mikethep says
Just back from K-Mart, and in a mood for a bit of a grinch rant, so please forgive, or ignore according to taste. Maybe play a bit of Alias’s Ayler Christmas. (I was buying a $3 Santa hat, since you ask, which you didn’t and shouldn’t.)
I was gobsmacked all over again by the torrents of absolute SHIT that pour out of China at this time of year (and every other time of year), all of which is destined to spend a thousand years in landfill, starting sooner rather than later. And what happens to all the unsold stuff, eh? Santa Table Socks, anyone? Santa’s Elf Onesies for pussies, FFS?
Now I know it’s all about the kiddies, and I’d be the first to admit that my offspring would have sternly rejected daisy chains made out of newspaper, a tangerine and a lump of coal for Christmas. I’m sure that none of you lot would fall for all this shit (am I sure? Not sure) and happily hang up artisan rough-hewn recycled pallet fairies every year…but there’s a market for it, obviously, or K-Mart (and Target, and Aldi, and Woolworth’s) wouldn’t bother.
There has to be a better way, surely? Or am I just pissing in the wind?